Why? I believe in becoming a complete human being. One that has strengths in every area, and weaknesses in as few as possible.

Becoming a complete human is the end of all self-improvement. It is the goal that we are always striving for – to become a balanced, good person across every aspect of our lives. A true jack-of-all-trades or the archetypal Renaissance man is what I’ve tried to become – and I think everyone in the self-improvement game will trend towards becoming one themselves. It’s part of the natural process.

Becoming a complete human being requires being very good in every ‘sphere’ of life – it requires having integrity and being an honest person; having diverse knowledge of a wide range of subjects; being in excellent shape; having solid relationships with yourself, family, and friends; having a career that you enjoy; having hobbies and skills that you practice regularly and are competent at; and being able to maintain a life of balance.

I don’t think that there can be anything more rewarding than becoming a complete human being. Being the total package allows you to have the broadest experience of life possible – something I think is very valuable. Being complete also makes you a very strong, competent individual – being so good in every part of your life will prevent a total breakdown should something go wrong in one part of your life. In essence, your mental well-being is not predicated upon just one ‘sphere’ of your life – rather, it is broken up into every part of your life, leading to flexibility and mental fortitude.

Let’s break all the different spheres of living down, one by one.

Having Integrity

Having integrity, as I’ve said before, is the foundation of living a good life.

Building integrity is like building trust: it takes a long time to make, and a very short time to lose.

It requires total honesty in action – doing what you truly want to do – and a belief in yourself that transcends the opinions of any other person.

How to build integrity, you ask? Just act on what you believe in, over and over again, every day. Give yourself credit for your effort, rather than the results of your effort. Your effort is under your control, the results are not.

Be gentle with yourself, but give yourself a kick in the pants when you know you’re not following your values. Be a kind master over yourself – how you talk to (and perceive) yourself will ultimately be reflected in your actions.

If you do the right thing, over and over again – being true to yourself, not caring what people think, not being torn by emotion – you will see your self-trust and personal integrity rise. It takes the cumulative effect of days’ and days’ worth of effort, but the kind of internal satisfaction you get from being a person of integrity and honesty is simply unparalleled.

Cultivating a Knowledge Base

It’s not my intention for people to read this post and say to themselves, “Alright, I have to have diverse knowledge of a wide range of subjects. So… Uh… I guess I’m gonna go read like 10 random articles from Wikipedia per day, so I know lots of stuff! Yeah!”

Uh… No.

A true Renaissance Man would not acquire knowledge just for the sake of it – they would be propelled by their own curiosity and interest in the subjects that they’d study.

Let’s face it: you’re never going to know everything. So stick to the subjects that you’re genuinely interested in – something that you’re naturally curious about.

For me, I’m a history, psychology, business, tech and sports geek, so I read a lot on those subjects. I love all of them for different reasons – for example, I love finding out why people do what they do, so psychology is a natural fit for me. But I also like seeing how different courses of action can, over the course of years and decades, change society, so I like history (and especially biographies of historical figures). The list goes on and on.

So, what’s the best route to develop a wide base of knowledge? Ask yourself – what would I like to know more about? Write down the various subjects on a piece of paper. After that, go on Amazon and buy some of the top-rated books on that subject. You don’t have to buy academic texts or anything like that – something that’s popular will usually give you a good enough introduction of the subject, and you can decide from there whether you’d like to learn even more about it.

That’s when you can check out blogs (there are blogs on everything out there), forums, other books, and so on, continually learning more and more.

This is organic, natural learning, driven by curiosity rather than external compulsion.

Don’t learn more because I told you to. Learn more because you want to.

Handling Health

Health is way too complex for me to break down, so I’ll give you a few tips to get you started:

1. Buy organic. I’m not going to tell you to eat raw, but eating organic food more often has definitely improved my health, and others’ as well. The less preservatives and pesticides that you ingest, the better. Trust me.

2. Exercise often – or, better yet, play a sport. You don’t want to be worrying about hypertension, blood clots, and heart disease when you get older, do you? Staying in good cardiovascular shape will make your heart stronger, keep your arteries free of plaques, and lower your blood pressure. Oh, and exercise releases endorphins, which make you feel happy.

3. Drink nothing but water. Feel free to indulge in something else from time to time, but the main liquid that you should be putting in your body is water. I routinely drink upwards of 6 liters per day – your mileage may vary. You weren’t made to be drinking fruit juice, soda, and all that other junk. Your body needs water.

4. Get enough sleep. You can play around with polyphasic sleeping if you want (I am doing a bi-phasic schedule right now), but the bottom line is this: get enough so you can feel your best from the time you wake up ’til the time you go to bed.

5. Eat “good” fats. Avoid fast food and overly fatty foods (but meat’s fine). Incorporating good fats from things like olive oil and nuts (especially from almonds and walnuts) help stabilize blood sugar levels, allowing you to have a more consistent energy level throughout the day. Also, nuts make for a great healthy snack that keep hunger away for hours. As a caveat: make sure you eat them raw – you don’t want all the salt from the salted nuts. You can buy raw nuts in bulk at your grocery store for much lower prices, so everyone wins there.

