The Lazy Man’s Guide to Regaining Control of Your Mind
Glen / 
34 Comments / 
March 27th, 2009 / 
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I get it. You all lead busy lives packed full of the stresses of your day job, events such as birthdays, weddings, and holidays and top of that you need to make space for your social life. Because of this it can be hard to ‘find the time’ to practice things like meditation, being aware of your thoughts and other recommendations found on this site.
Some of the awesome life benefits I’ve shared here, like how to never be miserable again, improve at any task or how to find constant peace, all require some of the above practices to really learn how to control your mind and get the most out of them. So, for those of you who need a quick method in order to help in this area, I’ve got one.
Simple Facts
I’m not a fan of the word problem, but you all know what it means, so I’ll keep using it for now. The problem in life for the majority of people in this world is that we are so over-run by our mind activity that it can be hard to switch off. We get caught up in day dreams, in negativity, in tasks and other things that set our emotions running wild.
Let’s forget about all that for a second, and look at some simple facts.
Fact 1: Only negative thoughts can create negative feelings.
Fact 2: You have the ability to see the positive in every situation, yet we tend to see the negative.
Fact 3: Life is completely what you make of it. If you think of the world as a scary place, that’s exactly how it will appear to be.
Fact 4: Problems (this is why I don’t like the word) are nothing more than thoughts. If you can be completely present in this moment, you will have no problems. (Feel free to challenge me in the comments on that one if it doesn’t make sense to you).
The most important fact that you need to realise is this…
Fact 5: We can rid our lives of negativity, anxiety, stress, guilty, worry and anything else, simply by being in control of our minds, and literally choosing our thoughts and feelings.
We’ve had years of conditioning of feeling a variety of emotions, getting lost in our thoughts and resisting what is, always wishing certain things didn’t happen or weren’t going on. That’s why it can be difficult to regain control of our minds and that’s exactly why I offer tips on meditation and becoming present.
If you’ve read about those ideas but dismissed them, then maybe the following technique is for you.
The 5-Minute Mind Exercise
I have a huge grin on my face as I’m writing this; in fact I’ve had one for the last few days. Should I tell you why? OK, well…there is absolutely no reason. What reason do you need to feel great, why not just feel great?
This ability to feel great is not due to good things going on in my life, in fact, an outsider would see my situation as a bit of a mess right now, but the reason I feel great is because I can rid myself of negative feelings almost instantly. Simply by being conscious of my thoughts and through practice of using my mind as a tool, rather than being a slave to its repetitive thoughts.
5 Minute Exercise
This technique I’m going to share with you will take no more than five minutes, and it is as fun or as boring as you want to make it. It’s probably going to sound dull, but the benefits won’t become apparent unless you actually try it out.
What you need to do is pick an object, something very plain and simple, preferably with no words or images on it. Such items might include a pencil, an eraser, a fork or something else that you have around you; what you pick isn’t overly important.
Now, for around 5 minutes, you have to focus on this object as much as possible. At all times, you have to keep your attention on the object you’ve chosen. I guarantee that the first few times you try this, you’ll want to give up, your mind will say “this is boring” or you’ll get lost thinking about other things.
After you’ve tried this for a few days, you’ll notice it getting easier and easier, the first 3-4 times are the most difficult and if you’re really lazy, this is when you will give up on the exercise. All you have to do is focus on the object, not label it mentally or think about it, just be aware of it and give it your full attention.
This exercise will help you realise how little control you have over your mind, and how you and your mind are actually separate. After all, if you want to focus on the object for 5 minutes, who is having the distracting thoughts and reactions that take away your attention?
Let me know how this works out for you; try it now if you can and notice how difficult this ‘simple’ task really is. Practice of an exercise like this will allow you to begin to regain control of your mind and choose what emotions and feelings you want to experience.
Additionally, other posts like this one and this one will start to make a lot more sense and benefit you to a greater extent.
If you enjoyed this post, I would appreciate if you share it on Twitter, Facebook or Delicious!
Hiya
Cool post! Enjoyed the 5 minute meditation-like exercise. I’m patting myself on the back ‘cos I find it quite easy. Thats the benefit of years of meditating.
‘…who is having the distracting thoughts and reactions..’ is a very thought provoking statement. I often wonder amongst other things, what is the ‘internal’ source of thinking and thoughts? How much can I explore of the space that thoughts exist in?
Sounds like you’re pondering or discovering similar things.
I’m tweeting a link to your article. have a great weekend!
Thanks
Jens
Hey Jens, have you read anything by Eckhart Tolle? I think you’ll find the answers to that question
Thanks for the tweet!
Cheers – Glen
Nice post! It’s kind of an every man’s starting guide to mindfulness.
In Buddhism, the busy mind you describe is sometimes called “monkey mind”. I meditate everyday and I find it extremely helpful.
That’s a nice way of putting it Roger, I just hope that this simple exercise can help more people at least give this kind of thing a try, I’m sure they will be amazed at the results.
Hey! I started meditating just some days ago. And, yes. It did sound boring, but I have taken up the thing after all.
and yes, one more thing. When I meditate, I just let my mind wonder as much as it can. lol, things are changing for me really fast.
Hey Jaky, that’s great news. See if you can focus on your breathing while meditating, be completely in the moment. You can’t think and fully focus on your breathing at the same time.
I promise that even if you do this for five minutes, when you open your eyes, it will feel like you are in a different world.
Just to add, to everyone reading. This was my first ever experiment at posting 4 times per week, I wanted to see how it affected subscriptions, traffic and comments.
