For those of you who live on the Internet, I urge you to continue your addiction for the next 3 minutes and read this post.
Are you comfortable? Good. Let’s begin.
For so long, I thought that relationships on the Internet were an acceptable substitute for real-life relationships. No – I don’t mean that I had long-distance relationships over Skype with a girl from British Columbia, as interesting and cool as that may sound. No, I mean that I thought that all the energy I poured into blogging and building relationships here, in the digital realm, could replace the relationships that I let fail in real life.

My logic was great. Hey, on the Internet, you get to pick your friends, rather than having your friends being tied to your real-life community that is limited by age and geography. Here, I can congregate with likeminded people. Therefore, Internet relationships are far, far superior to real life relationships.
Sounds good, right? Wrong.
The Digital Age Myth
The greatest myth of our generation is that, somehow, everything about real life can be replaced digitally, except for food, water, and housing. But everything else can be replaced by electronics.
Don’t believe me?
Face-to-face conversations have been replaced by Skype.
We can relive social events by checking out pictures on Facebook. Hell, we can do everything socially with Facebook.
You can collaborate on work projects over the Internet, especially if Open Source software is your gig. Your coworkers can now live thousands of miles away and you can now work on the same project simultaneously, as if they were right next to you.
You can build your business on the Internet, selling your consulting services or whatever you can think of without ever having to meet your clients in person.
Amazon has killed shops of every kind and you can now purchase anything on the Internet… Even used things, via eBay.
You can communicate with people who have the same interests as you on any number of Internet message boards. If you’re interested in it, I guarantee that, somewhere, there’s an awesome message board for it.
And on and on we go, down the line, until every aspect of modern life is somehow captured by electronics.
However – the great myth is that we can actually replace these things. We can’t. As good as the Internet is, a Skype conversation is nowhere near as dynamic as a real, face-to-face conversation, and going on facebook and doing stuff is much worse than actually going out with your friends.
The Limitations of E-Living
The biggest problem with the Internet is this: no matter how hard you try, you can’t share an experience with someone on the Internet. You can’t. Skype conversations are not experiences, tagging people in pictures of events that already happened are not experiences, and exchanging emails with someone, no matter how much you like them, is not an experience. It’s almost as if there’s this layer that prevents us from fully accepting our exchanges on the Internet as something real, no matter how real the person on the other side of the screen might be.
Know what’s interesting? Guess what I consider to be the most fulfilling part of life?
Yep, you guessed it – sharing experiences with others. The Internet’s achilles heel is the thing that makes life wonderful. And, for that reason, you can’t depend on it to fulfill your relationships. You need to get out, cultivate real-life, awesome relationships and not sit in your cave all the time.
Though I’ve always had plenty of good relationships in my life, for the past few months I’ve put aside the digital world and really focused on building relationships in the real world, to the point where I hardly read blogs anymore, and barely ever check in on Twitter.
And you know what? I feel better than I ever did when I was fully invested in the social media and blogging business.
Don’t get me wrong. There are a ton of people who are doing really awesome work on the Internet that I love to read whenever I get a chance, like Ash Ambirge, Joel Runyon, and Colin Wright but, to be honest, my real-life obligations (and relationships!) have had such a stranglehold on my life that I’d prefer to do what has impact in my life, rather than spend time consuming blogs.
And, you know what, that’s all you should be doing too. Consume sparingly, but above all, live life in real life.
Stop Wasting Time On the Internet and Go Do Something Already!
See above. That’s all I have to say. Go fall in love, go invite your friends out, go do something. Go live. Please. Because, honestly, reading this post ain’t living, friend.

Every so often, I need to remind myself of this. I’m an introvert and being social IRL can be very draining for me, so I tend to gravitate toward internet friendships more. But it’s still important for me to share experiences in the real world with others, otherwise I start to feel too “locked inside myself”. I try to spend time with family several times a week, and reach out to friends on the weekends. When I don’t, I definitely notice a difference.
Thanks for the reminder =)
Keri,
You’re welcome
Hey Brett,
You realize that your post has a bit of an ironic feel:)
I realize that staring at the laptop screen is not real life (IF OVERDONE). But there is one thing you might want to consider. The Internet has such an enormous power in our lives, that there is not going back. The force of the Internet is stronger than any other media in history of mankind. People make a living on the Internet. People are having great conversations online. And yes, with like-minded people, who might not be available in a small village of 50 dwellers. Above all people learn on the Internet.
We live in a different world now. There is no need to go back to middle ages.
Great to connect with you.
Going for a real jog now:)
Derek – of course it has an ironic feel. And I’m not suggesting we disconnect entirely (despite the title), but I think we should spend more time developing relationships in the real life than on social media.
This all coming from a guy who just talked to his future classmates on facebook for 4 hours, haha
We all have our flaws…
Great post … you must have been reading my mind! I’ve been thinking about how I’m getting “burned out” on social media. Even though you can have 1,000 or more friends on Facebook, it can be isolating. I miss getting together with people over drinks and having a laugh.
I believe we’ve become so connected that we’ve never been more disconnected. There needs to be a balance. Social media is great for growing businesses and keeping in touch with family/friends in other states and countries, but it shouldn’t become the “be all, end all.”
Exactly. Social media is great for connecting with other people, but I think we have an obligation to invest an equal amount of time in our relationships in the real world.
As someone who has been blogging for years, I’ve seen this discussion over and over again online – and you’re right. But I don’t think the missing link is the sharing experiences.
Even though you can pick your friends on the Internet, it’s also all too easy to unfriend, close the skype chat, or not answer the email.
Internet relationships are EASY. The relationships that take work, that require compromise, those are the ones that force us to grow as people.
Britt,
You’re right. So right, that I’m not going to add anything to your comment.
Well done.