6. Supplement intelligently. Avoid destructive supplements (I’m looking at you, creatine – and yes, I’m aware it’s safe when done right) while supplementing with things that help you. I’m a big proponent of vitamin B complexes for increasing focus and improving brain function, as well as a good antioxidant supplement that includes vitamins A, C, and E, as well as selenium. However – don’t buy these based on my recommendation. Check with your doctor first.

This barely scratches the surface, but I recommend picking up Tim Ferriss’s book The Four Hour Body for other quick tips that can change your health – and your life. There’s something in there for everyone.

Creating Good Relationships

As far as treating yourself goes – never say anything to yourself that you would never tolerate from someone else. Be kind to yourself, as I stated in the section on integrity. This simple rule will make your relationship with yourself much, much better.

When it comes to building relationships with others, here are a few simple rules:

1. Your input = your output: If you put little to no effort or energy into developing the relationship, you won’t be able to develop a strong relationship. If you talk with people often, do things with them, and just have fun in their presence, the relationship will grow in strength over time. Don’t expect to talk to someone once or twice and expect them to think of you as a great friend – great relationships take time to develop.

2. Be a great listener: If you’re good at listening to others, you’ll become much better at relating to them, which means that you’ll have a stronger relationship faster. Being a great listener also helps you build trust, which is my next point…

3. Be trustworthy: If you can be the type of person that’s like a Swiss Bank account (virtually impenetrable) for your friends’ secrets, then your friends will sense this and will trust you so much more as a result. I’ve been burned on this before over things I didn’t know were secrets, so if your friend is telling you anything sensitive, I urge you to ask them whether the things they’ve told you should considered confidential. It’ll save your relationships. Trust takes a long time to build up and a long time to lose.

4. Find the good in others – and put a spotlight on it: If you become good at finding out the best attributes of others’ personalities and making them show it, you will become a social dynamo. It’s difficult to do, but if you master the art of reading people and truly understanding their personalities, you will make them feel very good and at ease around you. Listening to your friends allows you to do this – if you know Jesse makes killer deadpan jokes, set him up for some by including threads he can use in your conversation. If you know Clara is quiet normally, but becomes really outspoken and excited whenever discussion revolves around music, make an effort to talk about music when you’re out with her. It’s all about listening to the emotions running under people’s words, and if you can make them feel good around you, they’ll love you for it. Of course – don’t do this in a manipulative way, but do it because you want to see them happy. However…

5. Make your needs clear: If you don’t make your needs clear in the relationship, then you’re bound to be let down. People will take whatever you’re giving them without giving much in return sometimes, and only you have the power to call them out on it and say that they need to invest some more effort into your relationship. If they refuse, then you’ll realize that they weren’t really a good friend to begin with.

Having a Career You Enjoy

I don’t have many tips here, as I don’t really have much of a career to speak of and it’d be wrong of me to suggest anything that has never worked for me.

However, there are a few things that I believe:

• Life is too short to have a job you hate;
• You should be doing work that you find personally fulfilling;
• You can “do” more than one thing and switch careers, no matter how old you are;
• “Job security” is a sham and risk is everywhere, no matter what industry you’re in;
• Entrepreneurship is a great route for those who are very independent, driven, and have a creative vision that they need to fulfill;
• There are plenty of ways to make money – even on the side.

Overall, I’m a little out of my depth here, but there are a few blogs I can recommend for finding your passion, making money, and keeping more of it: Ramit Sethi at I Will Teach You To Be Rich, Neil Patel at Quick Sprout, Pam Slim from Escape From Cubicle Nation, and Dave Garland of The Rise to the Top are all fantastic resources.

Hobbies and Skills

This is probably the easiest section for people to get handled.

I think that having a ‘craft’ from outside of your work that you can get better at over time and practice as a way to relax (and develop mastery) is necessary. Having at least one of those things on top of your other obligations as an aspiring Renaissance Man is incredibly useful – you get to track your progress over time, which is immensely rewarding, and it serves as a constructive break from the rest of the world.

Even picking up a new hobby from scratch, with no prior experience, is something that can transform your life for the better. Don’t be afraid of being bad when you start – everyone is. Instead, embrace the opportunity to learn and to make yourself into a master at whatever you decide you’re going to do.

Need a hobby? How about: martial arts, photography, painting, drawing, any sport, mountain biking, hiking, rock climbing, logic puzzles (Sudoku/Kakuro), watching movies, writing, any musical instrument, (break)dancing, skiing/snowboarding, gardening, cooking, building stuff (whatever you can think of!), woodworking, sailing, singing, knitting, sewing, and magic tricks? Pick one. Or you can always google something like ‘hobbies’ and find something that meets your desire.

Maintaining Balance

The really difficult part about becoming a complete human is living a life of balance – making sure all the components of being that complete person can coexist in your life.

I’ll admit: I’m not a very balanced person by nature. I like diving into things headfirst and immersing myself in projects for long periods of time, then becoming more extroverted and being social while I ‘recharge’, then going back to work.

The key that I’m finding is creating habits that reinforce your Renaissance Man “training” is the easiest way to maintain a life of balance.

That is, you have to “schedule” your time to develop your relationships, the time that you’re going to develop your knowledge base, and so on.

If you make inviolable times during your week to do these things, over time, balance will become a habit.

