Expression Not Impression
Glen / 
50 Comments / 
June 29th, 2009 / 
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If how we live each day ultimately becomes how we live our lives, then it’s probably a good idea, now and then, to zoom in on the things we do on a daily basis. One such thing could be the actions that we take in terms of goal achievement and advancing in certain areas of our life.
In the average person, our actions are a mix of both expression and impression. Expression simply being sharing your true feelings with the world and doing things for you. Impression being changing yourself and what you do in order to get other people to like you or think highly of you in some regard.
For the first 18 years of my life, I was definitely stuck in impression mode. I would always react to the crowd and follow the trends whether it was music, fashion or hobbies. Quite simply, I rarely expressed what I wanted to do or be; I was always being someone I hoped other people would like or think more of.
When I was 17 I was featured on an Official Google Blog and referred to as ‘Dave Chambers’. This was the alias (which is completely random) I had given myself so that my friends and family couldn’t find out what I was up to online. I wasn’t doing anything dodgy; I simply didn’t want to face the potential judgements for following my passions.
Thankfully, I have moved far away from this mode. I wouldn’t say I’m completely ‘out of it,’ but I can’t even see the borders. Instead, I now spend my days expressing myself as much as possible. Some current examples of my expression include:
- Wearing the top of a sock on my wrist most days, just because I like the way it looks
- Putting my writing on-the-line on a daily basis with a website that has a picture of me and includes my full name
- Previously being obsessed with having the latest phone, and now owning one that features nothing more than a colour screen
- Only owning one item of clothing with a label, and that’s my trainers. This is not because I’m against big brands, it’s just that I don’t need the tag to feel valuable
- Joining a public speaking club not only to conquer my fears, but to share my message with another audience
- Having walked up to hundreds of women – completely sober – and said things like “Your hair is f*cking amazing” (this girl turned out to be quite famous and got me VIP in the club) or “I just came to say ‘Hi’ because you look adorable” or whatever I feel at the time. Not canned lines, just an expression of my thoughts out loud
In the last two years I have turned my life around 180 degrees and now I’m an expresser, not an impresser. And you know what; life becomes so much easier when this is the case. Life just begins to…flow. Before I get into that, I want to cover some examples of being someone who is simply self expressing rather than trying to impress.
Examples of Impression vs Expression
For those of you who are still unsure what I’m talking about or just want more clarity on the subject, the following examples (with their expression / impression counterparts) should help clear things up.
Always Buying the Latest Gadgets
Impression: Doing this because you want to be known as either rich or an early adopter. It may even be the case that you just want to have something that other people don’t.
Expression: Buying gadgets because they help you to do what you do more effectively. Buying them could even be that you just…want them (Key: whether people know you have them or not).
Chatting Up a Guy / Girl in a Bar
Impression: Doing it in order to validate your level of attractiveness or social skills. Also doing it just to show your friends your ‘abilities’ in this department.
Expression: Having a genuine interest in the guy or girl and simply showing how you feel by introducing yourself to them.
Choosing a Career / Income Path
Impression: Choosing to work in an industry where your parents want you to work or one which society deems as valuable. Pushing yourself down a road because there’s a lot of income potential.
Expression: Doing not only something you love, but something that you feel you can provide real value to people with. Something that allows you to really put yourself into your work, whatever it may be, and make a difference.
Expression As a Way of Making Money
By now you should have a clear grasp of what I mean when I speak about expression and impression. In this section we’re going to look at the angle of expressing yourself as a way to lead you to financial abundance.
In a recent post, I highlighted a concept I had put together about your followers filtering themselves. I said:
My philosophy is quite simple: keep doing what you’re doing, and people will happily filter themselves. If you stick to your values and certain friends don’t like that, they will naturally drift out of your life while you naturally attract other people. If you regularly write long blog posts then people who prefer short ones will naturally drift away while those who like more content will be drawn towards you.
Don’t always feel like you have to give yourself or your projects a label. Just keep doing whatever aligns with your beliefs and values, and the rest will handle itself.
