5 Lessons I Won’t Forget from 2009
Glen / 
39 Comments / 
December 29th, 2009 / 
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I didn’t originally start PluginID just as a way to help others, but also to document my own progress in life on the path of being who I want to be and living how I want to live. I’ve managed to document how I make dreams a reality, how I made $20,000 in 4 months and even 8 things I have stopped doing as much as possible.
Since launching this site I’ve quit my job, worked for myself for almost a year, and moved to Amsterdam in the Netherlands. It’s amazing what happens when you actively track a journey, so now I want to go back over the last year and pick out some of the most important lessons that I have learned.
If you have your own to share, I more than welcome you to share them in the comments or even make this a blog-meme and write a similar post for your own site.
1. Realise You Enjoy Being Unhappy
I’m not talking about some fictional ‘you’, I’m actually talking about you sitting right there and reading this. You enjoy being unhappy. You might not believe it or even like the thought of the idea, but based on my experiences, this is true.
I’ll need someone smarter to explain the science behind this, but it’s an interesting concept I want you to try and observe: people don’t like changing their emotions. Whatever emotion we are in, we want to stick to it. Therefore, on a very core level, you enjoy being unhappy, nervous, miserable, stressed and of course…happy.
Have you never spoke to someone who just did not want to admit they are wrong or even just get over a situation? Have you never turned down an event that sounds fun just because your negative emotions have totally taken control of you? How long did you stress about the boy / girl you like or your last break-up?
Once we are in a state, we like to stay in that state. This means that whenever you are feeling down or miserable then you need to proactively work towards getting yourself in a better state. You need to realise that this change won’t happen naturally (at least not anytime soon) and consciously sculpt your own feelings.
If you still don’t quite get this then try to observe it around you in every day life. Look for the times when people have a clear opportunity to solve a situation and get out of their negative mood and simply don’t take it.
2. Focus On What You Put Out, Not What You Get Back
The saying “give and ye shall receive” and other permutations of the same message have been told thousands of times so I’m not going to repeat them here. What I will say, however, is that you should practically eliminate all caring about what people or the world give back to you.
I fully appreciate all of the recognition I’ve received for my work and what I’ve managed to achieve, but I don’t work towards it. Next week I’m being featured in the 2nd biggest newspaper in the UK, but I didn’t work towards that happening. Instead, I just completely focused on what I put out to the world and it turns out that what I got back was quite favourable.
When I go out to a club at night, I can only control how I act towards a girl that catches my eye, not how she reacts to me. When I write a blog post, I can only see whether it meets my personal standards to be published, not whether people are going to love it and share it. Your focus should also be about the value you are putting out into the world, and not what other people are pushing on to you.
3. Nothing That Happens Changes Who You Are
When I first planned to move to Amsterdam with a friend, we decided that we would make a number of personal development videos as we both own websites in the industry. Certain things about the idea meant that it was put on hold (although we have taken hundreds of videos) but a specific video I want to talk about was in regards to making friends in a new city.
Both of us know it’s easy to make friends wherever you go and we wanted to show that on video — moving to Amsterdam was ideal for this project. We do have some clips we may share in the future, but the main way we make friends is to simply approach people on the street. That means literally walking up to people in any social setting, probably surrounded by lots of people who can see what you are doing, and starting a conversation.
As you can imagine, some people aren’t very receptive to this and you get what we call “blown out”. Other people are very friendly of course and I’ve met tons of awesome people in Amsterdam, but it’s blowouts which are ‘hard’. It’s not a nice feeling to be totally ignored or rejected in front of a lot of other people, but it’s this feeling which took me to a new realisation.
Rejections, blowouts or being ignored should mean absolutely nothing to you. It’s out of your control. Even if you get “blown out” 1,000 times which all resulted in public humiliation, you are still the exact same person. You’re still you. You’re not dead. Your ego just took a little battering, that’s all.
You’ve managed to overcome every single hurdle that life has thrown at you so far. You can overcome every single hurdle in the future, as well.
4. The People That Matter Don’t Mind
One of the best quotes I have read this year has to be “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind” by Dr Seuss. I like this quote not only because of its simplicity, but the message that it promotes is similar to points 2 and 3 from this post.
