11 Simple Ways To Be Extraordinarily Happy
Bud / 
55 Comments / 
May 3rd, 2010 / 
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Call me an idealist, but I’m a big believer that we have an obligation to be healthy and happy individuals. Why would you waste your time being anything different? I see far too many people go through their everyday lives wishing they were somewhere else. I know how that feels because I’ve been there too.
For much of my young life, I struggled with finding happiness. I constantly found ways to be miserable and blamed a lot of my internal problems on my close family and friends. But then something clicked.
After the passing of my best friend, I realized that my relationship with happiness needed to change. I also realized that I was the one responsible to do so. For the past few years I’ve been dedicated to making the most out of my time here.
If you’ve read my work for long, you know that I’m not a big fan of the quick fix. In fact, I honestly believe there is no such thing. Searching for the quick fix allows you to procrastinate on the area that really needs a hard look at. Yet, although there is no quick fix, many of our problems can be solved with a simple shift in mind and a bit of effort on our part.
I recently read that 50 percent of our happiness is related directly to our genetics. I’m not here to argue for or against that statistic, but to make a point: 50 percent of our happiness comes from what we can control.
I’m not going to lie and say that I don’t have my bad days, or even weeks for that matter. But I can honestly say that I am blissfully happy nearly every day. That doesn’t mean I have everything figured out, or I’m some abnormal superhuman. I’ve simply dedicated time to making my relationship with happiness the best it can be.
The following are ways that I have found to make me happy on a regular basis. It is my hope they can bring a bit of extra joy into your life as well.
Mingle With Amazing People
One of the most powerful ways to better your relationship with happiness is to surround yourself with people who want to make a difference. This may see seem like a daunting task at first, but connecting with wonderful people is effortless if you make it so.
One one of the reasons I enjoy blogging so much, is because I interact with people changing the world everyday.
Thanks to social media you don’t even need a blog to reap these benefits either. It”s easier than ever to connect with people who are following their dreams. If social media isn’t your thing, join a club. Get outside. Get involved with your community.
Stop wasting your time with people whose only goal is to bring you down. Instead surround yourself with individuals who believe in you, and want nothing more than you to succeed. The quality of your friends and family determine the quality of your life.
Application: Write down 5 people you enjoy hanging around, and 5 people you know are holding you back. Follow the first list. Or get to know these amazing people.
Accept What Is
One of the greatest sources of misery in my experience, is refusing to accept what is. How often do waste your time with questions such as: What if I had done that differently? What if I hadn’t broken up with my ex? What if yesterday had turned out differently? Stop turning your back on reality.
Whenever I’m struggling, it’s because I don’t accept what is. And I have to admit I do this far more often than I would like.
If you’re happy, accept that you’re happy. You don’t try to justify that feeling. If you’re upset, accept that you’re upset, don’t pretend you’re not. If you made a mistake embrace your imperfection, don’t beat yourself up.
As you begin to accept what is, you will find that your experiences are exactly what you need at that moment. Sure, life won’t always go according to plan, but at the end you will survive, one experience stronger.
Application: Make note of 5 truths you can’t seem to accept. Write them down. Then let go.
Befriend Failure
Many of us, myself included, are deathly afraid of failure. Instead of being afraid, ask yourself how you can make failure your friend.
I’m not going to say you will ever reach the point to where you will actually enjoy failure, but with each mistake you make there is always a lesson to be learned.
When you embrace the opportunity of failure, instead of looking at it as a weakness, you will worry less and reduce your stress significantly. Often times, we blow our shortcomings out of proportion, because we mistakenly assume that others will look down on us.
While failure isn’t always the nicest person in the room, there is no reason you can’t become friends with one of the wisest people around.
Application: Write for 30 minutes on what you’re afraid of. Why do you think this is so? Are your fears rational? Can you let them go?
Slow Down
I may sound a bit Leoish here, but the guy obviously has things figured out. This past year I’ve made a conscious effort to slow down in my actions, specifically eating, and I must admit I love the results.
Believe it or not, you can choose the pace of your day. It may take a bit or work, but you can create a daily routine that doesn’t leave you out of breathe 24/7.
