The 21 Day Challenge Everyone Should Take
Glen / 
80 Comments / 
April 15th, 2009 / 
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I’m on day 14 of a 21-day challenge that I semi-invented and so far I have to admit the results have been nothing short of amazing. Now, when I say that I semi-invented it, that is purely because I took the idea from the excellent book ‘Psycho Cybernetics’ and put it in a format that everyone can follow, myself included.
I’m not exaggerating when I say this challenge can literally help with any aspect of your life that you would like to improve. Before I go into more detail on how you can follow along, I need to talk a little about our ‘self image’ and why it is very important.
Understanding the Self Image
In the mid 20th Century, Maxwell Maltz who was a plastic surgeon, wrote a book called Psycho Cybernetics that has now sold millions of copies and been updated for modern times. It was this book that led me to write the post ‘How to Improve at Anything‘ and it is probably the greatest book I have ever read. Yes, greater than The Power of Now – sorry Eckhart.
Maltz found that when certain people had surgery to improve their appearance – for example someone having their nose made smaller – they would literally change instantly and suddenly become confident and enthusiastic about life. However, he also noticed that some people didn’t change at all; even when he had fixed a fatal ‘flaw’ in their image, they still remained shy and unhappy about their appearance, as if nothing had changed.
In looking into this further, he states that we all have a self-image that is purely a mental image of how we see ourselves. For example, if I said to each of you that you have to do a speech in front of 500 people tomorrow simply talking about yourself, you will have an instant image in your mind of how you would act in that situation. You can instantly tell me that you would “have no problems” or “collapse with fear” before the event has even happened, based on the image that you have of yourself.
Our self image is often very directly linked to how we act in life and how good we feel; this, by the way, is one of the reasons we tend to love validation. If 6 months ago you had told me to speak in public I would instantly feel nervous and anxious at the thought, I would get a feeling that I would just “screw it up”. These days, it wouldn’t bother me in the slightest because I have faced that challenge head-on and know how I would act.
If we have the honest self-assessment that we are a good looking individual, we don’t find it odd that an attractive man or woman might be interested in us. Yet if you don’t view yourself highly and someone who you deem more attractive comes along, you wonder about why they seem interested in you.
Our self image is crucial and determines how we act in life and often what we feel we deserve. Some people have a negative and defeating self-image that only works to make them more miserable. Thankfully, some people have a self image that they are ‘worthy’ and tend to have a happier and more fulfilling life.
The good news is that you can completely change your self-image, and literally be whoever you want to be. And this, my awesome readers, is where the 21 day challenge comes in.
The 21 Day Challenge
First of all I want to address the reason for this being a 21 day challenge, and not 20 days, 19, or even 30. It was discovered through Maltz’s research that it takes around 21 days for new pathways and connections to form in our brains. If you are trying to learn a new habit for example, it will take 21 days of consistent action for that habit to become natural. In fact after 21 days it will become harder to actually stop doing the habit then it will be to let it happen.
To be honest, the 21 day figure is not set in stone, but if you are going to take the challenge seriously, then you need to do it for at least 21 days, missing no days in between. It may seem like a long time, but what is 3 weeks of a 10-minute daily exercise that can literally change your life?
The only thing the challenge requires is that you have an area of your life you would like to work on, or a certain way you would like to ‘be’.
During my first few months in South Africa, I voluntarily went out to nightclubs on my own and just spoke to people. Guys, girls, older married women, couples…anyone. I simply wanted to push myself out of my comfort zone. If I wanted to dance then I would go to the dance floor and dance, even if nobody else was there. During some of these nights, I would feel so happy and free that it was just pure bliss. I would come home feeling drunk, even though I hadn’t drank, just because I had reached a level of ‘not caring’ and pure enjoyment.
I’m telling you this because this is the feeling and type of action that I have been focusing on in my challenge. Sometimes I can become shy and ‘lock up’ and I would rather be the Glen that could go to a club on his own, meet tons of awesome people and start a conversation with anyone whilst being completely care-free. My challenge if you like is to be more consistently in the state that I can sometimes generate.
