â€¦What is out of your control.
Why, then, do we spend so much time trying to do things in an effort to change what cannot be changed by us alone? Itâ€™s an exercise in futility to try to change what cannot be changed. (Note: sometimes your brain will lie to you, and things that appear to be uncontrollable or unchangeable actually can be controlled or changed. Itâ€™s a matter of discretion and being able to see the truth of the situation).
All your mental complaining about how youâ€™re not good enough or how your coworker Bert gets on your nerves so much doesnâ€™t do a thing. Itâ€™s not constructive. Itâ€™s not helping your situation in any tangible way. And it creates a pattern where you get addicted to negativity because your body actually likes when you get mad, due to the increased levels of emotional arousal. If nothing else, getting outraged about things, however small, lets you know youâ€™re still alive.
When Feeling Alive Goes Wrong
As human beings – or living organisms, really – all we are seeking out of life is to feel alive. As I said above, your negativity and your willingness to try and change things that are out of your control actually makes you feel alive – which is why you can fall into patterns of negativity so easily. Itâ€™s a tough habit to break, because without it, you wonâ€™t be able to feel that same â€œrushâ€ that you get when youâ€™re pissed off about something.
But think of how much energy youâ€™re using in order to create that rush when youâ€™re starting to get upset. All that energy had to come from somewhere, right? When youâ€™re feeling normal – not particularly excited about anything – that energy is still there, waiting for you to tap into it. You just use it when you get mad because you feel justified to use it when youâ€™re angry. How many calm angry people have you ever seen? Thatâ€™s because people feel the right to channel their energy when theyâ€™re angry. For some strange reason, they think anger gives them an excuse to become emotionally excited.
The takeaway? If youâ€™d let yourself become excited and use all that energy you have inside of you, youâ€™d be able to experience that feeling of aliveness when youâ€™re doing anything, as opposed to using it when youâ€™re pissed off and trying to change things that you simply canâ€™t control.
Imagine how much energy you waste on negativity – being offended, hurt, outraged, pissed off.
Imagine if you could use that same energy to be a more positive, creative, and upbeat person.
You can. You just have to be willing to justify using that energy for positivity instead of negativity; itâ€™s easy to get pumped up because youâ€™re hurt and you want to settle a score with someone, but itâ€™s a lot harder to excited about doing something that will actually leave a positive impact.
Donâ€™t let yourself fall into soul-sucking behavior. You only have a finite amount of energy – spend it wisely.