Two of my good buddies at university, often like to take their time. While this bothered me originally, I soon came to appreciate the gift of being slow. I regularly take time to just sit and do nothing, and watch the world go by. Funny thing is, happiness always seems to find me when I take the time to slow down.
Application: Spend an extra ten minutes taking a shower or eating your meal. Repeat.
Do Less
This goes perfectly with consciously choosing to slow down. Is your day filled with hundreds of trivial activities? Are you spending the majority of your time reacting instead of creating?
When you begin to do less in your daily routine, you then begin actually doing activities that matter, and who doesn’t enjoy doing stuff they love?
I love writing and connecting with people, so I make it a priority to do that on a daily basis. This means I spend less time just refreshing Facebook and Twitter.
The less you do, the greater difference you can make.
Application: Cut out three tasks that you really don’t need to do today. Can you cut them out again tomorrow?
Find What Makes You Tick
Some people may not care to admit this, but I honestly believe that we each have something that makes us tick. Yet contrary to popular belief, your passion won’t always just fall into your lap.
While it’s true some people just discover what they love, many of us have to do some searching. Not knowing what makes you happy, is the surest way to remain stuck in a miserable state.
Finding what you enjoy to do is fairly easy. If you enjoy a certain activity (assuming it’s legal of course) continue doing it. I realize that is overly simplistic, but you get the idea.
Don’t worry about what your family or friends think, but rather focus on what brings you joy. I’m not suggesting you be selfish or hurtful in your pursuits, but it’s important you take care of yourself so you can give your fullest to the world.
Application: Do an activity you enjoy everyday without fail for a month. Write for 30 minutes each day. Knit every night before bed. Pick up that book you’ve been dying to read. What ever brings a smile to your face.
Read More
I can attribute much of my attitude and overall view on life to having a passion for reading. In the past several years I’ve read nearly 50 books, all of which have allowed me a tremendous opportunity for growth.
It doesn’t matter what you read, as long as it is inspiring and relevant to you. Although I suggest, you avoid material that is filled with negativity or superficial views of the world. I can’t tell you how many new ideas and goals I’ve come up with right after I read a wonderful book. Reading pushes you outside your comfort zone and forces you to contemplate different ideas and beliefs.
While reading isn’t everyone’s thing, there is no reason you can’t take advantage of audiobooks if needed.
Application: Spend 30 minutes everyday consuming inspiring material whether it be reading or audio. If you’re into blogs, here are five I read on a regular basis:
Stop Watching The News
I realize I’m not the first to suggest going on a news fast, but I have no doubt news is a leading source of negativity.
Obviously, I don’t suggest we turn a blind eye to the problems of the world, but constantly being reminded of them 24/7 isn’t going to get anything done.
Do you know of anyone who works better while depressed? I know I don’t. Instead of focusing on what’s wrong, tune into your inspiration and create solutions to the woes of the world.
I check the news maybe once every few weeks, the rest of the time I have my friends tell me. You don’t need to watch the news for two weeks to know there is suffering in the world.
That being said, I know we have a long way to go to make this world a better place, and it starts with you.
Application: Go on a one week news fast. No T.V. No news websites. I promise you’ll be happier for it.
Stretch
This is something, I’ve only recently picked up, but I can say it gives me a great start to my day.
Stretching is often overlooked, but it is a powerful way to quickly become present. You don’t have to be a slinky to enjoy the benefits of stretching. The more you stretch the easier it is to get around in your daily activities.
As soon as you get up, throw your arms to the sky and inhale deeply. Bend down and try to touch your toes. Loosen up your body that’s been still for an entire night. Do a few jumping jacks. Move your neck around in circles. Stretch!
Application: Stretch 15 minutes as soon as you get up every morning.
Get Outside
It is scientifically proven, that those who spend at least an hour a day outside are more happy then those who lock themselves into the darkness of their homes.
Disconnect from the computer and turn off the T.V. Go for a bike ride. A long walk. Have a neighborhood barbecue. Realize that you aren’t meant to be stuck in your house for the entire day.
Go to a park. People watch. Go swimming. The opportunities are endless.
Application: Spend at least 1 hour outside doing an activity you enjoy. Bonus: Bring a friend of family member along.