One of the biggest things that holds any of us back in life is the fear of what other people think. Public speaking, karaoke, sharing your thoughts in a business meeting and even deciding what clothes you want to wear that day can give you negative emotions if you place too much emphasis on how people view you.
Instead, realise that the people who have a problem with what you do in life deserve no real estate in your mind. Instead, those people who don’t really mind about silly things you do or things others might judge are the people who should really matter to you.
Maybe I just find the whole idea comforting, but this is one quote I won’t be forgetting in 2010.
5. Release As Often As Possible (The Sedona Method)
2009 was the year I fully discovered and got involved with the Sedona Method. I had used it for a short while in 2008 but only this year did I dedicate hours of my time to the program. There are two things I quickly want to say about the Sedona Method before we continue:
- This program is very intense but also quite expensive. For that reason, I won’t link to the product with an affiliate link. If you buy it, I don’t get anything in return — this is a genuine recommendation.
- If I ever released a full personal development product with hours upon hours of content then I would want it to be this. I would be proud to have my name behind this product.
Releasing is very much what it sounds like: releasing all of the feelings and emotions inside of you until you are at a stage of hootlessness (where you don’t care what people think or how something will turn out). This feeling of hootlessness is better described as ‘meditation on steroids’ in my opinion. With the Sedona Method, I can get into a deep meditative state within minutes and easily hold it for up to an hour.
Despite 2009 being a year full of achievements and success, there were still times that I was miserable, unproductive, or in denial. Each time, releasing with the Sedona Method helps me to get over any negativity and allowed me to feel totally content with my current situation. I have nothing to do with the product or the company that makes it, but 2010 will be a much tougher year if I don’t release regularly.
Now that I’ve shared lessons I won’t forget, I would love to hear some of the most memorable things you learned in 2009!
If you enjoyed this post, I would appreciate if you share it on Twitter, Facebook or Delicious!
I really like your take on being “unhappy” – made me think twice about how i’m focusing on my goals at the moment.
Great post Glen!
I can totally relate to the first point because I realised it this year, and it was like a light bulb swtching on!
Hey Justin,
Can’t wait to get back to CT and say “Hi” dude!
Glad you liked the article, and appreciate the comment
Hey Glen!
Number 1 is huge. Huge. When you begin to examine it, people usually “enjoy” clinging to their negative emotions because it’s been impressed on them by social conditioning that they should feel bad when something happens, like being blown out or someone insults their honor. So, since they believe they “should” feel bad, they cling to it for all to see, for some strange reason.
People who focus too much on what they will receive instead of what they will give out will find it hard to achieve results in life.
Example:
If someone wants a guarantee that they will achieve the results that they want and then decide the amount of energy to put into the project will find it will be hard for them to achieve anything of significance.
There are not guarantees in life and all we can do is to give our best at every moment. So the old adage of give first and you shall receive stands true.
Cheers,
Vincent
You are talking a lot about the Sedona method. May be something to try in 2010.
Sedona Method is fab, awesome and a lifesaver. I really couldn’t have got through the last year without it.
If you’re in the UK, there’s a free teleseminar with one of the world lead instructors, David Ellzey, happening on Thu 25th March 2010 at 8pm.
You can get all the details and sign up for the call here:
http://www.sedonacoaching.co.uk/events/intro-teleseminars/
David’s doing live courses in Glasgow, Brighton and the Netherlands in April/May, so if you’re interested in The Sedona Method, check it out.
Hi Glen,
You certainly know how to make catchy post titles
I think you made some excellent points in your list, and I can’t help but give my own “3 lessons” in response:
1) Less is more: Money and property can only give fleeting happiness. The real happiness is found inside, and towards that goal it makes more sense to remove distractions and unnecessary items from life, so there is more room to focus on the things I love and appreciate.
2) Personality is not static: I’ve come to realize during this year just how much personality can change even within a matter of months, and it will change whether you like it or not. This, however, made me also realize that since my personality is changing anyway, I have a power to direct that change to becoming the kind of person I want.