Although you may like the sound of this idea, it’s not always good for business. For instance, as you know, I write much longer articles than most bloggers. This isn’t because I want to stand out or even imitate other people who use this method successfully, it’s simply because I feel it is the best way to get my message across. I would rather write one brilliant post that people can learn a lot from than 20 short ones with snippets of value here and there.
One thing you have to take into consideration is that I want to build this brand into a business. I make a substantial income from my other online activities, but it is PluginID which aligns more with my life purpose and it is something I would like to see succeed. If there was nobody interested in the way I express myself (long articles), then I would have no business. Fact.
Just because you feel like you’re being true to yourself and following your own values, it still doesn’t mean that people care about what you have to offer. In order to make money via self expression, you need to share your value in a way that people want it. I don’t believe that everyone just has one way of doing this. For example, if writing doesn’t work out for me, I could turn to public speaking, creating videos, or even making software for people in order to get my value out there.
Each is a very different format, but it is still a way for me to express myself and create value at the same time.
Examples of True Expression for Income
Although I like to mix my personal stories in with each post, it’s often a good idea to look at other people who are practicing what I preach.
- Gary Vaynerchuk – Gary and his family owned a wine business which was fairly successful in his local area. Due to his huge passion for wine, he started making videos reviewing all of the varieties out there. If you watch Gary, you will notice he is just so enthusiastic and so passionate about what he does and this really comes across. After a few years of going down this route, his wine company is a national leader and he has landed a 10-book publishing deal worth 7 figures.
- Chris Guillebeau – Chris’ story certainly lives up to the name of his site, The Art of Nonconformity. He has been self-employed all of his life, generating his income online. He is passionate about travel and is currently attempting to visit all 197 countries in the world (right now he’s visited over 110). His blog has become a rapid success and, in less than a year, is already making him a full-time income.
- Seth Godin – Anybody who authors a book puts themselves on the line for criticism. Even with the best-sellers at Amazon you can some negative reviews of them out there. I could have mentioned any author here, but Seth is one that I feel stretches the boundaries and does what he does in a way like no other. He really puts himself out there through his blog and book titles like “All Marketers are Liars” but offers insane value, and succeeds for doing so.
- Sean Platt – Sean may not be as well known as the above, but it does not mean he isn’t earning through self expression. He is one of the most talented writers I have ever come across in my life and I will be very surprised (and disappointed) if he does not write a best-selling novel in his lifetime. After years of failing to express his writing ability, he started a blog and writing business and has gained a strong and loyal audience for doing so.
All of these men have managed to express themselves in a way that is congruent with who they are and make money for doing so. Sure, their incomes probably vary a lot, but that is not the point. The point is that it is possible to make money through expression – just make sure your expressing something that people want.
The Choice is Yours
It is completely up to you whether you want to lead a life of expression or impression. Leading a life of impression could also be phrased as living a life of reactivity. You constantly have to adjust what you do in every situation to try and keep other people happy and make sure they hold an image of you in their head that appeals to your ego. You have to remember who you are, to which person, and keep up with this image.
It’s tiring. If you want to live reactively then go ahead; although we both know there is a better way.
There is a popular quote by David Allen which goes “You can do anything, but not everything.” We can also tweak this quote around so that it applies to the current topic: “You can please anyone, but not everyone.” No matter what you do or how many people you have helped, there will be someone out there who is ready to put you down.
This is quite a sad realisation, but it doesn’t mean you have to let it affect you. Right now, I’m choosing the route of expression. I’m following my internal compass and expressing my internal state into the outside world. In a way, this makes life easier. On the other hand, it can also be difficult.
If you’re so used to holding back and keeping to yourself, it can be hard to turn that around and start expressing your value and doing what you want to do. In my own case, the process was gradual and it involved climbing many small steps to get where I wanted to be. This is not something that will happen overnight, but if you let it – it will happen.
Ultimately, I like to look at the idea of ‘expression not impression,’ as following your own path. Expression in this case is not about doing crazy things you wouldn’t otherwise do; it’s doing the things you want to do. Things that someone stuck in impression mode would not do because they’re worried about the reaction.