It is important that you have an area in mind that you want to improve. If you don’t have one then you’re lucky, and this challenge isn’t necessary. Whether it is with productivity, dealing with feeling inferior, wanting more confidence or something else, have your end goal in mind.
A person must see themselves in a new role before their self image can change
- Maxwell Maltz
Let’s look at the 4 parts of this challenge…
The 4 Parts
This challenge, or exercise if you like, consists of 4 parts. I personally printed off this exercise and my own scenarios on a sheet of paper and have them stuck to the wall next to where my laptop is, along with 21 boxes that represent each of the days. After I’ve done the exercise for one day then I cross off a box; I recommend you do something similar to help you stick to this plan.
1. Vividly Imagine a Time When You Where Being How You Wanted
As stated in the quote, you must see yourself in a role before you can change your self image. One of the best ways to vividly imagine yourself in a role is if you actually have some experience of being how you wanted.
Thankfully I have a lot of reference points in my mind of me going to clubs, socialising, being confident and meeting new people that I can vividly imagine. Whatever it is you want to improve upon (confidence, attitude, positivity, productivity…whatever) then see if you can recall times when you were being exactly how you want to be.
Spend a couple of minutes going over each scenario in your mind from when you were being how you want to. Try to be as detailed as possible and remember sounds, smells and small details about your surroundings.
2. Picture Yourself in a New Scenario, Being How You Want to Be
If you don’t have reference points for part 1 then this is very crucial, yet even if you do then this is still important. This part basically requires you to think of a few possible scenarios that you might have and then imagine them in your mind, of you acting exactly how you want to act.
You may see yourself working hard, you may see yourself playing an instrument perfectly or even giving a speech in front of an audience of thousands of people. The thing to remember is that you must see yourself as if you have achieved what you want to achieve. Our brains contain what you could call a ‘goal seeking mechanism’ so do not focus on the process, your brain will take care of that for you, instead you should focus on the end result.
I pictured myself speaking in front of a large audience with no problems, reacting to a difficult social situation calmly and being how I want to be in other situations. I recommend that you write these scenarios down so that you can ‘relive’ them daily for the 21 days.
3. Realise You Are Going to Die
This might seem stupid as we all know we are going to die, right? Well yes, we do, but we rarely act like that is the case. We get so caught up in little irrelevant problems and think they are so world-shatteringly huge and important that we forget to see the bigger picture.
This point is nothing to do with Maxwell Maltz’s idea and something I have incorporated on my own. I have found this realisation to be vital – whenever you are sweating the small stuff and feeling down, it’s good to remember this is our only opportunity in life and we need to make the most of it.
Spend a couple of minutes realising that you will die one day, and so will all the people you love and care about. Are these little daily problems you face in life now really that important or horrific?
4. Think of a Problem or Issue You Think is Holding You Back
This can really be anything, from feeling inferior to others because of your height, thinking you aren’t attractive or thinking that you aren’t intelligent. Focus in on something that really bothers you, something that you think if you could ‘fix’ then life would be great again (of course, that is rarely the case).
Personally for this point I realised that sometimes I feel inferior to other people and I didn’t want that to be the case anymore.
One you have the ‘problem’ in your mind, really explore it through the following questions:
- Is there any rational reason for having this belief?
- Could I be mistaken in this belief?
- Would I come to the same conclusion about some other person?
- Why should I continue to act as if this belief is true, if there is no rational reason to do so?
The important thing about this part is that you need to get emotional, even angry if you like when answering the questions. For example if you feel inferior, there is no real rational reason for feeling so, so get angry about the time you’ve wasted in life feeling this way.
The reason for being emotional about these questions is that there can be quite a shift in your consciousness, an awakening if you like, if you can clearly see no rational reason for some of your beliefs.