Since this is a little abstract, here’s an example: let’s say that, every day, work effectively takes up my free time until 6 pm, and my “real” free time falls from 6:30 to 10:30 P.M.

Every Monday and Wednesday night, I’m going to devote 3 of those 4 hours to learning and one hour doing whatever I want to do.

Every Thursday night and Friday evening, I’m going to devote my time to my skills and hobbies.

Every Friday night and Saturday afternoon/evening, I’m going to go out with my friends, and I’ll chat with them as part of my free time during the week.

Every Sunday, I’m going to do whatever I want to do, for the entire day. The only rule is I can’t think about work, and I have to be doing something I enjoy.

All the while, I’m going to be eating well and getting my sleep.

To stay in shape, I’m going to go on runs every Monday and Friday morning, while I hit the gym on Tuesday and Thursday nights.

If you hold up this schedule for about a month, it’ll become a habit, and you’ll have no problem whatsoever maintaining your balance. The key is to let yourself break your own rules a little bit, but not so much that you throw your life out of balance for anything short of an emergency.

However – sometimes, balance isn’t necessary and can actually harm you. For reasons why imbalance might actually be the answer, check out this post from Jonathan Mead.

Action Steps

They’re everywhere in this post – close your eyes, scroll up, stop, and open your eyes. Look! Action steps!

What do you think about becoming a “complete human”? Is it a flight of fancy? Or something we all should aspire to be? Is becoming a jack-of-all-trades viable in an economy where specialists are becoming more and more important?

I’m giving myself a chance to recharge my batteries after an incredible year – so I can make 2011 even better.

This post isn’t a how-to guide on planning your year – if you want something like that, I highly recommend checking out this post by Chris Guillebeau.

This post will, instead, be a reflection on the things I’m going to do this year, particularly around PluginID.

But First… My Top 10 Revelations From 2010

I don’t think I need to explain these in detail – they speak for themselves.

1. The only constant in life is you. Love yourself.
2. There’s lots of “noise” on the Internet. You’ll be fine if you get rid of it. Trust me.
3. Fail often.
4. No matter what happens to you, you’ll always feel “normal”. Realize that.
5. The desire for something feels better than actually having it. Similarly, the fear of something feels worse than what would happen if it came true.
6. Your time is incredibly valuable. Don’t throw it away – use it for something you want to do (note: using it to do nothing and relax is acceptable – as long as you actually want to do nothing)
7. Try your best in all things – raise your standards to another level, and watch your performance skyrocket.
8. Don’t tolerate behavior from others that you wouldn’t tolerate from yourself; don’t tolerate behavior from yourself that you wouldn’t tolerate from others.
9. Your health is your most valuable possession. Keep it in the best condition possible. No excuses.
10. Failing to plan is planning to fail. A task becomes a lot less scary when you break it up into manageable parts.

2011 – The Biggest Year for PluginID Yet

I’m in an interesting position, looking back on all of this.

In the past year, PluginID has had 3 different people write for it. A lot of the community has changed, especially when I’m comparing the “Glen-era” to now. It isn’t necessarily a bad thing that so many active commenters have left; all I have to do is start bringing my own style to the site and a bigger community will form.

In fact, I’m not even going to try and “grow” PluginID. I can’t control how many people subscribe. All I can do is change the quality of the content I’m producing – and, to be frank, I really have to step it up.

In 2011, I’m going to make a commitment to only post my very best material – the ones where I know I’m providing tons of value. Every other idea is going to wait until I’ve fleshed it out enough to be considered worthy of a post. Often, after sitting on an idea for a couple months, it ends up “growing” and taking over my mind. Those are the types of things that I want to post – not some empty drivel that you could get off of any self-improvement site.

I want to make the advice here more unique. So much of my content seems like it could be taken from other sites, because, really – it can. All the cliches are going to go away, and fresh, new ideas are going to take center stage. If something that I’m going to write about has been adequately explained by someone else, I’ll throw out the idea and give that person the credit they deserve. I don’t want anyone accusing me of running a “cookie-cutter self-development blog” – I want my own voice, and my own unique take on things that some people might not even touch.

That means that a lot of questions and a lot of personal experiments are going to happen. Glen was a fan of little challenges – I’m going to do the same. Except they’re going to be much more practical – his were abstract in a lot of ways, and that lowered the effectiveness of his methods. This will be in combination with a near-obsessive quest to track every single thing that I do – I’m going to put in a system where I’ll attempt to track the most important metrics that will determine how well I do things, how well I feel, and how much energy I have, among other things. The goal will be to maximize my mood, energy, and productivity on a daily basis, instead of having one really awesome day of pure productivity, then two weeks of mediocre performance.

If posting better content and coming up with more unique and effective personal challenges means that I’m going to post more erratically, so be it. I certainly don’t think my readers will lose interest if I go without posting for a week because I’m working on something that’s going to rock their socks off. The quality and impact of my work will now be paramount, and the schedule – it can go to hell. Granted, to start, I’ll try to fit things in on the usual Tuesday/Thursday schedule, but I’m saying this so I have the leeway to eschew the schedule in favor of random posts.

Video is going to be a lot more consistent – it’s a pain to upload and manage, but I’ll do it for my readers. What I really have to get better at is getting my posts prepared earlier – often I write it, edit it, and publish it on the same day (I’m guilty of that on this post as well).