True self expression has made my life so much easier and so much more enjoyable. There will always be people that want to hate or hold you back this way, but there will also be people like that when you try to impress others as well. Luckily, the problem is with them, and nothing to do with you.
I will constantly try my best to lead by example – but more importantly – I want to lead the creation of more leaders.
The choice is yours…
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Nice post, expressing ourselves is very important, although it is difficult to do sometimes.
I would add to my previous comment that difficulty is not an excuse to avoid doing something. On the contrary it should be a good candidate to grow.
Good point Oscar,
Thanks for stopping by. It’s awesome to see you went with that domain as well, good luck with your site
Yes, I will pay your favor back at some point
Well, Dave Chambers, I think you’ve hit the nail on the head with this one. The bottom line is it is exhausting (and impractical) to live your life in reaction to others. When you can truly discover who you are, and connect with that truth, it no longer makes a difference what anyone thinks about it… that is hugely liberating!
I’m thrilled that you’ve discovered this so early in life. Maybe you can avoid the decades of false living most of us have put ourselves through. That should make for quite an interesting ride.
PS: So glad you puth Seth on that list.. the man is amazing!
Lee-Cease, you do not have permission to start calling me that
Indeed, I hope to start making a video of this ride in the near future.
Thanks for your comment!
Great post Glen!
Lol I remember the sock;)
Expression is done by artists, creative people, free minds who live their lives to the fullest. Maybe hard to get started with but once you’re doing it it’s easy.
Impression is the other way around, its for people who’s lives are empty and they need to fill it with validation from others:)
Easy to start with and hard to stop.
Peace!
Haha you will see the sock again fairly soon
I really like that way of thinking about it. Expression hard to start but easy to keep going. Impression easy to start but hard to keep up.
Very well said, thanks man!
ahy!!! that’s my sock!!
now i’m walking around in the middle of winter with one sock. the other one on glen’s wrist. just great
Thanks so much for mentioning my work. More importantly, thanks for doing great work of your own. This is excellent!
All the best,
cg
Anytime Chris, thanks for checking out the site
Glen, I want to share a story with you about walking up to women, totally sober, and complimenting them. Several years ago, three girlfriends and I were at a Mexican restaurant, enjoying dinner and drinks on the patio to celebrate my birthday. A guy walked up to us and said, “Good evening, ladies, who’s the lucky birthday girl?” “Me!” I exclaimed! He pulled out a ring, made from a dollar bill, and folded just so that the “1″ is the center of the ring. He said, “My third grade teacher taught us this trick, and I love using it to surprise people. Happy Birthday!” He handed me the ring, kissed me on the cheek, and walked back to his table, after effusive thanks from me. I still have the ring in my jewelry box, and look back on that moment as a “random act of kindness” that I will always remember!
Keep it up! We love it!
Hah great story Eleanor, thanks for sharing.
Based on the reactions I’ve received and seen, I definitely agree with your last sentence
I used to try and only impress people as well. Over time, however, I knew trying to impress those who I deemed higher value than myself was killer on my confidence. Like you, I gave up doing that and focused on expressing myself and following my own path.
What I take away from this is: You can’t change people (make them like you), but you can certainly change yourself.
This is my favorite part:
There will always be people that want to hate or hold you back this way, but there will also be people like that when you try to impress others as well.
People will ALWAYS have something to say about what we do, so why bother? Besides, some people do not realize how obvious it is when they are trying to be what they are not, AND you become more likeable, especially to the people you like. It happens naturally
Dave Chambers
lol wtf rofl lmaocakes
you are a king
you seem to have a lot of faith in the average person
i think even when they’re expressing, they’re trying to impress. expression not impression. not expression with impression 
i really like how you always take it personal and use yourself as the (always great and real) example.
your examples were cool. really easy to relate to, specially for the type of audience you’ve got here. i still only chat up girls to impress rishan tho
seth godin = legend status. cool to see some similar examples though, checkn em out now.
the choice is yours
awwwsome post man
keep ‘em coming
alex – unleash reality
Hey Alex, I hadn’t thought of things from that angle (expression as a means for impression) – I like it.