3) Reality is subjective: The world I see, and how I appreciate other people is entirely dependent on my own state of mind, preconceptions, and thoughts. Similarly everyone else sees the world as a subjective reality. Realizing this has helped me tremendously to understand other people and not to judge their actions based on the reality through which I perceive the world.
There are other things too, but I think these three are the biggest realizations I’ve had in 2009.
Happy New Year!
//sami
are you in my brain sami? Good Three!
I is in your brainz. Eatin’ your grey matter
My 5 lessons for 2009 to share:
1 – Get Help – don’t fear getting assistance in any shape or form, collaboration and key relationships are vital for personal and business growth
2 – Take Action – You can do all the reading in the world but real change happens under action and getting direct, real feedback. Get coached if it helps you remain accountable.
3 – Don’t take life too seriously (nuff said)
4 – Share – share knowledge, contacts and information for the benefit of others. It’s all about connectivity.
5 – Have an attitude of gratitude
be thankful for all that life throws at you as great as it may (and sometimes may not) seem
- and on that note, Glen, I want to thank you for the personal insights we’ve shared together, 4×4 masterminding, the great insights from these blogs. Keep up the great, great work.
Wishing y’all a fantastic and fruitful 2010.
//Rob.
Great post as the list is anything from trite like most lists I read. I like the Dr Seuss quote. Reminds me of another quote “be yourself because everyone else is already taken.”
I’m with Oscar, will have to check out the sedona method as I’m quite new to it.
Oh, and Rob, great list as well!
Happy 2010!
Glen… You’re absolutely right on your first topic. People do like being unhappy. However, there is a neurochemical reason for this and there are ways of overcoming ones own neurochemistry.
If you want more information on this or if your interested in presenting this as a blog post just email me and we’ll talk. I have lots of info on this topic.
Have a Great New Year…
I absolutely love your posts, Glen. That Dr. Seuss quote is great.
I learned that it’s all right to receive. I’m constantly giving and giving until I feel empty. Sometimes I gave because “it’s the right thing” to do NOT because I wanted to do so. I learned how to receive and that it’s o.k. to receive at the Millionaire Mind Intensive I attended in early December. We practiced “receiving” without immediately giving back. It was great to receive and NOT feel that I had to give anything back. Now I can freely give without any anxiety around it…I can receive as well and not feel guilty about it.
I like this. A lot.
Thank you for sharing, Rebecca.
I remember coming across your blog a while ago and reading some of your posts, it really is impressive to see the amount of work you’ve put into internet marketing. Keep up the awesome work, I enjoy all of your posts!
“1. Realise You Enjoy Being Unhappy” – Ouch Glen, it hurt because I realized the truth in this statement.
1. One lesson for 2009 I learned from watching someone younger in my family change from a job they don’t like to a job they do in the middle of a bad recession: Just because there’s bad news going on in the world, doesn’t mean it has be a part of yours.
2. The other lesson for 2009: keep reading PluginID
Congratulations Glen on being featured in the UK newspaper.
be authentically authentic. how can anyone judge you for that. confidence in this authenticity helps even more. an addendum @PAPA.
Thanks Glen.
I will be in Amsterdam this spring, perhaps I will tread upon the residual energy you’ve created there.
Have the best 2010 your reality can fathom!
Wise words indeed. #1 and #2 really caught me off-guard there. Real “Wait a minute!” kind of moment. I’ve been working out plans for blogging myself in 2010, so this was a good find. One of the few year’s-end blog posts I’ll be saving!
Dear , Glen
I don’t know how you manage to think up of all this and personally I think your amazing. After discovering your blog a week ago , I’ve made a complete 360 in my life. I know this is extremely random to ask and has nothing to do with the post but do you believe that everyone has there own special gift but they just have to unlock it.
One more thing i love number 4 , you have this special way of putting out what you think. That for some reason i think has never been said, it just feels like a big reality smack.
From you recent posts it sounds like you have been heavily influenced by The Game. IMO its application to real life outside of pick-up are really its true value, and those that just use it for pick-up can end up less content that at the outset. If you haven’t read Tal Ben-Shahar’s Hapiness, then I am sure you would enjoy.
