Personal Development Face-Off: Round #7
Glen / 
21 Comments / 
May 18th, 2009 / 
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We are now on to Round 7 of the Personal Development Face-Off. It looks like this will be the last one for quite a while, or I may ‘refresh’ the idea with a bit of a twist but we’ll see about that. I want to thank everyone who has voted and taken part in order to make this a great series!
In this seventh round we have two of the nicest bloggers in the industry: Alex De Foe and Mary Jaksch.
Alex De Foe was one of the first people I connected with in this industry and runs Spiritual Blog. He also owns a Melbourne based business focused on NLP.
Mary Jaksch is without a doubt one of my favourite female bloggers. She runs the site ‘Goodlife Zen’ and regularly offers practical, life-changing advice.
Questions & Answers
| Alex De Foe |
Mary Jaksch |
| What is the key to living a happier life? | |
| Stop thinking about your happiness and start living it. Most of our unhappy thoughts derive from what happened “back then” and what might happen “if and when.” Rather than living through the past and the future find your moment Right Now and embrace it. You’ll discover a deeper level of happiness and more of it. | What makes life sizzle is when we find and pursue our passion. |
| To you, what is the meaning / purpose of life? | |
| To discover your own inner light and let it shine brightly. | The purpose of my life is to be insanely useful. I told my partner David and he says I already fulfill the first part. |
| What advice would you give someone who is depressed on turning their life around? | |
| There isn’t space to really go into this, but briefly: let go of your attachment to a negative self image, be aware of self-talk, let yourself feel what you are feeling, force yourself into drastically different social environments and life experiences, and attend counselling (preferably find a Solution Focused, CBT, or Time Line Therapist). Finally, I recommend getting your hands on “The Sedona Method” CDs, or learning at least 3 Meditation techniques. | I would encourage them to try three simple but potent strategies that can reverse depression: a) Practice upright posture; b) Go for a fast 10 minute walk each day; c) Start expressive writing (keep a journal). |
| Which is the most important aspect of our lives that we should work on? | |
| It’s often the aspect that brings you the greatest amount of self understanding that is the most important to focus on for you personally. Remember to take a break from treating your personal development as “work” and enjoy the unpredictability of the adventure once in a while. | What puts magic into life is tender regard. Try paying tender regard to each person before you. And to doorhandles, birdsong, the smell of fresh coffee, the ground beneath our feet, or the breath flowing in and out. |
| Are problems real or mind-made? Why? | |
| How we react to our problems makes all the difference. If you react by saying “that’s a problem, we’re stuffed” then you’re blocking off all potential solutions. But begin to see your problems as opportunities and you’ll notice that every shipwreck presents a chance to search for a treasure chest of gold. | It’s too easy to say that all problems are in the mind. Tell that to someone who’s just lost their job or been diagnosed with cancer! However, we have a choice about how we respond, and we can learn to move gracefully with life’s tide. |
| What is your best tip for staying motivated? | |
| Grab a pen and list your top five goals for the next 6 months with 200 words per goal on why you want to achieve it, what resources that goal will require, and what will happen once you’ve achieved it. It might sound silly, but just go with it, the more you talk about or write about your goals the more you’ll feel motivated to achieve them right now. | My strategy for staying motivated is to create rituals in order to support regular action. For example, I start my daily meditation by making a cup of tea and drinking it on my cushion. Similarly, I follow an exercise routine at the same time each day. |
| How can people reach a stage of feeling fulfilled? | |
|
Instead of focusing on what you want tomorrow, why not shift your concentration towards appreciating all those wonderful things you already have in your life today?
|
I used to think that achieving goals brings fulfillment. It’s really the opposite: we feel fulfilled when we continually pursue goals that resonate with our values. |
| If you could only give PluginID readers one sentence of wisdom, what would it be? | |
| Every single moment has the potential to be a totally clean slate, a surge of potential for anything and everything that you choose to come true, if you’ll let it. | Pursue your passion and dare to dream big, but don’t forget to practice kindness every day. |
Vote for Your Favourite
(Note: If you’re viewing this in your inbox or RSS reader, click through to vote!)
