Fear is an interesting emotion one I have yet to, nor ever will, completely comprehend. What I do know is that many of us spend the majority of our lives not only living in fear, but allowing it to dictate the terms of what we call life.
While fear certainly has the potential to hold you back, being scared isn’t always as bad as it may seem. In fact, I believe that being scared is an important component of growth and essential in expressing your gifts to the world.
Expands Your Comfort Zone
Being scared generally means opportunities for growth. I’m all about pushing outside your comfort zone in a way that makes sense for you.
If you move to a new country for example, like I did when I went from The US to Shanghai, it’s normal to be scared first.
Will I fit in? How will I respond to the new culture? Will people like me? However after you arrive and are immersed in your new surroundings your threshold for what scares you will most likely rise.
If you face your fears rather than run from them, your perspective on what you can and can’t handle will change.
When I go back and look at the various fears I had growing up I’m amazed at how many of them don’t phase me anymore. Expand your comfort zone and you will be rewarded with opportunities you never thought possible.
Fear is Relative
What scares you now may have no affect on you many years down the road. There’s no point in worrying whether or not you’ll overcome a certain fear. When I was younger I never thought I’d enjoy roller coasters but as it turns out I’ve come to love them.
Just because you’re scared of something now doesn’t mean you won’t own your fear in days to come. Being afraid of something just means you have a chance to out grow it. And when you out grow a fear you usually end up better off.
As you mature and experience new paths your definition of fear will continue to change. Being scared simply means there are more paths you need to explore.
Makes Life Exciting
Why is it that so many people want to risk their life and jump out of a plane? Because it’s scary that’s why. While many of us intentionally design our lives to be safe, deep down many of us crave a bit of scary in our everyday life.
If you’re scared of snakes, wrapping one around your neck probably won’t do much for you, but choosing specific fears for you to overcome and conquer can be incredibly rewarding.
With fear generally comes uncertainty, and there’s something about uncertainty that we are often attracted to. Overcoming a personal battle or struggle can really take life to the next level. Without fear your life becomes a boring sitcom rerun.
Creates New Boundaries
When you’re afraid you have a chance to immerse yourself in a whole new world. I used to be afraid of sharing my thoughts with people online, but that fear turned into something I now enjoy.
On the side of each fear is a boundary waiting to be explored. The more you face your fears the more you “level up” and the better you’re able to handle future problems and setbacks.
If you simply live a life with your comfortable you’ll become stagnant and miss out on the numerous opportunities of growth.
Had I never began blogging, I wouldn’t have been introduced to the wonderful community I’ve come to love. Your fears are often a blessing in disguise.
Means You’re Alive
If you’re scared you know you’re doing something right. If you’re scared it means you’re human.
Far too many of us, myself often included, sit back and watch life pass us by. Sure we may have the comfort of “security” but we aren’t doing anything worth while.
Obviously, not all fears are created equal. There are some situations where fear is not good and unhealthy, however many times we get worked up over fears that can be successfully over come.
Fear is universal, yet it is those who see fear use it as fuel that create the life that they desire.
I happen to think that being scared is a good thing, as long as you don’t allow it to stop you in your tracks. Question now is: do you?
Bud,
I find the synchronicity funny that I recently posted on the same topic.
I really love the way you explain how our fear threshold increases as we experience new things. It really is amazing, once we finally face the fear we realize how unremarkable it was, and that we’re capable of so much more. We limit our growth by having fear of the future, and never working to push our boundaries. Many times being lead by our fear is more arduous though it seems like it would be the easier and safer route.
I’ve looked at fears my whole life. I came from a very rough place, and even though I didn’t totally realize it as a kid, there was very real danger in just walking down the street.
When I turned 18, I decided I wanted to be a fighter, and did that for 7 years.
The only thing about fear is it can be possible to become desensitized to it, which can be dangerous. For me, it is very difficult to feel fear after being paid to fight other human beings in a cage.
But your fear is there for a reason, from an evolutionary stand point, it kept us safe in a world where we are the most ill equipped species to survive naturally.
I completely agree that we have to face fear, just not at the cost of sacrificing the evolutionary importance of it.
The funny thing is I keep fear as a momentum for me at times because it’s a combination of all my emotions but when you’re facing it daily, you kind of build a wall to it as well. That’s the irony. While the threshold you say increases, other emotions do too. It’s getting in tuned with your body that I think makes fear become contained in some point whether through exercise or development.
Thus, exercising your fear through a medium like blogging which I’ve labeled blogger’s shyness is a topic I just wrote about about. In a sense, it’s learning to communicate who you are as profoundly as you can. Just like how you’re doing right here.
It’s one step further from letting the cat get your tongue.
GREAT post!
I have always said FEAR stands for False Expectations Appearing Real. Which means, if I am feeling fear I am not in the present moment and living in the “what may be” future.
We have such great imaginations – I should use my to imagine what good might be, not what could go wrong
Hey Bud, nice post on fear. I never go through a day without experiencing fear at least once so this post was helpful in that aspect. Two things you touched upon that I really agree with was the tip on how fear is relative and how it lets us create new boundaries. We have no idea what our fear may be or feel like a year down the road and I keep having to remind myself that. Also, the more we “level up” like you say, the more we can experience new things in life without being as afraid. That’s why I love how you conditioned yourself to see fear as something you enjoy because I think doing that will make life a lot more enjoyable.
Nice post Bud, I think we all experience fear from time to time, the important thing is not to let fear hold us back on doing what we want to do. Thanks for sharing
i like that new angle for looking at fear,
that should ease the intensity of the emotions a bit
thanks for the post bud:)
Hi Bud,
This is a great article and one I couldn’t agree with more. I remember being so scared to move from my hometown to one of the largest cities in Canada where I only knew one person. It was for my first corporate job in the largest investment bank, too. Talk about scary and being fearful. But, I knew that if I didn’t accept the job and get out of my comfort zone, I would end up regretting taking the safe route. Many times we should force ourselves to face our fears in order to grow. The more you do that, the more you realize that you can handle anything that life throws at you.
Karen
Haha funny how people say that when I get inspired to write something. Thanks Joe!
That’s crazy cool Joshua. I respect fighters.. you have to be hella tough!
I don’t always enjoy fear Hulbert.. sometimes it gets the best of me.. but I try to embrace it.
Way to take the leap Karen.
Hi Bud,
I find that most of our fear is unnatural. The world-voice is constantly offering a vast array of corrosive opinions that leave you feeling insecure and nervous… “Be careful – you are only human”, “you should not expect so much from life” etc. When I learned the nature of my mind I was no longer amenable to fearful feelings of doubt. The first commandment of growth is that you continually express and experience more of your unlimited nature. Obeying this commandment requires that your mind considers no exterior condition superior to its ability to create.
Nice post about fear. You are correct when saying that fear is a good thing and that it helps us grow. I’ve spent many years overseas, traveling the world and working in different environments and I was always scared to death before taking on a new project. But soon you settle into your new environment and you begin to enjoy it and then you wonder why the heck you were even scared in the first place.
I look back on my travels overseas with very fond memories and I am grateful that I always took on my fear and challenged it the best I could, for it took me to experience great new adventures.
Fear is a paralyzing emotion and it gets the better of a lot of folks. You just gotta continue to fight it. Mark Twain said “Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear – not absence of fear”.
And I thguoht I was the sensible one. Thanks for setting me straight.