I’m also going to guest post at a lot of different places – hopefully places where the readership overlaps the least so I can pull in a bigger amount of new readers. At the very least, I’d like to see more community engagement, but I’d prefer that happen organically.

Whatever happens in 2011, I want it to be bigger and better than 2010.

Wishing won’t make it happen – only my action will.

Is there anything you’d like to see from PluginID in 2011 that I haven’t done? Is there anything you don’t want to see? Let me know in the comments.

I had a lot of fun doing thing and I hope it’s rewarding for you all. I loved a lot of the questions and I’m planning on doing this again sometime in the relatively near future, so you readers who missed out on submitting a question will be able to ask me some questions of your own. And, of course, if you asked a question this time, you’ll be able to again!

Let’s cut to the quick and get down to business – this post is gigantic (over 5000 words):

The Answers

[Note: I edited some of the questions for grammar and clarity while preserving their meaning.]

Question:How do you reach people you’ve been reading for over a several years when you want to hear their ideas on some new stuff you are doing?

My answer:: Send them an email and try to make it seem non-spammy. Make sure the email is short, concise, and readable, so they can read and reply with the least effort possible. Make it easy for them to understand where you’re coming from.

Sometimes, they just won’t reply. It happens. I haven’t gotten replies from dozen of emails I’ve sent out regarding my personal projects, but I haven’t really let that stop me.

Remember: your opinion about your own work matters the most, not the people you look up to’s opinion. Take heart and do what you want, no matter what they think.

Question:What are the 3 most influential books you have read that have changed your life?

My Answer: The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand was the book that got me interested in the philosophy of living (also known as self-development). It changed so much for me. After that, I’d have to say Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now and Marcus Aurelius’s Meditations have profoundly impacted me and my way of thinking.

Question:What are the top 3 things you have done in your life that have pushed you to become the person you are today? Do you think those 3 things will play an important role in shaping who you will become in the future)?

My Answer: First thing that happened was a giant breakup with a girlfriend (yeah, I know it’s high school drama, but it did profoundly change me) that destroyed my reputation and my self-esteem. That taught me to be very careful about who I let in my life and to never compromise my values and principles for anything.

The second thing that profoundly changed me has been my reading habits. I read a lot – probably too much for my own good. I highly recommend it as a habit that is truly indispensable – it makes you smarter, more articulate, more interesting, and much more of a ‘balanced’ person. Read some books, then read some more is my best advice.

The third thing that has changed me has been my willingness to do what I’m scared of. Often, the most important things are the things that make us scared. Do them over and over again, and, believe me, you will see improvement.

Question: But the real issue I have is feeling comfortable contributing to conversation in a constructive manner. I know that practice is key, but that is incredibly vague and semantically weak. What sort of concrete advice can you give me? I’ve been keeping up with @mnmlgeek’s tweets about tracking stuff like this, so do you have any advice about how I can track progress on constructive comments?

My Answer: Don’t even attempt to track your constructive comments and whatnot. Don’t worry about tracking “progress” – once you start making progress, it’ll be self-evident.

If you want to get better at contributing in conversation, just talk a lot more to everyone. Say hi to everyone – your friends, strangers, your teachers… Basically everyone you come into contact with. Try striking up more conversations and just talk with people, man. Get social, and you’ll end up finding your rhythm. It’ll feel really awkward for you at first, but you’ll find yourself hitting your stride soon enough.

Talking slower, smiling while talking (not talking about a giant grin, just a slight smile works for me), and talking louder all makes people want to listen to you more. Those are the best speaking tips I can give.

Question:I have really good ideas, I’m very intelligent, am quite good looking. but I keep having the feeling something is stopping me and I’m not really doing anything, out of.. fear maybe? How can I win over myself?

My Answer: I’d love to talk more about this, Jasper, but I don’t know what you’re referring to when you say you’re not ‘doing anything’, man. Once you reply with your situation I’ll edit this and give you better advice.

However, I’ll take a stab at it. Even though you’re smart and good-looking and everything else people think is great, you don’t feel like you’re great. You just feel normal, like the you you’ve always been. Just average.

The cool thing is that, no matter how “enlightened” you get, no matter how many things you accomplish, you’re always going to be you. You’re always going to feel normal. I’m going to write up a post on this later, but that’s the craziest thing about self-development. No matter how confident you get, you’re always going to feel like yourself. With this in mind, you can stop waiting for the time to come when you’re some “super-you” and start taking action, now, when you’re feeling normal. Because you’re always going to feel like that.

Let me know if this works for you!

Question:Please give some tips for breaking addiction to Internet, especially significant time wasters like Facebook and emails. I find myself distracted and unable to complete tasks in a timely manner. Any search on web invariably leads me astray.

My Answer:

1) When you start checking time wasters like Facebook, Twitter, and your email incessantly, just take a deep breath, calm yourself down, and go back to whatever you’re supposed to be doing.

2) Batch your Internet inbox (like Facebook, Twitter, email) time. Allow yourself to check it at a certain time every day for a half hour – nothing more. By batching it until the end of the day, you’ll be able to check it, but you won’t be distracting yourself from productive work.

Questions:

1) How do you get out of a motivation slump?

2) How do you stay disciplined and focused when you have a bad day?