Choose To Be Happy
The scariest thing in the world is knowing that your results in life are primarily a function of your past decisions and actions. Accept the fact, the reality that you can live the life you want by taking the right actions, reject it, and you will continue to live under your means. Of course, there are things in our lives that we cannot control, yet for the most part, your actions or lack of them are responsible for your present circumstances.
You don’t have to live in a constant state of worry of fear. You don’t have to live with your dreams suppressed in the cage that you won’t open.
You have a choice. You can accept responsibility for your own fulfillment or you can continue to slog through life day by day.
While there is no formula to happiness I do know this:
You have more control than you think. Will you choose happiness?
If you enjoyed this post, I would appreciate if you share it on Twitter, Facebook or Delicious!
Totally agree with “mingle with amazing people”. Even just the most amazing people that you know. It will have an amazing effect on you more than you can imagine. Great post this one.
It’s sometimes hard to let the people holding you back go, but the benefits are amazing.
I think the real key is the last one: choose to be happy. You have to really think about it and let it sink in until it becomes a part of you.
“Come what may, I will be happy.” – A tenet of the Art of Living
I put a quote that I think I read on Zen Habits on my Mac OS X dashboard (on a sticky).
“Stop waiting for happiness, happiness is right here, right now.”
I looked at that everyday for a while until it really sank in. Happiness is not a job, career goal, hot date, or objective to be achieved “one day.” It’s right here, right now, waiting for you to claim it.
Opening your eyes does wonders
I completely agree. The key to happiness first and foremost is to choose to be happy.
Heya Bud!
It can take a long time to realize that happiness comes from within. I used to look for external things to make me happy, like money, gadgets, friends or girls, but only recently have I learnt and realized that the only way for me to be happy is to find it in my heart.
Thanks for the link!
Have a great week ahead!
Diggy
Dude. You keep showing up in the spam folder.. What’s up with that? =P
Hope all is well dude.
Some great points Bud.
I especially agree with “accepting what is”. Too often we are emotionally dishonest with ourselves. We push negative feelings like fear and sadness to one side, ignoring them until they rear their ugly heads once more.
Instead we should acknowledge these emotions, however painful they may be, and understand their root cause. Only then can we effectively deal with them.
I also like your idea of “slowing down”. It is so easy to take the simplest things in life granted. Slowing down our lives allows us to appreciate the beauty of each and every one of these little things. We learn to savor a meal instead of just eating it, to stroll to work instead of just walking there and to perceive instead of just seeing.
Jay
Slowing down isn’t my idea.
Thanks for stopping by Jay.
Hope all is well.
Right, my mistake.
It’s still a fantastic idea though!
I love to mingle with amazing people. People who just want to make others happy, make other enthusiast. Love it!
Eleminate the happiness-suckers out of your life and bring some amazing people in, you will feel a difference!
Not as easy it sounds.. but you’re absolutely right Stefan.
Befriending failure is pithy, precise, and powerful.
It’s the simple things that make a difference.
I always aim to chose happiness but now and again I need a reminder that it’s within my power to make that choice. You’ve got a lot of great suggestions in here, most of which I try to put into play in my own life. I’ve been focusing on the “doing less” lately by shortening the length of my to do list, clearing my schedule, and shedding excess possessions. It makes me feel more focused and lighter and it also reminds me of the abundance in my life.
Glad I could help Jean.
Great ideas all around, but I have to caution you on the use of one broad statement: “accept what is.”
Eek! Acceptance of the status quo makes social change impossible. No voting women, workin slaves, abused children and wives, opressed countries–this is a world without people who challenge what is.
I haven’t missed your point, though, and it’s a verrry good one, indeed. I just prefer to give it context:
Lord, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
The courage to change the things that I can;
And the wisdom to know the difference.
—Reinhold Niebuhr
I’m not one for prayer or religion, but it’s hard not to appreciate the simple brilliance of this.
Oh, I also beg of everyone NOT to spend ten more minutes in the shower! There are plenty of other ways to slow down and indulge in life without wasting precious earthly resources…
Hey Sylvia!
You bring up some VERY good points.
To further clarify: When I say accept what is: I don’t mean not to strive for change but rather accept what is NOW. Then move towards reform.
