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Personal Development Face-Off: Round #7

Glen — Mon, 18 May 2009 10:00:23 +0000

We are now on to Round 7 of the Personal Development Face-Off. It looks like this will be the last one for quite a while, or I may ‘refresh’ the idea with a bit of a twist but we’ll see about that. I want to thank everyone who has voted and taken part in order to make this a great series!

In this seventh round we have two of the nicest bloggers in the industry: Alex De Foe and Mary Jaksch.

Alex De Foe was one of the first people I connected with in this industry and runs Spiritual Blog. He also owns a Melbourne based business focused on NLP.

Mary Jaksch is without a doubt one of my favourite female bloggers. She runs the site ‘Goodlife Zen’ and regularly offers practical, life-changing advice.

Questions & Answers

Alex De Foe	Mary Jaksch
What is the key to living a happier life?
Stop thinking about your happiness and start living it. Most of our unhappy thoughts derive from what happened “back then” and what might happen “if and when.” Rather than living through the past and the future find your moment Right Now and embrace it. You’ll discover a deeper level of happiness and more of it.	What makes life sizzle is when we find and pursue our passion.
To you, what is the meaning / purpose of life?
To discover your own inner light and let it shine brightly.	The purpose of my life is to be insanely useful. I told my partner David and he says I already fulfill the first part.
What advice would you give someone who is depressed on turning their life around?
There isn’t space to really go into this, but briefly: let go of your attachment to a negative self image, be aware of self-talk, let yourself feel what you are feeling, force yourself into drastically different social environments and life experiences, and attend counselling (preferably find a Solution Focused, CBT, or Time Line Therapist). Finally, I recommend getting your hands on “The Sedona Method” CDs, or learning at least 3 Meditation techniques.	I would encourage them to try three simple but potent strategies that can reverse depression: a) Practice upright posture; b) Go for a fast 10 minute walk each day; c) Start expressive writing (keep a journal).
Which is the most important aspect of our lives that we should work on?
It’s often the aspect that brings you the greatest amount of self understanding that is the most important to focus on for you personally. Remember to take a break from treating your personal development as “work” and enjoy the unpredictability of the adventure once in a while.	What puts magic into life is tender regard. Try paying tender regard to each person before you. And to doorhandles, birdsong, the smell of fresh coffee, the ground beneath our feet, or the breath flowing in and out.
Are problems real or mind-made? Why?
How we react to our problems makes all the difference. If you react by saying “that’s a problem, we’re stuffed” then you’re blocking off all potential solutions. But begin to see your problems as opportunities and you’ll notice that every shipwreck presents a chance to search for a treasure chest of gold.	It’s too easy to say that all problems are in the mind. Tell that to someone who’s just lost their job or been diagnosed with cancer! However, we have a choice about how we respond, and we can learn to move gracefully with life’s tide.
What is your best tip for staying motivated?
Grab a pen and list your top five goals for the next 6 months with 200 words per goal on why you want to achieve it, what resources that goal will require, and what will happen once you’ve achieved it. It might sound silly, but just go with it, the more you talk about or write about your goals the more you’ll feel motivated to achieve them right now.	My strategy for staying motivated is to create rituals in order to support regular action. For example, I start my daily meditation by making a cup of tea and drinking it on my cushion. Similarly, I follow an exercise routine at the same time each day.
How can people reach a stage of feeling fulfilled?
Instead of focusing on what you want tomorrow, why not shift your concentration towards appreciating all those wonderful things you already have in your life today?	I used to think that achieving goals brings fulfillment. It’s really the opposite: we feel fulfilled when we continually pursue goals that resonate with our values.
If you could only give PluginID readers one sentence of wisdom, what would it be?
Every single moment has the potential to be a totally clean slate, a surge of potential for anything and everything that you choose to come true, if you’ll let it.	Pursue your passion and dare to dream big, but don’t forget to practice kindness every day.

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Update from Glen: Comments may take a while to approve if you haven’t left one before as I’m at a funeral today.

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Personal Development Face-Off: Round #6

Glen — Mon, 04 May 2009 10:00:08 +0000

Welcome to Round 6 of the Personal Development Face-Off and today I’m pleased to say we now have a female challenger. The only reason I’m pointing that out is because a lot of people noted there hadn’t been one in the comments for the last round.