Update from Glen: Comments may take a while to approve if you haven’t left one before as I’m at a funeral today.
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A hard one! I enjoyed Mary’s sense of humor (as always), and her responses are genuinely insightful. But in the end I had to go with Alex. A very good choice of bloggers this time around.
Thanks for explaining your reasons Albert, and glad you liked the bloggers!
Great match up! Alex won me over with this part:
Every single moment has the potential to be a totally clean slate, a surge of potential for anything and everything that you choose to come true, if you’ll let it.
=-)
Yeah I really liked the wording on that one. Thanks for the comment Lisis.
Hi Glen,
Another great face-off as usual.
This whole series has been very educational because you see all kinds of perspectives on how to handle life. I have learned some really interesting points of view. I look foward to see who you will have next.
Hope all is well!
Ahh Glen, I always enjoy these face-offs and look forward to them. As always, the different perspectives that we each have and choose to share here, gives to all of us even more to think about; to grow and to expand upon. It makes learning more interesting; growing more spiritual; almost with little effort as it resonates so often within each of us. As for Mary’s last comment regarding ‘Practicing Kindness each day,’ is simply and exactly the way it should be. To experience an act of kindness makes you feel so good; sometimes beyond what any words could even come close to expressing. Whether you are the giver, the receipient or an observer of that kindness; we each experience it. We are affected.
Take care Glen.
Hey Glen!
I can’t choose between either of them, they both seem to have great points of view.
Definitely going to check out their blogs:)
Really like how you connect with so many other bloggers and make everything so interactive!
Peace!
alex scores big points for question 1. less thinking about it and more doing it.
…and after i read that he recommends the Sedona Method, i already made up in my mind that he should win!!
but i liked mary’s grit about where problems come from.
all-round liked alex’s focus on presence, without being re-hashed and his parting advice but cool to hear mary’s down to earth, applicable thoughts.
almost like two different styles of personal development :p
awesome stuff
alex
p.s. condolences about the funeral, hope everything’s cool. keep well bro.
p.s.part2. i’d be up for a faceoff if you start em up again
Well stated, Mary.
You won my vote with this one.
I think to get past depression you have to look outside yourself. I have been there and it is the ultimate pity party with no gifts and no visitors. There are some valuable tips in taking a brisk walk, and counceling is good. You have to take control of your thoughts. Find one or two things to be thankful for each day. Gratitude changes your whole outlook. Think about the needs of others and what is in your skill set to make a difference in someone elses life. Prayer is a great tool to find a new sense of direction.
A worthwhile forum today. Thanks.
I voted for Alex, but it was a close call.
By the way, Glen, when are you going to feature yourself in one of these face-offs?
Hey Mel, I had thought about it but I didn’t want it to be possible biased. I still have some unique ideas to come from all the answers here
Another wonderful face-off! I love the feelings I get when I leave this page each week after reading the answers to the faceoff.
It was another close one… again.
Maybe all of us personal development folk find it hard to pick sides?
Thanks Nathalie, that’s great to hear. Haha, maybe; I know I do
I can’t vote because I see their opposing statements as not so much in opposition as highlighting or emphasizing different points that are all valid.
Btw, this “personal development face-off” concept is funny and entertaining, but also it really is an good format for summarizing and comparing ideas.
I have to say, however, that having totally transcended my ego, I am number one. Just ask my mom or my Aunt Theresa . . .
Number one what?
That’s an interesting face-off. I seem to like the insights of both.
Thanks Anthony, I’m glad you got something out of this
Glen, this last one trumps them all for me:
“Pursue your passion and dare to dream big, but don’t forget to practice kindness every day.”
Winner!
Where did you get this idea about having a face off? Whatever the case, it was and is a great idea.
I like the idea of being good to others , nice to be amongst who feel the same
Glen, congrats on the face-off series.
What a brilliant idea. It’s really very interesting to see all the different responses to those questions.