I’m not sure posting on a Friday is a good thing, so based on the results I’ll get to find out
Very nice article. This could be a great tool for people to use when they are out and about doing their daily lives and have no time or ability to get on the cushion. A very brief return to mindfulness and present moment. Excellent bru
bnw
Thanks BNW
You south african bru?
I agree with your statement about problems. I tend to look at them as opportunities.
Miracles and Blessings.
Reminds of the Churchill quote:
“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”
Wonderful title Glen.
and good post. Stumbled.
My manager never like the word “Problem” either. He chose to use the word “Challenge” in place of “Problem”
I like that, ‘situation’ and ‘challenge’ seem to be better words to use
Wow this is awesome, i’m going to work really hard at this…I have a big concentration problem, there are so many needless distractions! I know I can get work done because I want to, I’m going to do this exercise every day until i’m a pro. thanks dude.
You’re welcome Mef, let me know how it works out for you!
Nice and useful post.Good change of words to change attitude towards action.Thanks
Hey Patricia, thanks for the comment, you’re welcome!
The Power of Now can be reviewed online via Google Books
Yep, if anyone does use this though I would request that they buy a hard copy as well, it is deserved, especially if it benefits them in some way
I just gave my hardcopy to a friend & will promptly be picking up another copy this weekend.
Don’t get me wrong Eddie, I wasn’t judging you, I actually have a PDF version that I got from Scribd. It’s useful when I don’t have the hardcopy with me
Totally didn’t feel like I was being judged, just backing up your statement. This book is a must have around the house, I found myself picking it up repeatedly after I finished reading it.
As for the word ‘problems,’ each of us has, what about our perceptions; the attitudes we choose. This can often make a very big difference. It starts in our mind.
Hey Glen,I love the power of simple. Your 5 min. exercise is a perfect example. When people are searching for answers there seems to be an expectation that they will be complicated. Thanks for clearing that up. Oh, by the way, I’ve got the same grin for the same reason.
Thanks a lot Jonathan, I’m glad you liked the exercise. Haha, I’m glad you’re feeling it too
Hi Glen,
Thanks for the post!
I have a problem living in the present because my mind keeps projecting forward to when projects are completed, which means I don’t get to enjoy the process of working on the projects and end up experiencing anxiety for not having completed my projects yet.
Living in the present doesn’t simply improve your mood, but improves the quality of your life. You’ll be able to produce more and actually get things done when you accept the fact that things take time, and the future is the future and the present is the present.
I actually have a different take on positive and negative feelings. I don’t think negative feelings are a bad thing, as such. But just like physical pain, it’s our body’s way of bringing our attention to a part of our life that we need to work on. Physical pain tells us which part of our body is in danger, or needs care.
Negative emotions tell us that there is something we need to pay attention to. Anxiety is intended to push us towards action. However, negative emotions are only bad when we do not respond to them correctly. When we sulk in depression, that’s when it ends up harming us.
Taking pain-killers without identifying why we experience pain is harmful to us, in the same way we try to dispel negative feelings, without knowing why they arise and how to deal with them.
Hey Haider, I like this:
Very true, there are so many benefits to living this way. Exactly, I like the feeling of being ‘transparent’ to anything that comes over us, and just let it pass.
Thanks for the great comment!
This is great Glen. I have only just put my toe into meditation and so far it has been limited to focusing on my breathing to get into the present. I learned yesterday that by doing abdominal breathing, you can stimulate a nerve that causes your brain to release happiness neurotransmitters. No wonder it feels so good! It can be done anytime, anywhere
Unfortunately, this didn’t do anything for me. I stared at the thing for five minutes, taking note of everything about it, all its uses and every possibility attached to the object. I kept my mind focused on the object 100%, now I just feel like I’ve wasted 5 minutes that I could have used doing something a bit more constructive.
I also don’t understand how its going to get easier after a few more sessions. If anything it will be harder to concentrate on the same object week after week after exhausting all of its presence/connotations whatever…
Thanks
Chris
Just out of curiosity Chris, what were you expecting to happen to you after the 5 minutes? This is a practice that you have to keep going, which will help you keep full control over your mind. This will in-turn allow you to begin to choose your thoughts and feelings.
Exactly, now what is the benefit of this negative feeling that you have of wasting your time. If you can feel anything, why would you choose to feel bothered and like you have wasted something that doesn’t even exist.
Maybe more practice is in order, thanks for the comment.
I tend to lack the concentration to fully complete any project be it large or small or if I do complete it fully, its usually rushed or done half heartedly. I guess I was hoping this exercise would give me the ability to take rein of my mind and allow me to fully concentrate and hence fully complete the task ahead of me.
Also 2 questions:
1. Am I permitted to change the object for every session?
2: What are the parameters of fully concentrating on an object? E.g. If I am staring at an apple, is thinking of the tree it fell from counted as concentrating on it? Or should I just keep on staring saying “Apple, Apple. Apple….” ad infinitum in my mind!
In response to your second question, if I hadn’t done the exercise then I probably wouldn’t have felt like I wasted my time though knowing me, chances are I would have wasted my time doing something else!
I’d like to keep the sessions up though and practice more if only to satisfy my curiosity about such exercises (Tony Buzan and more!) and to waste my wasted time.
Thanks again,
Chris
Sure, I don’t see why not
The point is that you shouldn’t be saying anything. Just see if you can give the object your full attention without mentally labelling it or ‘talking’ to it. You will notice that this is VERY DIFFICULT at first. Which is why in the post I said:
“If you can be completely present in this moment, you will have no problems.”
Yeah, neither do you when you have your brain removed. Great advice!