As an added bit of fun, it would be great if you could vote for your favourite answers in the poll below. In this fourth round we have Alex Fayle and Nathalie Lussier.

Alex Fayle is known for his site, Someday Syndrome, in which he helps people cure procrastination and take action towards their dreams.

Nathalie Lussier a.k.a Billionaire Woman aims to help you find wealth not only on the outside but on the inside as well through her writing.

Questions & Answers

Alex Fayle	Nathalie Lussier
What is the key to living a happier life?
Choosing to be happy. Because happiness isn’t really quantifiable, being happy is merely deciding to be happy no matter what comes your way.	You have all the happiness and joy inside of you already, it’s just a matter of accepting where you are in life, opening up to your inner joy, and living each day in gratitude.
To you, what is the meaning / purpose of life?
I don’t believe there is any inherent meaning of life. It’s all about choice and personal integrity. If you can life with your head held high no matter what you do, then you’ve fulfilled your purpose.	To express your special gifts, and make the world a better place through service.
What advice would you give someone who is depressed on turning their life around?
Take small steps and get help. Small steps give you little victories which boost your confidence. And human beings are social creatures – surround yourself with positive supportive people who challenge you but who don’t judge you. They’ll inspire and motivate you to be the best you can be.	When everything looks at it’s worse, when you hit rock bottom, that’s when things will turn around. The best part is what comes after the storm!
Which is the most important aspect of our lives that we should work on?
Living without fear and without regret. To me a wasted life is one where on your deathbed you say: “If only I had…”	Maybe the word work doesn’t apply here, because I think we should enjoy life! Educate yourself about nutrition and what you put into your body, and from there you will be able to expand your mind as well.
Are problems real or mind-made? Why?
Both. You can only control our reactions to things, so yes problems are real and will hit you externally, but because you can control your reactions you can also create imaginary problems. The trick is to choose reactions that don’t magnify the problems.	Problems exist to help us grow. They are the pressure we need to develop into diamonds, and they help us discover who we are, and build self confidence.
What is your best tip for staying motivated?
Measuring progress in little steps instead of putting the goal up on an unreachable pedestal and letting yourself relax and have non-productive days occasionally.	Get a coach, a mastermind group, or hang out with people you want to be like who are also positive.
How can people reach a stage of feeling fulfilled?
By choosing to feel fulfilled. External things cannot fulfill you – fulfillment comes from within. As long as you live within your sense of integrity (which means acting on your dreams), you will feel fulfilled.	Being fulfilled starts from within, you cannot “reach” for it. Accepting where you are, and loving yourself and your circumstances is the first step.
If you could only give PluginID readers one sentence of wisdom, what would it be?
You are 100% responsible for your life. Choose what’s best for you and never say “someday” – if you really want something plan for it and start pursuing it now. Otherwise you’ll find yourself on your deathbed full of regrets instead of feeling peace and fulfillment.	Find your big “why”, your big purpose (it may change!) and then start taking actions into that direction, and the rest will take care of itself.

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Personal Development Face-Off: Round #5

Glen — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 10:00:56 +0000

We are now onto Round 5 of the Personal Development Face-Off and I’m sad to say that this may be one of the last ones for a while (explanation at the end). This Face-Off has became a great success with over 600 votes for the first four rounds combined.

As an added bit of fun, it would be great if you could vote for your favourite answers in the poll below. In this fourth round we have Henrik Edberg and Luciano Passuello, two of the nicest guys in the business.

Henrik Edberg is the highly creative and genuinely helpful author of Positivity Blog which has over 10,000 subscribers and is a regular read of mine.

Luciano Passuello is the blogger behind Litemind, a site that helps you use your mind more effeciently and get more power from that brain of yours.

