Create Your Own Reality in 6 Steps
Glen / 
20 Comments / 
September 15th, 2008 / 
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Do you believe that your past defines who you are as a person, or that people are born a certain way and can’t change? Do you believe that only those who are lucky can lead successful lives or that you have to accept your life situation and shouldn’t hope for more?
If so, you may be stuck in a mind-made reality that simply isn’t true. Even worse, it is probably holding you back from living your own life and creating your own reality. Thankfully, we’re going to break down all those barriers and beliefs and show how you can start living a life of your own design.
What is your reality
Your reality is based up on many things, but mainly it covers:
- The environment and culture of where you were raised
- The things that you have experienced in life
- Social conditioning and what media has led you to believe
- Feedback and advice from others that you trust
These definitely seem to be the main aspects, so what is wrong with these? In reality (no pun intended), nothing. It’s perfectly normal for all these things to shape our current reality. After-all, we are very intelligent mammals and beliefs generated through these sources are what have allowed us to survive for thousands of years.
If you don’t believe that humans can fly, and a friend tells you they can, you think they are crazy. The subject is out of your reality. However, if it is out of your reality and then you see a human fly past your window, you shatter your current reality and allow in the new beliefs. How can you not? You’ve just seen someone fly past your window. Well, actually, you still probably wouldn’t believe it. You would rub your eyes and look for rationalisations on why it happened: “They were wearing a jet-pack, yes, that’s it.
Don’t be afraid of the space between your dreams and reality. If you can dream it, you can make it so.
- Belva Davis
Be aware that we are consciously rationalising things we don’t believe so that we can allow our current reality perception to be actual. Humans flying is just one example, but how about things closer to home such as coming from a poor background and becoming a millionaire, or having no qualifications yet becoming a high-paid employee at a Fortune 500 company. Are these things out of your reality? They shouldn’t be.
Before we continue with the steps to take, I want to state something important. I honestly believe that we can create our own reality, but I don’t agree with the notion that everything we have now is through our own creation. I don’t believe that people who have struggled in life have brought all the struggles to themselves or that the likes of war victims manifested their own situations. If you don’t believe you can create your own reality, then that may simply be fear kicking in and an excuse for you not to take action in your life.
How to create your own reality
1. Realise you are not the box
I was answering questions for an interview with Jarkko Laine and I described myself as “someone who’s just realised they are not the box they thought they were trapped in”. What I meant by that is that I am not my mind. I am not the limiting beliefs that I hold and I can do anything I want.
To be more detailed, you are simply not your past and you are not your projected future. If you have been shy in the past, there is nothing stopping you from doing actions that might be perceived as confident right now. If you take confident actions, are you still a shy person? Realise that the contents of your mind are nothing but the contents of your mind, and should hold no grasp on your actions or beliefs.
This alone can lead to some wonderful things.
2. Learn to be totally present
Presence is something I was only introduced to this year and it has had a huge impact on my life. Basically, it is the understanding that psychologically, there is no such thing as past or present and NOW is the only thing that matters. As an example, think of a problem you have right now, anything that has been on your mind.
Now look at that problem and realise you have two choices, you can either accept it for what it is or you can take action. Either way, there is no reason for this ‘problem’ to take up a lot of your mind activity and in-turn a lot of energy. Now is the only thing that matters because now is all there ever is, nothing has ever happened that is not now.
Some good ways to become present include practicing meditation, focusing on your breathing and focusing on your inner energy. Really concentrate on everything around you, appreciate their silence and stillness, realise how you’ve never really ‘noticed’ the things around you before and just taken them for what they are. Being totally present is an amazing feeling and something that I want everyone to be able to experience in their life times.
Not only is it an amazing feeling but it helps to be more creative, which will definitely help for the next step.
3. Find out what it is you would love to do
Sadly, a lot of people (myself included) never work out what it is they would love to do, simply because they believe it probably wouldn’t be possible anyways. Our ‘box’ often keeps us constricted into thinking that we shouldn’t be too adventurous and should stick to the things we know and that others are just lucky to be doing what they love.