Thanks for the comment buddy
Great Article.
Expression versus Impression is a great way to categorize how we live our lives.
So much of what we do is meant to IMPRESS others. So many people feign an interest in anything socially sophisticated. There are too many self-proclaimed wine, art, music and food connoisseurs in the world. How about enjoying things just because you like them? When people try to impress they lack authenticity and are not in control of their own lives.
Being able to EXPRESS who we really are takes great courage. It is too bad that so many of us spend our entire lives trying to mask what we are really about.
Thanks for making me think!
Hey John,
Thanks for popping over here again! That is so true, lacking authenticity when you’re just trying to please others. I like to think this authenticity comes across as well, and people just can’t connect with you.
Great post Glen. This is very inspiring. What continually amazes me about your posts is the level of self awareness you have at such an early age. I think we do so many things because of the validation of others.
I went through a phase in college where I started to not give a damn what anybody thought, and all of a sudden people were drawn to me. Then my roommate who ironically most people hated, came to me and said “I know you’re doing this whole I don’t care thing, but I think you should stop because you’re pissing people off.” We ended up not being friends at all a few years later, but it’s amazing, how many times I conformed because I wanted to make the right impression.
Srinivas,
Hey man. Thanks for the kind words, much appreciated. It sounds to me like he was the only person pissed off. Something else I have noticed is that when you start to ‘grow’ out of your social circle, people will hold you back so that you don’t leave them.
It’s interesting not only to watch, but to observe in yourself.
This absolutely is a post that made me sit and think a bit. I especially like the quote about you can do anything, but not everything. I need to put that on a sticky note on the bathroom mirror, until I memorize it. Thanks,
Ah, Erin!
Glad I got you thinking, thanks for stopping by. It would make me feel awesome if you put my ‘quote’ on a sticky note as well
(Just kidding)
What an awesome post and high compliment, Glen. Thanks so much. That is an amazing list to be included on and I look forward to living up to the praise. : > )
Hey Sean, you’re welcome. I really, really, hope you do
Glen, are you really 20 years old?. I ask because I can’t help but to feel so amazed by your wisdom at such an early age. You are really an inspiration to me. I look forward to your posts and I believe me, I have read your entire blog, from A to Z, literally.
I wish I had had that kind of focus, clarity of mind and wisdom when I was your age. I tip my hat to you sir.
I have come to a point in my life where I no longer regret anything from my past. If it happened to me it’s because it was meant to be, period.
However this post has really struck a cord. I have lived my entire life on the impression mode. The good thing is that I just got sick and tired of it and I am working towards a life of more expression. Paraphrasing Dr.Phil (please don’t laugh), you can’t change what you don’t acknowledge.
And that is the stage I am currently at. After all the reading, listening and watching about “self development stuff”, your blog is the one that resonates with me. I guess because of the freshness and wisdom of it.
I thank you from the bottom of my heart because I can now express to everyone that an old dog can indeed learn new tricks.
Learning and growing only ends when we die, and is never to late to start a brand new life on the solid ground that being honest to yourself provides.
Keep it up master,
A
Haha that’s awesome Arturo, your comment really means a lot to me. And yes, I am only 20
Congratulations, that’s a great place to be in. Really.
Thanks for your awesome comment!
Glen, what a FANTASTIC article. I just love the way you put this.
“Ultimately, I like to look at the idea of ‘expression not impression,’ as following your own path. Expression in this case is not about doing crazy things you wouldn’t otherwise do; it’s doing the things you want to do. Things that someone stuck in impression mode would not do because they’re worried about the reaction.”
This sums the whole thing up beautifully in three sentences. In regards to your point about not doing what is popular, on the Internet it doesn’t really matter. A terribly unpopular style or subject or point of view can have a large following in a sea of billions. That’s something that wasn’t available back in the dark ages when I was your age.