Questions & Answers

Henrik Edberg	Luciano Passuello
What is your most effective productivity tip?
Do the most important/most uncomfortable thing first thing in the morning. Then the rest of the day will feel lighter and easier to work through.	Time boxing (setting a fixed time period to work on a task). It’s the one technique that I use every single day, and that keeps me sane and away from both perfectionism and procrastination.
To you, what is the meaning / purpose of life?
To grow. To help other people out. And also, to have fun.	To become aware. The more awareness you bring to your life (of yourself and of the world around you), the closer you’ll get to the truth and to ‘right living’. And no one can tell you what that really means — only your own awareness.
What advice would you give a shy person who wants to become confident?
Realize that other people don’t care too much about what you do or say (they are busy worrying about what people may think of them). Act as if you are confident in social situations and get experiences that proves to your mind that you don’t have to be shy and people will be nice and kind towards you most of the time.	To remind ourselves that we’re all in the same boat, and that, if you think about it, there’s really no separation between ‘we’ and ‘them’.
How would you encourage someone to stay focused on their goals?
Write them down and review that piece of paper often. It also helps to have support from other people who are focused on similar goals.	Be clear about the whys of their goals and adopt a regular review process, so that they never get them out of sight for too long.
What is the main criteria for a successful relationship?
Like yourself. Be open and clear in your communication.	The awareness of choice. Don’t take any relationship for granted, and always be conscious that everyone is free to walk out if so they like.
How can people remain financially stable in this economy?
Spend less and find ways to earn more.	By never quitting trying to find the intersection between their passion and what people are in need for.
If you could only give PluginID readers one sentence of wisdom, what would it be?
Your are responsible for your life and if you want to change something about it you have take action in a consistent way and be patient.	“You can do anything, but not everything.”
Define the reason for your success in one word.
Persistence	Practice

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The Future of the Face-Off

I like to think this has been a great success but I fear that the face-off is drawing to a close. We’ve had five rounds now which means 10 excellent minds have come together and offered some great advice. I would love to keep this going but I honestly just don’t know who to ask.

Maybe I haven’t been in this niche for very long, but it seems there are a shortage of people dedicated to writing excellent content on a regular basis, that genuinely want to help. I have emailed the likes of Steve Pavlina, Jay White (Dumb Little Man), Gina Trapani (ex-Life Hacker) and even Tina Su (ThinkSimpleNow) but some simply didn’t respond or refused to take part. That’s fair enough but I guess I expected some people to be a bit more social.

So it’s over to you guys…should I end the series here or can you recommend some people to ask to be involved. I would love to shoot Mary an email, I just don’t know who I could ‘put her up against’. Heck, maybe I’ll take part ;)

What Now?	Glen Recommends
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Personal Development Face-Off: Round 4

Glen — Mon, 13 Apr 2009 10:00:42 +0000

We are now onto Round 4 of the Personal Development Face-Off and I’m very excited to have two of my favourite bloggers battling it out today. This Face-Off has became a great success with over 400 votes for the first three rounds combined.

As an added bit of fun, it would be great if you could vote for your favourite answers in the poll below. In this fourth round we have Leo Babauta and Peter Clemens.

Leo Babauta is one of world’s most successful bloggers with over 100,000 subscribers to his site, Zen Habits. He’s also the author of ‘The Power of Less’, a book that focuses on productivity.

Peter Clemens is a writer for The Change Blog, and his free eBook was something I read about 4 times before I started this site. He also helped grow “Pick the Brain”, as one of the main writers.