3) How do you create new habits without forgetting about them 5-6 days after starting them?

4) And one last question: Your top 10 books. Fiction and Non-Fiction

My Answers:

1) I usually take a day off to clear my head if I’m not doing well. I also reevaluate my priorities – whether the work that I’m attempting actually matters or not. There’s nothing more damaging to my motivation than doing things that have no purpose or meaning to them.

2) I ask myself, “Does what I have planned REALLY need to get done today? If the answer is yes, then I meditate for a bit, and prepare myself to push through my work. I turn my mind into overdrive – Super Getting Things Done mode, as I like to call it. Once everything’s done, I relax and meditate some more.

If the answer is no, then I take the day off to rest and straighten out my head. There’s no need to force the work – I don’t want my bad day rubbing off on my work if it really doesn’t need to get done.

3) Schedule them on your to-do list every day for a minimum of two weeks. That way, you won’t forget to implement the habit, and after the two weeks (or more) is over, you’ll have the habit ingrained, so you won’t need to write it down anymore.

4) Top 10 Fiction (in no particular order): The Count of Monte Cristo – Alexandre Dumas, The Brothers Karamazov – Fyodor Dostoevsky, Lés Miserables – Victor Hugo, David Copperfield – Charles Dickens, The Fountainhead – Ayn Rand, The Magus – John Fowles, 1984 – George Orwell, Cat’s Cradle – Kurt Vonnegut, and Gravity’s Rainbow – Thomas Pynchon.

Top 10 Non-Fiction (in no particular order): Linchpin – Seth Godin, The Power of Now – Eckhart Tolle, Meditations – Marcus Aurelius, Alexander Hamilton – Ron Chernow (awesome, awesome biography), Psycho-Cybernetics – Maxwell Maltz, On Liberty – John Stuart Mill, The Selfish Gene – Richard Dawkins, The Bhagavad Gita, The Power of Myth – Joseph Campbell with Bill Moyers, Drive, Daniel Pink.

Question:Were/are you worried that someone would ask you something you wouldn’t want to answer?

My Answer: Surprisingly, not at all. I trust my readers.

Question:I think I suffer from SAD (social anxiety disorder), I am terrified at the thought of speaking or performing in public, and lately I even find it difficult to drink in front of other people, my hand starts to shake. What do you advise me to do?

My Answer: Definitely seek professional help, man. Get a therapist and talk about your anxieties. They’re paid to help you and are professionals in the field. I’m not.

Questions:

1) Do you ever feel that people will think you are young and naive to be as optimistic as you are because of your age?

2) I’ve been following this blog since Glen was writing, then he passed the torch, and then that person passed the torch – I think you may be the fourth person deep. anyway, do you guys get any compensation for writing these posts? Why did the first 3 guys pass the buck?

3) What’s your take on having a successful job, great education, loving family, good friends, but still single because you havent met the right person – all while majority of your friends are married with kids. Do you think being in a relationship would help define / complete a person? Or is it a void that needs to be filled.

4) How would you go about coaching someone to discover new hobbies – I feel like I’m the star of Groundhog Day.

5) If you realized that when hanging with majority of you friends it always revolved around drinking – would you steer clear of them? What the heck else is there to do with friends other than eat and/or drink?

6) I dont think you’ve told us much about you – how old are you? Where do you live? Girlfriend? Where do you go to school? What is your major? What do you do on the weekdays/ends for fun? Are you an entrepreneur? What businesses have you started – were they successful/failures?

My Answers:

1) Absolutely. Age bias is everywhere!

2) Glen wanted to cut down on the number of projects he had and PluginID consumed too much of his time, so he let Bud become the next writer. Bud then started to write and then began to burn out – he told me his heart really wasn’t in it, so he wanted me to take over. So I’m the third writer… And I don’t plan on passing the buck any time soon.

And, yes, we do get paid for the posts we write here.

3) It’s fine to do all of those and still be single. Seriously. Don’t worry about what your friends are doing – don’t feel pressured to go get hitched just because that’s what your friends are.

As far as a relationship defining or completing a person? If it does, it’s bad news. You should feel whole on your own, and then get into a relationship with someone who feels just as whole and alive on their own. That way, the relationship is awesome. I don’t think there is a void that has to be filled. Great question though!

4) For starters, take up a martial art (even if you have to teach yourself!), and read one book a week, no excuses. Also check out yoga at the beginning. Once you’ve done that, try playing a new sport. After that, start creating things in your spare time – whatever your heart desires.

After enough experimentation, you’ll find something you like. Just try a lot of new things and you’ll get there.

5) It depends how much your friends drink and what you guys do together. If they just drink to get drunk every night, and you don’t like it, say something about it and make some suggestions for other things to do. If you go to bars and clubs and don’t like doing that, for example, suggest other places to go out.

If you’re a light/non-drinker and your friends aren’t cool with that, you’re going to need to find new friends. Luckily, with the new hobbies you’re going to be picking up, you should find friends that you can do those things with, instead of just drinking and eating.

6) I told quite a bit about myself on the about page. Oh, and I’m single. I started a non-profit group with a few friends over the summer, and plan on building businesses as soon as I ship out to college.

Questions:

1) Do you think Life and this Earthly Reality, ie: our human’s purpose and life, mostly only revolve around money?
or is there actually a higher purpose than it?