Hi Glen,
I have been a reader of your blog for a while. I enjoy reading all of yor posts as they always contain exceptional content. I agree with all the points you have discussed above and I realise that these are specific to your own life but they do bear a relation to the lives of others as well.
I have written my own post on my own site which details everything I have taken from 2009. I did consider putting a link in this comment but I did not want to appear as a spammer. The post title is “what i learnt in 2009″ but in summary I learnt:
1. Nothing in life is certain
2. Live life for the day
3. Anything that life throws at you can be dealt with
4. Take action
5. Deal with worry
They may be a little vague but reading the post would explain all!
Best wishes in 2010 and enjoy Amsterdam!
#1 Seems so simple, yet so important. This is something I have learned this year as well!
Wow, great post, Glen!
Just as a side note: For anyone wanting to read up on the “you like being unhappy” thing, I believe the term would be “emotional homeostasis” or “psychological homeostasis”.
One of the most fascinating and mysterious things about human psychology, in my opinion.
Cheers,
Shane
Point 2 is powerful man, If more people would take up this challenge the blogging world, and the world in general would be a better place.
The lessons from 2009 are:
1. Be focused: focus your energy and enthusiasm on completing one goal or resolution at a time
2. Be organised: plan to complete an easy goal or resolution first, pick the low hanging fruit; this gives you confidence and boosts your ability to go onto tackle the more difficult resolutions
3. Be flexible: sometimes things won’t go as planned, don’t be demodulated
4. Be specific: use SMART goals; create a concrete action plan use proven habit techniques.
Well written Glen.
“Focus On What You Put Out, Not What You Get Back”
Exactly! Most important, if we give someone else flowers, some scent also get clung to our hands.
Liked it_)
Wish 2010 adds lotsa brightness!
Roy
I like this 5 lessons, thank you!
“Realise You Enjoy Being Unhappy” – this is so true. It is a matter of bad habbits that can be changed by experience of positive and creative actions. They can be very small, like: being greateful for current opportunities, focusing on small successes, splitting a big problem to small tasks that lead to the solution etc. Small actions and focusing on happiness.
We should also be focused on creating value, what you write about in your lateste eBook, Glen, and not just on reacting to problems (I find a new job because current one doesn’t pay my bills etc.).
Glen, thank you so much for your great effort in the last year – it helped me a lot to move on and keep going.
Congratulations on making this blog such a success. I belief if you have a passion for something and are committed to it you can achieve anything!
What a lot of people don’t realise is when you don’t have the passion for it, I it very hard to have success.
opposite values are complementary
like yin and yang
this way or that way
you are never one or the other
happy or sad
up or down
always in flux
stay balanced
Emotional release is an amazing technique. I prefer using the Power of now book and just feeling my emotions with intense awareness though. It’s a lot cheaper for sure. Great article though.
I love your post especially the point about adding value. Many people get into business orundertake a task with the attitude of what they can get out of doing a particular action and most of the time they’re not successful and they wonder why.
I believe if people would just focus on how they can make the life of others better in some way, helping others on the way to achieving their ultimate goals and dreams, everyone would be more successful.
Thanks again for your post.
Hey Glen!
I was browsing randomly through your blog site. This is the article I liked best. In fact, I think clinging to one’s emotions for a prolonged period is a human weakness. Its natural, but its not right. We need to shed of this “Addiction” to negative emotions.
Keep up the good work…. Will be following your upcoming posts.
-Shrey
Hi Glen,
I’ve been following this blog from six months now, when i was looking something about south africa(not sure what it exactly was?) and bumped into your story,
i left Rome in 2007 to work in SA(Joburg) for an IT company, but had to leave it after 8 months for various reasons, but couldn’t get rid of SA from my heart,
in one of your early blogs u said that u don’t c SA as a place where would have lived, it surprised me a lot as i was missing SA like hell n all the frns i got there and the life i had there,
n now u surprised me again with this decision of going back to CT,
not sure wht’s the true reason behind ur decision ? (might be soccer world cup) but i’m really curious to know it right now
a little chat on messenger would be really gr8
anyways,
Best wishes