If you can do this for 21 days then you will start to notice a lot of changes. First of all, these thoughts will come up into your conscious memory a lot more. For example if you notice yourself stressing about something small you will automatically think “life is short, this problem is just a situation”. Additionally, you will start to be the person that you have imagined being in future scenarios.
I didn’t write a 1,900 word post for nothing; this has been one of the most reality changing things I have ever done in my life. Give it a try and let me know how you get on.
If you enjoyed this post, I would appreciate if you share it on Twitter, Facebook or Delicious!
Seems like this will work magic. I will try and comment after 21 days, right?
Haha yes, if you remember
I’ll still be here
This is very inspirational. I have been reading the book Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. I have started my own self improvement blog at http://inmoment.wordpress.com/category/uncategorized/ and it would be great if you could comment on it or give me any constructive feedback
Its crazy how things work out. I have known that it takes 21 days to make a happet. Lastnight i thought about doing a 21 day challenge and keeping a video blog, and today i did some research and found your blog post. I was going to do just getting healther. You have given me some ideas of other things i can do…thank you.
Mark
Really great post Glen. Psycho Cybernetics is one of the top books on my bookshelf, really amazing stuff and I totally agree with what you’ve said about it. I’m using a very similar process with my clients as you’ve outlined here, and it works wonders. The number “21″ is a good choice here, most of our habits and mental processes take around 21 days to really begin to change.
Nice to see I’m not alone, I don’t understand how people can’t try this stuff out after reading the book, it’s really life changing.
The only implementation I found of the method online was a paid option by a guy named Matt Furey, so of course I decided to release my free method which is working well for me
Thanks Alex!
Ahhhhh….pshyco cybernetics!
I have to agree with Glen, it is the best book I have ever read.
So many things that I sort of picked up unconsciously are explained in it, and it’s a constant series of “aha” moments:)
Great suggestion!
Why dont you put a link to the book so people can buy it. More people should read it!
Diggy, nice to see you read the book after I gave you a copy. Definitely an amazing book, and it’s no surprise it has sold millions of copies.
Realize you are going to die may sound cold, but it’s an essential truth that can help us not only face our shortcomings but immediately instill in us a desire to overcome them all and be greater than the sum of our parts.
This sounds VERY interesting. And so does the book you mention at the beginning of your post. I love The Power of Now so I have a feeling I would really like that one too. Thanks for sharing information about the challenge!
You’re welcome. Note that the two books are actually very different in content, it’s just that I’m a huge fan of TPON and this is the only book that tops it for me.
Hi Glen,
It seems like a really good book and I have to pick it up soon. The 21 days challenge sounds interesting too. Thanks for sharing.
Cheers
Vincent
Personal Development Blogger
Thinking about death makes me start living right away, doing the things I wanna do because death really scares me. So I totally agree with that part. great challenge! Thanks.
Hi Glen,
Great post. Isn’t it amazing that the steps you listed are so simple yet so powerful? As you mentioned in the first step, visualizing what you want and all the details are very crucial. I also loved the third step. I always have believed that if people fully accepted the fact that they will die, then they will truly start to live. Thank you for that reminder.
What an excellent challenge. I’m in!
Karen
Great to hear Karen, I trust that you will stick to this and let us know how it goes!
Nice post Glen!
I was reading Tony Robbins and he says that reference experiences can be imagined, because ultimately you can’t tell the difference between real memories and things that you imagine (which is why NLP and submodality exercises work). The strength of the reference comes down to the emotional intensity with which you imagine the scene, and the amount of times you replay it to yourself. There, magic pill for creating references
I just watched a cool video on youtube I thought you would like,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY
Just to let you all know that I’m almost finished this now and my life has changed dramatically, I can’t recommend anything as highly as this.
Ok It seems easy enough, but like all good programs we all know easy isn’t easy at all. I am will to do the work for great results.
Thanks for the post Glenn. I’ll try this and report back.
