How Disaster Completely Changed My Reality

Hey Bud ,
Very interesting post. Do you the Chinese symbol for the word crisis does contains 2 letters and one of them denotes oppurnity. One should always look for all such crisis with a positive note.That is for sure .

Great post. I used to resist struggle and obstacles, I don’t anymore. The energy and effort I used to resist struggles in my life was becoming too much. Now my attitude is “whatever.” I’ve faced many tough obstacles in my life, I think I’m immune to them now.

Really moving post Bud. Thank you for sharing this with us and being a real inspiration – there is so much wisdom in this post.

Hey, Bud… great post. I was not aware of this story but I knew there was something profound about you, especially for someone so young. I lost my mom in a plane crash (in which my dad was the pilot). I was the first of my siblings to get the news and arrive on the scene. I had the rare “privilege” of being the one to tell my siblings and my dad that my mom never made it to the hospital.

She was young (53) and awesome and totally excited about her big plans to move back to Georgia, where I was living at the time. I will never forget my last phone conversation with her, “Mom… I’m kinda busy right now. You’re going to be LIVING here in two days, can we talk then?” But guess what? We couldn’t.

My life has never been the same.

@Sudeep: Hey man! Funny you mentioned that! I learned about that last year in Chinese class.

@Rebecca: Crazy how much easier life then becomes eh? Obstacles are exactly what we make them. If you give power to them you weaken yourself, however if you look at them as a chance of growth you enable yourself to rise above. Some obstacles require more courage than others but the more practice you have the better you become at dealing with them. Thanks for the comment!

@Jen: Thanks Jen! It means a lot. Glad you got a lot out of the post.

@Lisis: Ah.. My dear. Thanks for sharing that painful story. Although it must be tough I know you’ve become a better person as the result of that tragedy. In regard to losing my friend Marco, the last words I said to him were ” see you tomorrow.” I’ll be sending you an email soon.

What an inspiring post, Bud! Thank you for sharing your story.

Bud, what a story and Lisis, even a more horrible story.
I (luckily) haven’t (yet) had to cope with such losses, all my family and friends are still alive, and of course I am happy with it. So not much to say on this one, for me.

Still, this piece moved me Bud, thanks for sharing.

@Dani: Thanks Dani

Bud, wow, that was strong stuff man. Thanks for inspiring and I look forward to seeing your articles on here in the future.

Coincidence?

I have just posted video blog about being grateful no matter what happens in life, as there are enriching lessons behind each frustration, struggle and failure.
I can only agree with your post, again!

I am grateful no matter what takes place on my journey, rest is said here:
http://ivanasendecka.com/2010/01/13/no-matter-what-just-remain-grateful/

It’s usually when you read posts like the one you’ve provided here that you start to realize what are the things that you should really pay attention in life.

You never know how to appreciate something until you lose it first. I think you’ve gotten that completely at such a young age. As much as it was so painful for you to experience your close friend’s death, it was also a blessing from his end.

Your witness of that scene caused you to appreciate the most thing in all existence – life.

I think that might’ve the biggest lesson you’ll ever get from yourself, it’s not when you graduated from school, gotten a job, or even be in love with someone…it’s when you realize the true importance of life.

It is when you start to clear up your rose tinted glasses, and start viewing reality in such a just way, allowing you to realize what is important – life, and what is not – your resistance to it.

I love this post, and I love your action to share your inspiration to every one. Keep it up dude.

Best wishes,

Steven

Struggle is a part of life. I say amen to that Bud. It’s funny how tragedy can make our eyes open to see the truth.

Such an inspiring story Bud. Life can be so difficult; sometimes so hard to handle. It is so short and precious. Like Lisis, I too lost my mom a few years back and yet sometimes it seems as though it was very recent. Not a day goes by that I don’t think of her, miss her and more. My life hasn’t been the same since. I tell you what Bud, just like my mom, perhaps thinking of Marco as being a blessing in your life, be it even a short time here, can help you in some way on the hard days. Somehow, someway, the hurt will eventually subside somewhat, you’ll move on but You’ll think of him often, he is part of you.

Ah, those darn bumps in the road…
Best to you Bud and thanks for sharing your story.
(you too Glen)

I’m sorry for the loss of your friend. At 18, you’ve got a lot of life to go through, and a lot of chances to lose yourself in struggle. I am glad that you have such a good grasp of some vital lessons in life…lessons I wish I had known at 18. They will serve you well. You are an inspiration…thank you!

No matter how much we strive for happiness and enlightenment, the simple fact is that we will all struggle with things in life.

One of the best ways I’ve found of looking at it is a phrase that gets used a lot by Andy McNab in his fiction novels.

“Accept that you’re in the shit and stop feeling sorry for yourself. Once you’ve accepted the bad situation, you can more easily come up with an escape plan.”