That is a good point Stephen. In an earlier draft I had said something like:
“Luckily, there are 7 billion people on this planet, you just have to find the ones who want what you’ve got”
I see that you are making up for that now though, and doing an awesome job!
Great, wise words Glen. One of the main things that I like about your site and your writing is your dedication to being authentic. You have such a lack of BS, and seem to have strong values and beliefs you adhere to. I love posts about being more authentic… keep ‘em coming!
Hey Karen
Thanks, it’s always good to know people’s specific reasons for stopping by here now and then.
I appreciate your comment!
Hi Glen! I just found your blog, and I love it already! This is the kind of blog I’d like to make one day. Good job!
Wow, thank you Raisia, and I’m very glad you found us all.
Welcome to the party!
Heya Glen
Great post… funny it’s something I’ve been pondering recently but hadn’t thought of it in quite this way…what I’ve started noticing is that it’s a day to day or even moment to moment thing to catch myself to be authentic as how I want to express myself can change quickly…what’s authentic one day, can be the opposite the next..it can be easy to pidgeon hole myself into being one kinda way but have to remind myself its a fluid thing.
Cheers
Jen
I used to be more reserved and shy about expressing myself openly but I have opened up more and mover over the past 5 or 10 years. sometimes you just have to say wtf.
Beautiful.
I really like the expression vs. impression examples.
This really made me think. I agree for the most part, but I started to ask myself if living a life of expression rather than impression meant living a completely unedited life. I don’t know if that would be practical. What if I expressed myself and was mean to others, you know because I’m a jerk? What if I was so brutally honest that I couldn’t hold a job or support my family, you know because sometimes people in the corporate world are idiots? Maybe I’m missing the point or I’m reading too much into it.
I enjoyed the post. And P.S. I’m normally too “shy” to comment on anything. So I suppose the post hit home – good job.
Hi Michael
Thanks for the comment. In regards to your question, of course common sense should always come into play. If you have an actual example of where you would be mean to others, that would be better for me to answer than a hypothetical one.
However, this same argument could be applied to impression. How far would some people go to impress others? Be mean to people? yep. Act like a jerk? yep.
I guess whichever route you take, your scenarios are possible. If your natural expression is to be brutally honest in the corporate world, I think you would naturally flow into being your own boss / running your own company. I have actually seen this kind of thing work as a positive for people
Thanks again
This reminded me of a show I saw last week about Galileo. It explained how most people in Eastern Europe during the early 1600s still thought the Earth was the center of the solar system. Copernicus published a book claiming that the Sun was the center of the Solar System and it was banned. Galileo published a book a century later with the same claims and that was also banned.
They were mocked and criticized for heresy. People thought the idea of Earth traveling so fast through space was impossible. It was only many years later after their deaths that they were proven wrong.
If we believe something is true and we have evidence to back it up, we owe to the world to express that truth. Could you imagine how far backward civilization would be if Galileo, Copernicus, and other great minds cared more about simply making a good impression on people?
Innovation is about seeing things that other people don’t see. Only by being brave and expressing unknown truths can we make a genuine lasting impression on the world.
Beautiful post, Glen. You helped me think about this in a different light.
I really liked the examples you posted. Very nice post indeed.
Hi Glen.
The message behind this post is one of those that you think would have shown up elsewhere, but has not, which is what makes it another winner. We can end up spending most of our day on impression, which provides no long-term value, and then spend twenty minutes on expression, which gets us twenty minutes further toward our goals.
The only benefit to impression is that slightly positive feeling that arises right when we feel we are impressing others, which is then followed by disappointment with their response, and then disappointment with ourselves for caring to spend so much time and effort to elicit the response.
absolutely fantastic post, really enjoyed it. thanks for sharing that!
Thank you, you are a gift, you have inspired me more than you
can ever imagine. Great work keep it coming. Am new here and
very happy to have found you. I love your writing enjoyed it very
much.
Best,
Definitely food for thought; good post, and interesting discoveries. I also like the use of examples, it really makes things applicable.
reading your blog helps put alot of things in order for me i can’t explain it. but you are truly amazing keep doing what your doing because it is making a difference in someones life