Glen
Fantastic post, I’ve just finished reading ‘The Power of Less’ By Leo over @ ZenHabits and he has a very similar (dumbed down) process of creating new habits and focussing on things one at a time.
I’m going to take your process and apply it to my next 30 day challenge/habit. The step of realizing everything here for us is Finite and we don’t know the end date is a bit scary for me…but it is indeed reality.
Great post!
-Ian
Interesting and generally inspirational post. But … how would you change this article if somebody called #3 into question for you? What if I don’t believe death as it’s currently understood is inevitable?
Hey Frank, thanks for the comment. When I think of death it honestly inspires me to just take life by the horns and face any of my fears (one of the reasons I joined a public speaking club).
Now, whenever I’m worrying about something petty or scared of something that doesn’t matter, I instantly think “I’m going to die one day, what is the point” then then I take action, thanks to the 21 day challenge.
So, if you don’t need that kind of action in your life, just skip that part of the exercise.
Does that help?
Cheers,
Glen
For me, realizing that I cannot understand death until it happens works the same. None of us know what really happens, so we should still strive to live the best life possible.
thank you for this great post, Glen!
but I wanted to make sure of something: all you are doing is contemplating these issues, and it leads to improvement?
Hey Tim, thanks.
No, this is more about focusing on your desired end result and using visualisation to get you there. I didn’t believe it worked till I tried it myself.
Unless of course, you are talking about step 4 which is focusing on a problem / issue, yes.
so what I’m wondering is how you go about these four steps. do you have a habit of doing them in the morning (the four steps, picturing a time where you were what you wanted to be, etc….) with a cup of coffee or something?
again, thanks for the great post; love your site.
Hey Tim, thanks for the great comments, I appreciate it.
To be honest I don’t have a set time for doing these, but I always do them in my bedroom. I have a sheet on my wall which has 21 boxes, and then a printed off version of the 4 parts for me and the scenarios I’m going to visualise with them.
No coffee, I just close my eyes and get to work
Bro, I am honoured to have read this post… let me think about it and I will let u know what I think and the 21 days.
Thanks
Toto
Hey Toto, sounds good buddy. Was good speaking to you the other day!
WHAT?
I’M GOING TO DIE???!!!
MY GOD!!!
I’ve had this blog post on my to-read list for a while, and I finally got around to reading it attentively.
I’m starting my 21 days today. Let’s see how much more awesome my life will become!
Great to hear Vlad
#2: “Picture Yourself in a New Scenario, Being How You Want to Be”
It also helps picturing oneself how to get there, with all the necessary preparations included.
Hi Alexander, it’s actually far more effective to focus on the end result.
From the article:
Hi Glen,
Just wanted to say thankyou! I’ve just completed the 21 day challenge, and it has honestly made a difference! I know it’s not a magic cure-all, and I’m still working hard on my issue, but it has definitely changed my way of thinking, therefore also my behaviour. I’m doing things now much more easily than previously; things that I have struggled with in the past.
I’m going to apply this challenge to other areas of my life next. This has been the most helpful exercise I’ve ever tried.
Thanks again!
Hey Mandy, that is really awesome to hear.
Thanks for coming back and sharing your update, I hope it continues to work well for you in other areas of your life!
This article needs some serious spell-checking.
You’re welcome Ryan, thanks
Well… here we go. I start tomorrow.
Thanks for the post, and I’ll try my best to remember to come back in 21 days and let ya know how it went. Also going to apply the 21 days philosophy to a few other habits I want to form and see just how well that goes, also.
Again, thank you.
Wylie
Glen,
I’m starting tomorrow….can’t wait to see the results!!
Thanks for putting it on. I also ran out and bought the book!!!
Sounds good Helen, I’ve received so much awesome feedback from people who have completed. A lot of people have went on to apply this to other areas of their life as well.
Definitely worth the time it took to write it in order to get it out there.
Enjoy the book, it comes with my highest recommendation, and quite frankly the best book I have ever read, it can help you with most of lifes ‘problems.’ What’s more is that each time you’ll read it, you’ll take something away you didn’t do previously.