Questions & Answers

Leo Babauta	Peter Clemens
What is your most effective productivity tip?
Work on one thing at a time. Clear away all other distractions, and just focus on one important task. Get it done, move on to the next. It’s incredibly effective.	People often confuse being busy with being productive. It’s very easy to allow secondary activities to distract from what really needs doing; don’t let this happen to you!
To you, what is the meaning / purpose of life?
I have no idea. I’m just focusing on being present, and enjoying and making the most out of each moment as it happens.	For me, it is to be happy and to make a positive contribution to the world.
What advice would you give a shy person who wants to become confident?
Start small. Start with situations that aren’t too scary, such as a gathering of family or friends you mostly know already, and start to slowly push out your envelope of comfort, talking to people you only know a little. Take small steps, and with each one, celebrate victory, and use that success to boost your confidence and take another small step.	Shyness is rooted in fear. When it comes to speaking up in a group of people or approaching someone you wish to speak to, feel the fear and do it anyway. As you practice, your confidence will grow and your shyness will disappear.
How would you encourage someone to stay focused on their goals?
Just focus on one goal at a time. Really focus on it, and be sure it’s something you are excited about and really enjoy doing. Otherwise you’ll procrastinate or quit.	I would encourage people to write down their goals (writing clarifies fuzzy thinking) and to review them on a regular basis (I review mine each Sunday).
What is the main criteria for a successful relationship?
Each person in the relationship should really want the other to be happy, and be happy himself (or herself). If you really want your partner to be happy, and aren’t just focused on your own wants and needs, the relationship is off to a great start. At the same time, you can’t totally submerge your own wants and needs for the other person – you have to be happy as an individual.	A successful relationship is one where each person enhances the life of the other in some way (eg laughter, joy, mental stimulation).
How can people remain financially stable in this economy?
Reduce your needs, and find opportunities to make money doing things that excite you. If you live in a smaller home and drive a smaller car and buy fewer things, you don’t need as much to live on. And there are millions of ways to make money, if you look for them. Find something your passionate about, and then find a way to make a living doing it.	People can remain financially stable and have peace of mind by 1) spending less than they earn (ie saving!); and 2) developing multiple streams of income.
If you could only give PluginID readers one sentence of wisdom, what would it be?
It’s from Thich Nhat Hanh: “Smile, breathe and go slowly.” In one sentence, it sums up my philosophy of life.	Take the time to define words – eg success, rich, work – for yourself, otherwise your life will be lived according to social conventions rather than on your own terms.
Define the reason for your success in one word.
Simplicity	Persistence

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What Now?	Glen Recommends
View the PluginID homepage.	Cloud Living – Make a living online
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Personal Development Face-Off: Round #3

Glen — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 10:00:45 +0000

I hope you’re all having a great Monday and are ready for Round 3 of the Personal Development Face-Off. The first round and the second round have proved to be a hit, with some great answers from all those taking part. In this round the questions have changed from the previous two which I hope you’ll like.

As an added bit of fun, it would be great if you could vote for your favourite answers in the poll below. In this third round we have Jonathan Mead and Mark Chernoff.

Jonathan Mead runs the very popular, no-nonsense blog that is Illuminated Mind. He’s also a regular blogger over at Zen Habits.

Marc Chernoff has an innate ability to write engaging post titles that deliver outstanding content on a regular basis which he shares at Marc and Angel.

Questions & Answers

Jonathan Mead	Marc Chernoff
What is your best tip for people who wish to become more motivated?
Give yourself permission to do the things you really want to do. Give yourself permission to stop everything that doesn’t make you come alive.	Try different things. Mix it up. It’ll give you fresh experiences and new perspectives, both of which keep the mind stimulated and motivated.
To you, what is the meaning / purpose of life?
To enjoy it, of course.	My primary purpose is to attain various life experiences and share them with the people I love. After all, our life’s story is simply a string of experiences. The more experiences we have, the more interesting our story gets.
Do you think it’s a good idea to have role models in our lives (and why)?
Absolutely. As long as they are chosen deliberately. Blindly idolizing celebrities and radical people, however, will only lead to more blindness.	Yes, but I also think we need to be careful how we idolize people. People are multidimensional. Just because someone is successful in one dimension of their life, doesn’t mean they are a universal success. The qualities we admire in our idols make up only a fraction of all the qualities they possess. So we need to be able to separate the qualities we idolize from the person as a whole.
How can people lead happier lives?
Listen to your heart. Remove the noise.	Be a part of something you believe in. This could be anything. People may take an active role in their local city council, find refuge in religious faith, join a social club supporting causes they believe in, or find passion in their careers. In each case the physiological outcome is the same. They engage themselves in something they strongly believe in. This engagement brings happiness and meaning into their lives.
What do you think is the biggest mistake people make when it comes to productivity?
Overengineering their systems. Geeking out and making it more of a hobby, then something with a purpose. Forgetting about the reason for being more productive, to create space.	One word: Procrastination. There are plenty of ways to sabotage your personal goals, dreams and desires. Procrastination, however, is the number one killer. Procrastinators self-destruct. They hinder their own potential by placing colossal road-blocks along the path to success. In other words, they subconsciously choose to fail.
What is the most important personal quality people should work on having?
Living deliberately	People should continuously under-sell to over-deliver. The crooked salesman constantly over-sells the capabilities of his product. He sets the bar so high that the product ends up falling short of his client’s expectations. If you want to boost your personal value, do the exact opposite. Slightly under-sell your capabilities so that you’re always able to over-deliver. It will seem to others like you’re habitually going above and beyond the call of duty.
If you were lying on your death bed right now, what message would you leave behind?
Life is a dream. Your thoughts and actions determine the course of your dreams. What kind of dream do you want to create?	Find what makes you happy and do it until you die.
Define the reason for your success in one word.
Response	Love