2) Do you think Life is really, truly *worth* living, even if amidst all the pains and sufferings and problems?

3. What do you think is truly our (each of us) purpose for LIVING, only to die and become non-existent eventually?

My Answers:

1) Our purpose shouldn’t revolve around money. Money is only a means to an end. As far as a higher purpose… see my answer to #3

2) Absolutely. It’s totally worth it. Without the suffering, it wouldn’t be as good. However, we’re very, very lucky – for millions of people around the world, life simply isn’t worth living, and I find that incredibly sad.

3) Our purpose – is to have as much fun and enjoyment of life as possible. It sounds simplistic, but that’s what I truly believe. Doing whatever truly makes you happy, without hurting others, is our purpose.

Of course, helping others reach their purpose – through helping them enjoy life in whatever way we can – is a huge focus as well.

However, I don’t think that there is such thing as a “universal purpose” for life. It only has the meaning that we give to it.

Question:

1) The first one, and the one I’m most desperately seeking an answer for, is about breaking free of one’s comfort zone. I’m in my mid 20′s, and until the past year or so, I was quite content with the lifestyle I was living. That’s no longer the case, however, and I’m failing miserably at making any sort of progress toward changing that. In order to move forward, I need to find a way to clear my mind of years of conditioning about how things “should be done” and break out of my comfort zone. The fear of stepping outside those boundaries is so strong that every time I even think about trying something new, fear takes over and feels almost like it’s physically holding me back. How should I go about pushing that aside and allowing myself to experience new things?

2) My second question is about meeting people who are driven to succeed. Almost all of my friends are in the same situation with their lives as I am, and being around so many people who just “go with the flow” of things isn’t helping me build my ideal lifestyle any faster. What’s the best way to meet more people who truly know what they want in life and are giving it their all to get there? Should I feel bad about trying to find and develop relationships with these types of people in hopes that some of their passion might rub off on me?

My Answers:

1) Start meditating daily. Sit down, and don’t think for 20 minutes. Observe your thoughts; do not judge them. That will help you unravel a lot of your conditioning.

I hate to tell you this, but the only way to beat the fear is to to just do it. Whenever you feel that fear paralyzing you, act. Brute force and practice will make you better at breaking through your comfort zone.

2) The best way to meet people? Ask yourself, “Where would ambitious, driven people go to meet up?” and try and meet them. Also, talking to people at places like coffeeshops and bookstores is a great way to meet people.

And, no, it’s actually great that you want to meet new people who are more in line with your values. Don’t feel bad about it at all!

Question: Which is more important: talent or a good personality?

My Answer: Both. Well, really, a good personality is more important. “Talent” can be acquired by plenty of hard work, but people usually don’t change their personalities much.

Questions:

1) What is the best goal one can have for life? (I think riches or fame are no worthy goals as they do not give you lasting happiness. What is your opinion on the same?)

2) What is your opinion about self-love? How important is it in life? In terms of attracting love and happiness?

My Answers:

1) Total inner peace and being an embodiment of good, rational values. If you follow your values and have peace in every step of your life… I think I’d go as far as to call it “enlightenment”.

2) It’s necessary, but be careful that self-love doesn’t become narcissistic. Instead, treat it like self-acceptance. Know that you’ll always love you wherever you go, and you’re fine. A person with self-love often attracts what they are – other people with self-love. Being satisfied with yourself also leads to internal happiness, yes.

Question:

When someone has helped you financially and then, to your surprise, you later find out they expect to run your life, what do you do?

My Answer:

Tell them to stop and stop giving them the power to run your life. Take it back for yourself, and cut them out in the best way possible if you have to. If they persist, definitely cut any and all contact with them.

Question:

If you were an artist and you wanted to sell your work online and blog about it but also not come across as just wanting to sell your stuff. How would you go about it?

My Answer:

Talk about the creative process that goes into your works – how do you approach each piece? How do you view art as an expression of your personality? What do you try and communicate when you sit down and decide to create art? What inspires you? Answer those in blog posts.

Question:

I am 17 and a student, I was just wondering if you could give me some inspiration to study, because all I seem to do is spend all night on Facebook, and when I gave up Facebook I spent the whole evening watching the television (which I rarely do, because I am on Facebook all day). The thing is I know I’m bright and that I could do amazing in my exams this Summer if I only studied, but I just can’t do it! It’s so frustrating.

My Answer:

Use a program like Rescue Time or Freedom to curb your Facebook use and make yourself focus on studying.

Often, the hardest part of doing something you don’t want to do (like studying!) is just starting. Try to start studying as a nice first step towards creating the habit.

Give yourself lots of breaks – in fact, this will help you in studying, since your brain remembers the beginnings and ends of presentations/readings/etc. much better than the middle. Try studying for 20 minutes, give yourself a 5 minute break, then study for 20 more minutes, and so on. Letting yourself do whatever you want in those breaks also makes those 20 minute study sessions more productive.

If you don’t have to study for an extremely long period of time (as in, you don’t have to study for 3+ hours at a time), try and make the sessions as short as possible. Three cycles of the 20/10 interval I gave you should suffice on a normal study day.

Give this a try! This is what I do when I study – and, like you, I’ve always hated it.