Thank you for stopping by!
Great post and the mention of Zen Habits is a good addition, I really need to start taking these same steps as there is always challenges to overcome, and in that taking the action through followup really can make a difference. I appreciate your insight and your post was a good one to take some time and think about, I appreciate you sharing your thoughts. And believe I will have to begin the process although for me I am working on Mono – Focus by the month.
Hey Glen! I love the idea of a 21-day challenge – Coincidentally, I wrote an article on 21-day trial on my blog http://embraceliving.net/blog/2009/06/cultivate-a-good-habits-in-21-days/, inspired by Steve’s 30-day trial idea. I just finished a 21-day raw vegan diet trial and it has been an amazing ride. Funny how so much can happen in just 21 days, yet it’s just a short period of 3 weeks!
Possibility your best post. Ever.
I’m so amped…
I know my perfect self and now I think I can become him.
So amped…I’m starting right now to do this thing.
Ready for my life to change.
Shot Bud.
Excellent stuff! And a great intro to Psychocybernetics for those who haven’t read it yet. I think this will definitely pique their interest – both for the book AND to take up the challenge. I shall by dropping by again!
My father-in-law drove the ‘you’re gonna die’ point home a few years ago when we were just out one afternoon to buy a propane tank. He could have bought the ten year model or the cheaper 5 year. He chose the 5 simply because he figured he won’t be around in 10 years (and also because he’s Scottish).
When I think of quickly an Alberta summer passes – putting life into terms of 30 or 40 Alberta summers makes it seem even that much short
Anyway, this is a very good point – to realize we’re all going to die at some point. I’m 48 and I kind of look at things only really needing to last maybe 30-40 more years. We’ve just completed building a house where we could have upgraded a ton of stuff that would probably last 100 years… but not only will we not be around to enjoy it then, we’ll probably move in 5-10 years anyway
You know how retarded this is. There are people who are legitimately unattractive or unintelligent and have perfectly rational reason to think like they are. Having a good attitude is important but if you pretend like you are already good then you will never improve. It’s better to think you are flawed even if you are ok, such that you might improve than to think you are great when you are a failure and never improve.
Matt
I don’t know if this is a loaded post or not, but regardless, I’ll take the bait. I feel I have to reply to your comment, only because I so strongly oppose it. No-one, no matter how supposedly unattractive or unintelligent they are (as you say), has to be confined to a life of just accepting that that’s how they are. Everyone can use the power of their mind to improve the quality of their life. Improvement is a lifelong goal that everyone has the right to aspire to. Furthermore, this challenge is not about “pretending like you are already good”; it’s about believing that you are or that you very soon will be.
I have taken this challenge, and even though I finished it weeks ago, I can say with absolute certainty that it continues to make a difference in my day to day life. The advice in the original post is the best self-help advice I’ve ever had (and believe me, I’ve had a lot!).
And no-one is ever a failure or beyond improvement.
I’m definitely interested in trying this, really amazing article.
I didn’t really think this could be of value to me on first impressions, but when thinking about it there are a few areas I could improve on even though I’ve managed to gain a lot of confidence and change my way of thinking myself, I’ll definently try the visualising what I want sounds like a great idea. Nice of you to publish this for free I hate them websites that tell you how great something is then when you get to the bottom you find out you gotta pay grrr, I’m feeling the love in the comments btw people lol
Wonderful post! You sure are doing a great work here. I just started visiting your blog yesterday and here I am today again-that confirms how lovely your site is.
As for the 21 days task, I’m definitely into it right away. I’m 100% sure it will be helpful.
Like you, I have a blog that is into personal development and self-discovery. I’ll want you to visit the blog and drop your comment about what you feel about what I do. However, I will like to know how I can get you to be interviewed online, know more about your challenges and how you overcame them-it will be helpful to my blog viewers,you know.
Keep up the good work!
Seun.
