Over the last few months I’ve spent a fair amount of time reflecting on the various relationships that have shaped who I am today. I’m immensely grateful for every single one, because I’d be walking an entirely different path were it not for them.
In reflecting on my most intimate relationships, that is my closest family and friends, I’ve been reminded how important our relationships are in our everyday life. And though our social interactions affect our lives tremendously, we often neglect arguably the most important relationship of all: The one with ourselves.
Having been a chronic people-pleaser for much of my life, I know what it’s like to always feel behind. I know what it’s like to always go out of your way to make a particular relationship work. I know what what it’s like to feel empty and alone.
Yet in my admittedly young life, I’ve found that our desire to people please often comes from our insecurity within. Many know this at a conscious level, yet many continue to change themselves instead of learning to love themselves unconditionally.
By loving yourself with every ounce of being you alter your reality to a place of unconditional compassion. And though knowing that you create the world you live in is quite often a scary thought, it can be used for the greater good.
Obviously, your thinking alone can’t alter the world in anyway you please. There are an abundance of other factors that come into play when considering your current reality, ones that you do not control. That being said however, your happiness and ultimate satisfaction in life directly correlates to how much love you are able, and willing, to give yourself.
Learning To Love Yourself
It would be nice to live in a world where loving ourselves was as common as breathing. However unfortunately that’s not the case. Growing up, we face and meet a lot of resistance to this seemingly intelligent idea. And as years pass we forget that we deserve not only love from those around us, but our love as well.
I’ve struggled recently with accepting that I’m OK just the way I am, and unfortunately that has reflected in my current reality. Yet as I’ve spent the last few weeks working on loving myself I can slowly but surely see that love coming back to me in various ways often through other relationships.
Loving yourself fully may feel a bit uncomfortable at first depending on your past, but regardless of where you’ve been it is possible. I spent much of my early teen years resenting myself because I felt inadequate. I’m sure you can recall a similar time in your life in which you’ve felt the same. However as I began loving myself my life slowly but transformed.
By making the time and effort to love yourself, all faults included, your reality will soon begin to reflect that love. Instead of a life filled with pessimism, love will soon flow to almost effortlessly. When you realize that each interaction you have is essentially a part of you, it makes even more sense to learn to love yourself unconditionally and with every ounce of love you have.
Loving yourself fully obviously won’t solve all of life’s ills, but it will at least make each breathe you take one of mystical beauty.
Whenever life gets a bit hectic, take a moment to notice your current relationship with yourself. Be selfish with your love with the expectation your love is going to be a gift to others. Are you treating yourself with respect? Are you expecting far too much from yourself? Are you giving yourself enough rest?
Most external problems are nothing but a simple fix on the inside. The mirror is the world’s greatest teacher.
Trying to give love when there is none to give is like trying to drive a car with no gas. You may be able to turn the car on, but in the end you won’t get anywhere. Luckily, you can create gas at will, and at no cost, by accepting the person you’ve turned out to be. Only by learning to love yourself can you begin sharing the wealth and abundance that you’re capable of giving.
As you strengthen your relationship with yourself and grow deeper in love with the person you are, watch as the world begins to come alive.