Question:

How do you get around being lazy and sleeping too much?

My Answer:

Have a life that makes you excited to jump out of bed in the morning, do exciting things, and, please, exercise!

Question:

What would you recommend to a 40 year old embittered female with chronic health problems?

My Answer:

Seek professional help… Medically and possibly psychologically. Without more specifics, I don’t know how I can answer this much better.

Question:

Why keep doing good and get stabbed from those who I assist and also from those whom I love?

My Answer:

Because you have a good heart and can take the punishment.

Honestly, though, if you aren’t getting what you want out of a relationship – any relationship – bring up your needs with the parties in question. Let them know how the way they’re treating you is effecting you and try to work out some kind of deal with them. If they can’t meet your needs, you might need to let go of the relationship(s) in question.

Question:

…Does this sometimes chaotic style really matter or am I being pedantic [with reference to internet language]?

My Answer:

As a strict adherent to the use of proper grammar and spelling, I’m not a fan of the people who “shortcut” their speech and don’t use proper English on their blogs… I even write like this on Facebook!

Question:

What’s the importance of a mastermind in your opinion? I read a lot about it and in fact between a mentor, a coach and a mastermind group – I really do not know with what to begin and choose for the start. I am ready to pay for it – though it will take some time until I can afford a mentor or a coach – so what to choose from the start to help me keeping on track
and conceive and follow a really solid business plan so that I do not waste resources.

My Answer:

I can’t comment on the effects of a mastermind group, having never been in one myself. However, I can say that I know tons of people who are in them and they say they benefit them immensely.

I think if you want to conceive a good business plan, shell out the cash to hire a coach or someone who’s a professional in that field. Again, take my advice with a grain of salt, because I have never done such a thing.

Questions:

Now, reading your post the first 2-3 lines were covering some of the most important ones … for example the “inspiration for the low (bad) days”. I know that you should “raise” yourself and think big things about you to get out of it but … really this is it ? Is seams a little bit “plastic-y” (artificial and forced). Now, what’s your take on that?
`
Pushing yourself out of your comfort zone – so let’s say … by just applying the old “what doesn’t kill you” saying will suffice? Can I get another angle on this?

Personally I need that somebody will “watch” me all the times and give me the push to do things. Otherwise I can “trick” myself and get away with it. How can I get more self-conscious and end the things that I started ?
I REALLY have a tendency of NOT finishing what I started. In this AREA I NEED help. I need to push myself to get to the end of things.

Being superficial… it really kills me.

How can I get the power to go all the way to the bottom of ‘it’ – whatever I’m trying to do, accomplish?

And finally – live happier – this is a big thing for anybody – what I realized is if you focus on the good parts you might be able to manage it, but as a whole is pretty impossible.

My Answers:

On bad days: on my bad days, I actually tend to ask myself what’s making me feel/act poorly and I try to resolve the internal problem through releasing the emotions and meditating, as well as reminding myself of some ‘fundamental truths’ that I consider essential to personal development (like the idea that I’m enough as I am to feel happy at all times).

On pushing your comfort zone: Yup, the old saying, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” is pretty close to the ideal for pushing your comfort zone. However, I like to say, “Do whatever scares you,” because that encourages you to confront your fear, rather than doing stupid things that may harm you greatly but not kill you.

On finishing what you started: Make it a part of your identity that you finish what you start. That is, start believing that you are the type of guy who finishes what they start, by telling yourself that from now on, you’ll finish what you start. It’s pretty simple.

You clearly don’t trust yourself a whole lot, which is going to cause you problems. You don’t need anyone to watch over you. You just need to deliver on your promises. From now on, try delivering on 80% of the promises you make to yourself – that’s 4 for every 5. If you can stick to that path, you’ll be well on your way.

See, you’re looking for me to kind of “watch” you, in a way, by giving you advice on how to do it. Unfortunately, the only way for you to get things done and finish what you start is to generate that will from within, rather than relying on an outside force to coerce you to do it.

Perhaps you don’t finish what you start because what you’re doing isn’t necessary or important or anything that you truly want to do. Maybe reevaluating your wants and desires is key – start doing things you want to do, and finishing what you start will become much easier.

On being superficial: A little bit of superficiality is okay, but try to appreciate people’s personalities as well. They’re totally dynamic, man – by that I mean that they could have thousands of cool things about them that they’re waiting to share with you, but you’re not getting them because of your superficiality. Let them surprise you with their depth, and respond in kind.

Living happier: Being able to be grateful for what you have, feeling peaceful because you’re living by your principles, living the life that you want, and being willing to roll with the punches all makes happiness a lot easier to attain that most people think.

The first step is acknowledging that you don’t have to do or become anything to be happy. You can be happy right now. It’s a choice.

Question:

Moving forward-wise, I’ve always been interested in computers and computer programming, and I’ve even taken a couple of classes towards that end. I’m one exam away from being A+ certified (think PC technician), and am super-excited about this new opportunity for me and my family. The money will be decent, and the hours should be manageable, but it still feels like I haven’t completely let go of the former career path I was on for so long. I’m really trying to break free from retail, but the whole paradigm shift of my attitude is the hardest part. Any advice on changing the inside while working on the outside?