Nigeria.
I think I’ll try this. For the next 21 days I’m going to return to this site just to hit the StumbleUpon ‘Thumbs Down’ button. We’ll see how it goes.
Just forwarded your IP to my buddy John who works there.
Thanks for revealing your plans, and I wish you the best of luck
You shold use your spellcheck before you post.
Strong irony
Hey Glen,
I beg to differ,
Even if I was in front of 500 people. Whatever thought comes to mind whether “good” or “bad”. Those thoughts, or fears comes from the lack being in the Now. I do believe however that removing habits are good, like the limiting ones, you are what you are there is no need to add anything on top to what is. Anyways I’m no enlightened mystic here so this is helpful.
Alex
I am going to give this a try. I would like to try to quit drinking. Thanks for your motivation.
I did this and today is day 21; hmmm I think that I’m a little bit happier than when I started off. I was REALLY happy for a half-a-week around day 15 but not so much right now (still better than when I started off though). I was slacking off a lot when I started and my grades were slipping and during the challenge I decided to start putting more effort into school but now I’m just really overwhelmed…I barely have any time anymore because I’m putting in so much time into homework and studying :\ ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I’m so stressed out I keep scratching my arms.
( my right arm is completely pink right now.
what do i DO!@#!#$@#%#^$%^#$%
oh but to be fair, I am A LOT more positive now AND I AM OFFICIALLY OVER MY EXBOYFRIEND.
haha…I’m actually kinda sad it’s the last day.
One of the dangers of this kind of plan is that the person doing the fixing doesn’t always know what needs fixing. For instance, if someone wants to, say, stop over-eating, the 21 day plan can stop them eating, but won’t address why they over-eat. Without addressing that problem, 21 days or 21 years doesn’t matter, they still aren’t understanding the nature of the problem.
But for things like social phobias and nail biting, this should work great.
As long as they continue to not over-eat, does it matter why they were doing it to start with?
It’s far more common to be very clear WHY you’re doing something and yet still not know how to stop it.
Stop over-eating first, then you’ve at least solved one problem. If you really want to dig into why you were doing it (which IMO is more likely to keep the habit activated than to stop it), there’s no reason why you can’t do that afterwards.
Which version of Maltz’s book – or the CD package are you recommending or referring to please?
This sounds great, but I’m not quite sure how to translate it into use… The one area of life I would change seems like in step 4 I need to change other people… even though I know that is never true… I guess I just don’t know what I need to change about myself for the experience with others to change.
I believe I am attractive, in fact I know I am because I’m told so all the time… I’m actually confused as to why I don’t seem to attract guys that I like, only the ones I would never go for… The ones who play the odds til someone eventually says yes. I think I’m fun to be around, well balanced and one heck of a catch… but I’m scratching my head trying to figure out why the guys I like tend to wait years until the time has passed and they are married or something to admit to me that they really liked me back when I really liked them.
It’s seems like the issue is guys are afraid to approach me… but I’m super nice and will talk to anyone, so I really don’t understand what I need to change, or what it is that is holding me back. People tell me that’s just how it is when you are beautiful – guys doubt if they should approach you… but even though many pretty girls confirm this, I see beautiful women who CAN attract great men… So does anyone know what is holding me back so I can get through the last step and start this process? I really don’t want to buy the excuse that this is just how it is when you are pretty. It would be so much better to figure this out.
(I know this was long, so thanks to anyone who responds)
Well, since all else has failed I’m going to give this a shot. I’m nearing the end of my pseudo-science kick but I’ve got nothing to lose. I really hope this works. I really want it to.
So, i came across this website a couple of days before the summer solstice. Being that this challenge is for 21 days, it occurred to me that it would be a cool and symbolic experience to start it on June 21st. I have been consistent with this for the last few days. Im curious about one thing… do i imagine the same situations for each section of the challenge each day? or do i have to imagine different situations each day? I know it seems like a trivial question but i figured it wouldnt hurt to ask.