Of course, he was talking about being captured and tortured by terrorists but the point holds true for other situations in life too.

When my Aunt died of Cancer a few years ago, I struggled to deal with it. I wallowed in the struggle and didn’t really “do” anything for a while.

Once I accepted that I was in the situation of losing a loved one, I could finally think clearly on how to resolve my issues without letting my emotions get the better of me.

There are many ways to accept the struggles you experience and finding the right one for you is a very personal thing that will take some time to figure out.

Thanks for this article, Bud. Really thought provoking. And I’m sorry for you loss.

Ian

Bud,

I wrote previously also that you have enough wisdom in a teen age. Your posts make me think how closely you watched life when I compare to myself.

I lost someone close recently too and went through a similar experience to you. It was a real jolting awake for me and I think it will be the turning point of my life. I’ve gave up alcohol at least and realised time is limited.

GREAT post! Especially from someone so young! Very profound. And to know already: “Resistance is the cause of your unhappiness.” Most people NEVER figure that out and you already know that at 18! That will take you far!

Hi Bud.

That is one tough experience you went through. I wouldn’t be able to forget it.

I like that you took it and bounced off the positive way, as opposed to going through it and then doing bad things since time left on the planet was uncertain.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel. There always is.

I can’t imagine having seen that happen to my best friend around that time.

Cool of you to put this out there.

Sorry for the loss, and the valuable less is life is sometime hard and unexpected things happen. Just keep on keeping on!

Great article, Bud!

I look forward to what else you’re going to be publishing here

Bud, I had to learn about death at a very early age, too. Fourth grade to be exact. I had a beautiful friend that I’d played with on Friday during school. We all went home for the weekend, but she didn’t get to come back on Monday. She was mistakingly shot by her brother after he’d come back from a hunting trip. That was one of the worst experiences of my young life. An experience I will never forget.

Thanks for sharing your story. It brings me back to reality again!

I really appreciated this post. I’ve had two major near death experiences, and am in the middle of getting ready for another unimaginable struggle–I’m about to have open lung surgery. I posted an amazing video a few days ago that I think you’d really like:

http://brainchocolateblog.com/2010/01/lifes-though-but-that-doesnt-have-anything-to-do-with-happiness/

I’m very highly motivated so I’m determined to recover from surgery as best and as fast as I can. It’s been difficult to find real, personal experiences in dealing with this kind of thing so as both a motivation for myself and to hopefully create something that others can use before future surgeries, I’m going to do a video blog from pre-surgery through my estimated ~2 month recovery.

“When I was just 16 years old, I witnessed my best friend die in a jet accident.” – For some reason this reminded me of Billy Joel’s ‘Only the Good Die Young’.

“This post is dedicated to my friend Marco.” – Nice job Bud. Very moving.

First and foremost, I appreciate your willingness to share this story because there are so many valuable lessons that can be learned. Acceptance is most certainly one, and I will address this in a moment, but even more apparent is the fragility of life. This past summer I lost my grandfather, who happened to have been a mentor and best friend to me as his legacy will live on forever because it has become part of who I am. This experience is one that truly opened my eyes to mortality and the importance of living each moment as if it could be your last. There is a powerful quote I would like to share which symbolizes the importance of this philosophy:

“I’ve only got a minute, just sixty seconds in it, didn’t choose it, can’t refuse it, it’s up to me to use it, DO IT NOW, DO IT NOW, DO IT NOW!”

From this moment and going forward, I encourage everyone to no longer let a day go by without telling the people in your life how much you love them; without saying thank you to everyone in your world for playing their part; and live each day in the present, as if it were just that…a gift.

I also recently published an article on the POWER OF ACCEPTANCE and how it will lead to the PATH OF ACHIEVEMENT…please feel free to read the entire article here: http://www.jaredyellin.com/2009/12/poa/

This is such a wonderful post and I feel fortunate for having the opportunity to read it…!

Bud,

So true on the part about how struggle is a part of life. Blocking it out only does more hard than good. Learning to accept it and be aware of these emotions, can only then can we change it.

I too lost my best friend on Thanksgiving 2006 and was one of the lowest times in my life. But like all struggles there comes triumph, only if you let it happen.

Tanner

My father passed away last month, and now I’m still struggling to accept it. This is the lowest moment in my life, I didn’t realize if one day I will lose him. I used to think that he would always on my side, protected me, and be my best friend. The more I struggle to forget him, the more I will remember him. I think I have to learn to accept it. You are right, the lowest moment in my life can be the great lesson for me.

Hi, just wondering what exactly do you mean by “resisting” obstacles? Does this mean being blind to them, fooling ourselves that they don’t exist? Or to basically face them head on, giving everything you got to surpass them? Or is there another way to solve problems? Please clarify.