My Answer:

Get in touch with your values, and try to live by them every day. That’s the first piece of advice anyone should hear when they’re trying to make a change.

Also, if you don’t already, I highly recommend adopting a meditation practice. Just sit still and don’t think for 20 minutes per day, every day, and see what changes it brings into your life. It definitely changed mine for the better.

Explore the idea of risk and start doing new things – picking up new hobbies, meeting new people, and going different places. In short, retain the parts of yourself that you liked before the change, and change the rest to something you feel more congruent with. Really become the person you want to be, man.

Question:

I want to ask you why I have such a severe motivation problem? I can’t seems to motivate myself to do something that I know will benefit me. Like for example, I hate driving, but I have to, nobody will take me around, but doing so doesn’t make me feel good, the more I force myself to do that thing the more I hate that thing. Please help me to understand what’s wrong with me.

My Answer:

By resisting the idea of driving – telling yourself that you hate it – you end up resenting it more and not wanting to do it.

Since you’re obligated to drive, I’d say one way to cure yourself of that motivation problem is by actually telling yourself that you don’t have to drive, but you do it because you want to. It’s counterintuitive, but it works.

You want to drive because it will bring you wherever you have to go. Since you want to go there, and you must drive to get there, then you must want to drive by extension, since it’ll get you to where you have to go (sorry for the run-on sentence).

When you tell yourself that you want to do something, aren’t you motivated to do it? Yup. Problem solved – with a simple logical leap. By telling yourself you have to do it, you’re making yourself into your own slave… Which is no good.

Questions:

Thanks for taking the time to connect with your readers like this. I would like to ask for advice on my self confidence. I have trouble making friends and interacting with people in general. It feels much easier to do so on the internet than in real life. There have been various situations where I see an opportunity to go and talk to people and get to meet/know them but I always let those windows of opportunity pass. When I am with some people that I am acquainted with, I find it hard to find things to say or don’t say things when something that I can talk about does pop up in the conversation. So what are some basic steps to being more sociable and open?

Also, I am currently in university although I don’t know what I want to do. I just completed my first year there by doing a bunch of random courses. I picked maths as my major but I really don’t want to pursue that pathway. I had intended to just improve my grades and get into dentistry but I realised that that is not something I’d like to do. What should I do?

My Answers

On being sociable: realize that, no matter what people think of you, you’re going to be okay. Also, realize that there will be some people that you really ‘click’ with and have great times with, and there will be some people who really dislike you.

They key to being sociable is the willingness to connect with people to test if they’re people you click with. Quiet down your internal dialogue and say whatever’s on your mind. Seriously. Anything. Let go of the need to have super serious conversation, open your mind, and have fun with whoever you’re talking to. Just have fun, and realize there is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ response in a conversation. Let the words flow out of your mouth.

Again: just have fun and be willing to connect. Just be yourself, and talk about whatever you genuinely want to talk about.

On university: try out a lot of different things and see what you like. If you’re sure you don’t want to do maths, get out of it and try something else. You don’t want to regret not trying later in life.

Question:

What makes a company world class?

My Answer:

Great, reliable service, useful product, and ethical business practices. Well-defined brand helps a lot as well.

Question:

If you had the chance to live forever, would you take it?

My Answer:

Honestly, I don’t know. On one hand, living forever would be really awful for my relationships, but on the other hand, infinite life is very, very attractive…

Question:

Why should people listen to you if you haven’t achieved any real significant success?

My Answer:

“Real significant success” is in the eye of the beholder, to be perfectly frank. Who are we to determine what “success” is and isn’t? All I know is that I’ve succeeded with the opportunities I’ve been given so far in life.

As far as why people should listen to me – I know what the process is like. I know how a lot of people think, and I know how their beliefs may be holding them back from living a better life. I know what it’s like to suffer because of damaging thought patterns, and I know how to turn things around – information about that I’ve gained over the past 3 years is invaluable. The bottom line is, I have a lot of ideas that have worked for me and could improve people’s lives tremendously – and I’m sharing them freely here. If what I say strikes a chord with people and they want to listen to me – that’s great. If they don’t, that’s okay.

I’d like to thank everybody who participated in this post and sent me questions. I think this will become a great tradition here at PluginID!

Productivity advice? I can give that.

Some inspiration for your bad days? Yup, I can cover that.

Advice on how to expand your comfort zone, eat healthier, live happier, reduce stress? Yes, yes, yes, and… yes.

I’m here to answer anything and everything you can throw at me, even if it’s usually not what I write about on the blog.

Remember… I’m here to help in any way I can. I’m giving it away for free!

Seriously… Anything

I will answer every question that you guys give me – whether you’re asking about my birthday or even something more personal. I truly want to use this as an opportunity to connect with you guys and give you the advice you need to take yourself to the next level.

I want to see you guys grow. I want to see you guys improve.

And, if you have any questions about anything, you shouldn’t hesitate to ask me. I’m not kidding when I say that I’ll answer absolutely everything in maximum detail.

The answers to your questions will be published in 6 days – on November 30. Every question and answer will be included (unless you want to email me and keep it private between us – you can reach me at BrettPluginID [at] gmail.com).

I look forward to reading what you all are going to ask me!

Comments are now closed and your answers are posted here: You Asked, I Answered. Enjoy!