Ask yourself, if society and money were no issue, what would you do. If you could do anything in the world and could survive, what would it be? Questions like this help you connect with your core and find out what it is you are passionate about. Even if you don’t know what it is directly, connect to the things you enjoy.
For example if you are interested in music but don’t know if you want to be an artist or a producer, simply connect to your interest in music and let it take over your life. Let it emit from all parts of your being, allow music to be the essence of your life. You’ll soon discover exactly it is you want to be, and once you know this, the world truly is your oyster.
4. Map out how to get there
It is an excuse if you simply have a dream and expect ‘fate’ or some other magical force to take over your life and bring it to you. I also see it as an excuse if you simply focus your thoughts on something and expect the Law of Attraction to bring it to you. What they don’t tell you in ‘The Secret’, or at least from what I’ve seen, is that you actually have to work and go for the things you want in life.
If you want to be in the music business, look at any education or equipment you need. Take a look at the conferences and workshops happening in your areas and start to get involved. If you want to blog full-time, learn to improve your writing, look into internet marketing and start networking with others in your niche. Once you know what it is you want, what it is you love, map out a step by step plan of how you are going to get to do the things you desire, or even be the person you want to be.
Don’t let your limiting beliefs get in the way; take a positive and actual look at the steps you need to take. If you don’t know, look at successful people in your field and trace their path. Get out there in front of all the people you need to meet and see and do whatever it takes. If it’s something that you really want to do, something you love, this won’t be a problem.
5. Find others on the same path
I’ve found the best motivation and comfort in my life comes at times when I know there are others faced with the same challenges and I had others to help keep me on the right path. This was especially the case when I wanted to become a more outgoing, confident, and social person.
Go online and search for forums, social networks or even in-person groups in your area for things that you want to do. Chances are, whatever the things are that you think are stopping you (finances, background-story, education) will have been experienced and overcome by others.
The greatest benefit to finding others on the same path is that you will see people smashing their current reality. If you don’t believe what you are setting out to achieve is possible, it’s not going to be long before you give up and go back to your old ways. However, if you see others have ‘made it’ and are successful then that is going to be extra motivation and confidence that you can lead the life you want to live.
6. Imprint your creation into your life
As stated, I’ve always wanted to be a more confident and social person, I have the business and income side of my life quite sorted. For others, I’m sure earning more money and being stable will be their main goal. Hopefully, incorporating your passion into your wealth creation is another ‘main goal’. Whatever it is you want to do with your life and merge into reality, start to imprint that into your core.
There are multiple ways you can do this:
- Affirmations - each morning and night say positive messages to yourself regarding your goals
- Visionboard - I’ve found my visionboard has helped me keep a clear focus and remind me of what I’m aiming for
- Mind movies - create a video of positive images relating to your goals and include some powerful background music
Take note to perform your affirmations, stare at your visionboard or watch your mind movie on a daily basis. Once when you wake up and once when you go to sleep. This is all about imprinting these goals and this reality into your actual reality and you will literally start living and breathing the life that you want to live.
You will start to become the person you want to be and living the life you want to live, because if you don’t create your own reality, society will be happy to do it for you.
Where now?
- Remove your limitations
- Find out what it is you want to do
- Believe that you deserve everything that comes your way
- Live and breath that life, realise it is possible
- Enjoy creating and living your own reality
If you are going to be the observer in your world because you think it’s the right path for you then be the observer. Yet when you are on your death bed and look back on your life, don’t blame the limitations and acceptance of the realities of others for your own depression.
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This reminds me of a quote I posted yesterday on my blog -
“Promise me you’ll always remember: You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. Christopher Robin to Pooh” ~ A. A. Milne, creator of Winnie the Pooh
I think this fits well with how you start about our mind-made reality not being true. Especially if we don’t let our mind feed us self-limiting beliefs. So, yes, we CAN create our own reality. We can have the life we desire. And you’ve laid out some awesome steps to get us there! Thanks for putting this together!
Thanks a lot lance, and great quote to match!