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What Now?	Glen Recommends
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Personal Development Face-Off: Round #2

Glen — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 10:00:07 +0000

Another Monday is upon us so it is time Round 2 of the Personal Development Face-Off. The first round was a huge success with a massive 266 votes, and thousands of visitors came to the page to view the answers.

As an added bit of fun, it would be great if you could vote for your favourite answers in the poll below. In this second round with have Albert from Urban Monk and Scott H Young.

Albert is the owner of UrbanMonk, a site which aims to help its readers in areas such as consciousness, happiness and personal power.

Scott H Young runs one of the webs most popular blogs on Personal Development, with over 7,000 subscribers he has made quite a mark for himself, and he’s only 20.

Questions & Answers

Albert	Scott H Young
What is your most effective productivity tip?
48/12 rule. Many of us try to multi-task and cruise our way through our tasks. An effective rule I’ve found is working hard – no music, no online chat, not even sipping a coffee while we work, nothing at all – just 100% dedicated work for 48 minutes. Then we spend 12 minutes relaxing. This is surprisingly much more productive than 1 hour of non-stop work with a coffee and music in the background. (I can’t remember where it was from so I can’t credit it).	Keep two lists for your daily and weekly to-do items. Don’t add extras to these lists when you finish early, but don’t subtract when you have too much. Keeping these lists skyrocketed my productivity, because it forces you to focus on manageable chunks of work.
To you, what is the meaning / purpose of life?
Becoming more conscious. Everything else falls into place from here. Happiness, inner peace, inner freedom. Many spiritual or religious goals – enlightenment, the end of suffering, etc – are in my opinion only, different ways of saying the same thing.	There are many good answers to that question. My favorite perspective at the moment is the Stoic view that virtue or excellence is the purpose of life.
What advice would you give a shy person who wants to become confident?
Feel the shyness. Sit at home, visualize yourself in a situation that makes you feel shy, and welcome the sensation. Welcome it – what does it feel like? Most emotions (shyness could possibly be mild fear) have a physical sensation. So feel it completely, and relax into it. Don’t fight it, let the sensations be there, and let it dissolve. It won’t happen overnight, but keep at it and your shyness will drop away completely. This is very different than other advice, but as a formerly shy person, I have found other external techniques only mask the insecurities and emotions that underlie these things.	Set up your life to force yourself into social interactions. Shyness and low confidence isn’t a birth defect, it’s just a muscle that hasn’t been trained.
How would you encourage someone to stay focused on their goals?
Gently and supportively. A listening ear, and some kind words. Nothing more than that, which would probably cross the line into being a busybody. If they are unmotivated, they might have a good reason for it.	Write them down. Ask yourself each day how you’ve contributed towards them. Then, ruthlessly eliminate the activities that don’t contribute.
What is the main criteria for a successful relationship?
Unconditional Respect for both parties. Letting them be exactly the way they are, without trying to change or manipulate them. Recognising their beliefs, emotions, and behaviours, who they are, with respect – even if it makes us uncomfortable. But not at the cost of our own self-respect, or safety.	Trust
How can people remain financially stable in this economy?
No idea! I’m rubbish with money	Give value back to society. A bad economy eliminates a lot of the people who were making money without contributing much value. If you’re contributing a meaningful service to the world, and you have the skills to turn that contribution into income, then a bad economy shouldn’t have a major impact on your financial life.
If you could only share readers once sentence of wisdom, what would it be?
Become more conscious, more aware of yourself. Other things will fall into place, I believe.	Savor everything life gives you.
Define the reason for your success in one word.
Success? What? I define success a bit differently than society, I guess. I feel I have grown to become more emotionally mature, more at peace, more forgiving, more accepting of other people – and all that contributes to my inner peace. I’ve still some way to go, but I am happy with what I’ve accomplished in this regard, even though it’s purely an inner experience.	Attitude

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Personal Development Face-Off: Round #1

Glen — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 10:00:32 +0000

Today I’m very happy to introduce the first ever ‘Personal Development Face-Off’. The idea of this series is to pick the brains of some of the most knowledgeable figures in the personal development industry and see what they have to say.

