How to Die a Miserable Death
Glen / 
8 Comments / 
November 17th, 2008 / 
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Think of every single doubt you have about yourself and your life right now. Think of every change you would need to make for everything would be ‘normal’ and for things to be back on track. Think of all the things that you do in society in order to ‘fit in’ because “that is how things are supposed to be“.
Got all your thoughts in one place? Great. Scrap them!
Living Your Life
I’ve just got back from a 3 day safari with my parents about 800km from where I stay in South Africa and had an awesome time. We didn’t get to see the big five, but we did get to see three of them: Buffalo, Elephant, Lions and a host of other animals which you will typically find on a game drive in the bush. Seeing all these different animals in a completely new environment really got me thinking, there was something in me that just thought: how happy and at peace all these animals must be with life.
Think about it:
- They don’t have to dress up or act to impress others
- They don’t care about their appearance
- There’s no ‘problems’ except those that relate to survival
- There are no social norms to conform too, except those that feel natural
Imagine if us humans could all live like that. Dress how we want and not have others judge us, or at least be completely unaware of the judgments of others and certainly not let them affect us. What if as long as we are alive (surviving) then that is all we need to feel peaceful, content and happy. Why am I speaking in terms of what if, why isn’t this the way we are living now?
It’s funny, because if you believe in the scientific theory of evolution (which I do) which states that we evolved from apes then something went wrong. Somewhere along the line we went from these peaceful, happy, care-free apes to humans with problems, standards and people to impress. In my mind, all of this stems from the ego and as our intelligence grew and species evolved - tools we used for survival such as our minds started to take over and control our thoughts and actions rather than just being a tool. I wrote a post on the ego which you can read more about in ‘The Path of Identity‘.
Being Held Back
I think there are two main issues we face in leading a life full of happiness. The first is thinking that we need things to happen to allow ourselves to feel happy. We need to win something, we need a holiday, we need a compliment or we need a pay-rise. Most of us aren’t just happy with the way things are, we don’t accept every moment for what it is, we are always looking for something better.
The second is that we need to be accepted by others, we need to look good, be funny, appear confident, dress well and have a fashionable hair-cut. These are just some examples but there are a lot of personality & visual traits that we work on simply to impress or fit in with others, rather than doing them for ourselves. This is exactly why you can go to any club on a Saturday night and you’ll see 20 men dressed exactly the same, nobody wants to try anything different for fear of standing out for the wrong reasons.
The reason we continue living like this is because we don’t know any different, our mind has always been active in our lives telling us to do this or to do that and we’ve followed that path. The reason we don’t know any different is because it feels normal so we don’t look for anything else, we are just so used to living like this now. It’s almost like we know enough about the world and don’t need change.
We Don’t Know Anything
In reality, we know absolutely nothing about the world around us, or at least nothing close to how things actually are.
1) Millions of years ago dinosaurs roamed this planet before they were all wiped out. Millions of years! We think somebody who is 60 is old but when you compare them to the life of the universe they are barely a toddler. Dinosaurs! - dinosaurs like Tyrannosaurus-Rex aren’t just something that we read about in a science book, they actually happened, and there was probably a dinosaur roaming over the spot where your home is right now. It’s quite crazy when you think about it.
2) Our planet is a dot in this galaxy. The galaxy that we currently know about is absolutely massive. The earth is literally a pencil-dot on a piece of A3 paper compared to the solar system as we know it. All of our problems and issues that we have which we think are so big and so important are literally nothing. First of all there are a few billion other people on the planet who are thinking the same thing, then there are a few billion other potential life forms out there who could all possibly feel the same.
3) Do UFO’s exist? I’m not going to get all X-Files on you guys, but just bare with me for a second. Whether UFO’s exist or not is not what I want to discuss, but whether we know they exist or not is quite crazy. With thousands of sightings across the planet of ’spaceships’ and ‘aliens’ and ‘ghosts’ and anything else you’ve heard of, none of us can know for sure whether these actually exist of if they are true. Things that are in our planet but we have no idea whether they are real and if they are then why are they here.
We don’t know for certain if there is an after-life, whether this is it or why we are here. Yet you are going to spend your life:
- Worrying what people thing
- Doing things to impress people or fit in
- Picking a career path to keep others happy, rather than doing what we want to do
This post was titled ‘How to Die a Miserable Death’ so I better give you an answer to the title. If you want to be lying on your deathbed with misery and looking back on your life thinking that you missed out, then simply do all the things mentioned in the bullet-points above.
On the grand scale of existence we know very little about why we are here and what the meaning of life actually is. Yet we all get so wrapped up in our problems, our appearance, our income or anything else that we often work on to impress others and fit into society.
Don’t you see how crazy it all is? Stop caring what people think and create your own reality. If you think I make it sound simple, then first tell me why you are making it so difficult.
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Hi Glen:
Your analogies are always interesting and I enjoyed reading your post. I agree with you in that it would be a miserable way to go. Similar words come to mind like, “Dying with your song still in you,” “You can’t run your life, why would I let you run mine,” and countless others. It isn’t just the miserable death either, it would make for a very unhappy life as well. Each of us are here to live our own life, with our own purpose. It isn’t necessarily up to society, friends or family members - but some of them, some more than others, try to make it their job to influence you otherwise, which can drive you ‘crackers’. Then you end up with another job to do on you day’s agenda, and thats to filter, at least sometimes, what others around you are saying. It can be a balancing act, or even a vicious circe. However, they need to realize that we have the where-with-all; the capacity and capabilities to make decisions for ourselves and run our own show. If we need input, we’ll seek that out too. Life is too short to please everyone else, to ignore your own sense of who you are, your happiness, and your spirit. Yes, we are here to learn from each other, but that doesn’t mean that their ideas, needs, wants, desires, etc. take precedence over your own. You’re here first, for yourself, then others. If you aren’t happy, then how can anyone around you be happy? How can you fullfill your own life’s journey with passion? How would you be able to leave the world a little better off from when you first came? Pay more attention to everyone else, be miserable and unhappy and what would you have? Such a wasted life it would be-so why would you even bother! Another thought provoking article Glen!
Excellent comment Denise, thought-provoking is never a bad thing
“You can’t run your life, why would I let you run mine,”
I love this one, is it OK if I use it in the future?
One of my other favourites:
“What people say about you is none of your business”
- Sean Stephenson
Hi Glenn: That safari sounds awesome. I completely agree that we need to stop worrying about what others think. So many spend their lives second guessing their authentic wants and desires because they’re so desperate to “fit in”. That’s no way to live.
Glenn, good article! Your last comments is definitely my favorite. Is this yours incase I need to quote you? I love it!
“If you think I make it sound simple, then first tell me why you are making it so difficult.”
Thanks for the comment Mike. Yes, that one is mine, I quite like it myself
It is simple, isn’t it, Glen. We can reach out and pull toward us that which we want to keep and experience and let all the rest just flow right on by; no worries. I love your analogy of being a speck in the universe; it’s one I’ve used, too. It really puts things in perspective!
“…thinking that we need things to happen to allow ourselves to feel happy.” Dude, that’s really what it comes down to. I do it all the time. “I’ll be so happy when…” I try to remind myself that I am where I wished I was years ago, and I told myself I’d be happy at this point. If it was good enough then, I can be happy now and still reach for more.