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Thanks, I assume this is automated so i removed your spammy name just in case
Glen, I love your above comment. It’s easy to spot them, isn’t it?
Anyway, our lives are what we make them. Nothing more, nothing less. Thinking we can’t means we can’t. I like number five, find others on the same path. I would never have given that a thought a couple of months ago, but now I realize how easy it is to connect with other people through the internet.
Exactly, i love finding all the people who are on the same personal growth paths as myself, it is very inspiring
Number 3 is so incredibly important. If we spend too much time living in the past, we forget to live in the present. Also, just as that saying goes; if you don’t have goals, you’re destined to work for someone who does. And it’s true. Figure out what it is you can picture yourself doing, and then do it. If it doesn’t work out at first, at least you tried it to know that you don’t like it. Too many people spend the majority of their lives trying to get back what they can’t have. We must not live in the past, only learn from it so that we can plant the seeds of future success by not repeating mistakes.
Great list. i really like #1 & 2. For me, #2 took a lot longer to learn.
The only thing I would add is after #4. After you plan for your success, understand that it will take failing at that plan and re-adjusting to succeed. To many people, in mho, try to make an initial plan, only to give up when it does not work.
Try, try again, is my theory, especially if it’s something you love to do.
http://yinvsyang.com/
Thanks for the additional suggestion, I’m still working on number 2 myself. I think I’m making progress in that I’m starting to notice more and more when I’m not present.
“Sadly, a lot of people (myself included) never work out what it is they would love to do, simply because they believe it probably wouldn’t be possible anyways.”
SO TRUE.
But I think it’s getting better with each generation. People no longer feel compelled to choose the most lucrative career path. They pursue happiness instead.
I love it when people quote the lower part of an article, it gives me more hope that posts actually get read ;).
Seriously though, I completely agree with you, thanks for stopping by!
It is true that past conditioning can place limits on what we are truly capable of. We are only limited by our minds. If we can break free, we’d be surprise what possibilities the world has for us. Yes…it is better to realize it now and do something about removing limitations rather than wait before it is too late (you’ve pointed out the deathbed)!
Exactly Evelyn, glad we are on the same wave-length!
Lots of great information here. I like how you tie it all to choice. We choose how we want to perceive the world and yet too many people think that it is something beyond our control. You do a great job of explaining how to take control of and manipulate one’s own reality.
Cheers,
Alex
Thanks for the kind words and for stopping by Alex!
All of these steps are fairly easily done, yet somehow I still teeter on the edge, one foot heading where I want to go, the other planted solidly in the reality that if the mortgage doesn’t get paid, they take the house away. The dream is visualized day and night and the reality gets dealt with. Slowly day by day I shift my weight over, an ounce at a time, trying not to look down or backwards, but looking ahead, day in, day out, keeping the dream in focus and shifting the weight…
If you really want something, I believe you’ll be willing to work for it. I was doing SEO for 2 years before I started to make any decent money (learning literally 7 days per week) and now I can make quite a decent income on a brand new site.
Of course, there are ‘realities’ behind such as paying things in your current situation, but don’t use that as an excuse to hold you back if there are things you can do about it.
Map out what it is you want to do and how to get there, it won’t happen overnight but you CAN DO IT.
Number two is especially important to me. It’s the reason I like this John Denver quote so much: “The moment at hand is the only thing we really own.”
okay…i am so sick of far left/far right rhetoric… lets start thinking about where we are headed. i consider myself a conservative christian (right,centrist). I voted Republican… but my candidate lost the election. OKAY…at this point I want the President Elect to succeed. I want to see this country become the great experiment again…I’m not talking about lying down for the enemy. Its all about being American…standing up…Don’t betray your President because you hate blacks…let it go and be the man or woman that you were created to be. Don’t fall in to the traps that so many Americans have set for you…. be all that you can be…LOVE AMERICA…OR LEAVE IT !!!
Stand by your man…no more crap…be a PATRIOT…LIVE for what we are!!! Stand tall
T.R. Chavonelle