As an added bit of fun, it would be great if you could vote for your favourite answers in the poll below. In this first round (with many more to come) we have Alex Shalman and Tim Brownson.

First of all, I have to thank Daniel from DailyBlogTips for the inspiration to run this series. I’ve been in touch with a large number of people in the industry so this could turn out to be a great source of fresh, useful and practical advice.

Alex Shalman runs one of the web’s most popular personal development blogs, with almost 4,000 subscribers and hundreds of articles about happiness, health, finances and more.

Tim Brownson is a Life Coach, an NLP Master Practitioner and also a certified Hypnotherapist. Tim, like Alex, also creates some excellent videos that I have found invaluable.

Questions & Answers

Alex Shalman	Tim Brownson
What is your most effective productivity tip?
Many people get caught up in urgent, yet mundane tasks, such as filing, answering e-mails, going to meetings, and cranking widgets. Spend less time cranking widgets, and spend more time doing tasks that will get you closer to completing projects and to accomplishing your life goals.	To spend 10 or 15 minutes at the end of the work day thinking about what I want to get done the following day, and then writing it down. Also keeping a pen and pad handy if I think of anything during the night.
To you, what is the meaning / purpose of life?
Life is a game, and as such, we need to know the rules in order to be successful. To learn, we must be students of life, and we must constantly seek new challenges to keep the game of life fun.	To live in alignment with your values, do no harm and leave a positive legacy in whatever forms that takes for you.
What advice would you give a shy person who wants to become confident?
The difference between shy and confident is a simple paradigm shift, and to know the big cosmic goal. While you’re running around worrying about what other people think of you, they’re running around scared about what people think of them.	Firstly, I’d need to be sure they wanted to change and didn’t just think they should change. Then I’d recommend they hire a great NLP guy and work on the sub modalities of the shyness. In other words, how are they coding social situations that cause shyness at a representational level (what do they see, hear, taste, smell, feel etc). Is confidence the opposite of shyness though? There are some very shy people that are confident in themselves.
How would you encourage someone to stay focused on their goals?
Make very sure that you really want to accomplish these goals for yourself. Start thinking backwards from the time you intend to accomplish the goal, to the present moment, slowly mapping out which milestones you need to reach by a certain time. Discipline yourself to meet each small milestone.	Understand their values first and foremost and make sure the goals sit within their value framework because if they don’t any advice is useless. Will power is a myth, they need motivation. Forget about money, forget about material stuff, what does achieving that goal REALLY give them? That is the thing they want to be thinking of when times get tough.
What is the main criteria for a successful relationship?
There are two. You must be kind (and everything that goes with that such as taking care of each other, being giving, being a good listener) and you must have life goals that are not contrary to each other (such as knowing what kind of lifestyle you both expect, where you will live, how much time you will devote to family, how many kids you will have).	Compromise and a willingness to accept that you can be wrong even when you’re right.
How can people remain financially stable in this economy?
By living below their means, by concentrating on creating value instead of chasing money, and by realizing that it’s better to work for your own profit (be your own boss) instead of trading time for money (earning your boss a fortune).	Spend less than they earn.
If you could only share readers once sentence of wisdom, what would it be?
You are the creator of your reality, despite uncertain events, and as such it is important for you to take responsibility, define the path you would love to pursue, and throw yourself into it passionately.	Practice peace of mind, everything else will follow naturally if you have that.
Define the reason for your success in one word.
Growth	Belief

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Update: Voting is now closed, congratulations to Alex

What Now?	Glen Recommends
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Learn more about the author.	Zen to Done – Increase your productivity
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