Maybe I should change it to: Take a bath for 10 minutes longer!
Hi Bud.
I agree about finding what makes us tick. When I do one of the few items that I really enjoy, it is a unique experience for me that provides what doing an abundance of other activities could not provide. I make sure to do one of the 2 or 3 things that fits into this category almost every day.
I would agree with reading more. For me, the category to continue in is the books that I normally find, which are almost always nonfiction. I was thinking yesterday or so about how I found some great books and information when looking through one library or another, and I would have missed out had I not searched for it and done the reading. I would rather miss out on a lot of things than reading information or research I didn’t know about.
Hi Bud,
Thanks for the very interesting post. Here are a few thoughts:
1. I completely disagree with whoever said that 50% of our happiness is due to our genetics. I have not seen a correlation between how happy ones parents are and how happy their children are. I think it’s much better to approach life from the standpoint that we are 100% in control of our own happiness. This will eliminate any excuses.
2. Mingle with amazing people – I COMPLETELY agree. If we want to see who we are, all we have to do is look around at the people that we are surrounding ourselves with.
3. Befriend failure – I actually don’t even like to use the term failure. I think failure is when you don’t try. If you have a non-success, then as you mentioned you can still learn something from it which is good.
4. Slow Down/Do Less – GREAT advice! I love minimalism.
5. Stop Watching The News – AMEN! It’s so nice to be free of the negativity.
Hey Greg! You wrote a lot here..
1. While I do not have a scientific background, I’ve read from numerous sources this to be the case. That being said, I too, believe that we should accept full responsibility for our lives.
What I think you miss is that just because happiness *may* be 50 percent generic doesn’t mean that if your parents are happy their children will be, as well as the other way around.
A simplified example: If I’m genetically 50 percent “happy” I could have the other 50 percent focusing on the bad in life etc.
I get your point and agree with you but just some food for thought.
Thanks for your comment man.
I agree. I’m going outside and mingle with some girls right now. Nice post bud. Truly and inspiration to me! keep on keeping on!
Slowing down. Absolutely my favourite. Nothing is simpler or gives you as much immediately.
I think the best advice your post gave me was “Do Less”. It’s too often that I’m reading a lot in the internet, not spending my time consciously as time flies by.
thank you
Glad I could help man.
lol. ditto on that too man.
I definitely need to “Do Less”, ie: doing what truly, really matters to me, instead of endlessly drifting (read: browsing, watching TV) while feeling empty & purposeless in life.
Micely written blog-article,
I even feel like I have to share this with my friends & family!
And one of the best sentence of yours that I’ve even shared on my Facebook walls is this one:
“Instead of focusing on what’s wrong, tune into your inspiration and create solutions to the woes of the world.”
You are very wise, my friend
Keep writing & sharing!
I was sent your link by one of my children’s teachers. Fabulous article! Thanks so much! I am new to blogging and was hoping you would allow me to put your article on my blog. I would of course give you credit but was wondering if it is okay for me to intersperse my own examples among your 11 ways or if that breaks some kind of “blogging etiquette.” I’m a bit out of the loop on this stuff. Thanks for your consideration! Warmly, Jennifer
PS(I don’t make money off my blog. In fact I have it hidden from g*oogle searches, etc. so there is no direct benefit to me or you if you give me permission…just so you know. I blog for my family, who lives far away and can’t see my little ones growing up.)
You’re more than welcome to talk about my article on your blog.
Thanks for stopping by Jennifer. Let me know if you need any help with your blog!
Great article, I particularly agree with “Slow Down” and “Befriend Failure”
Often we find ourselves too concerned with the future, or too caught up in the past to focus on the now and be grateful for the current moment. Slowing down and focusing on these things definitely help to be happy as a result
Thanks!
I loved that you said, accept what is, and choose to be happy. I once wrote an article based entirely on how happiness is a choice rather than a state of being.
A very inspiring piece. You raised some valid points.
sorry for english, i’m polish reader
“Find What Makes You Tick”
I think thats the hardest part for me. Im searching such thing for over 2 years and…no results. Any articles, advices how to find that?
Hey! What’s your email. I’d love to chat with you. Mine’s
propertyofbud at gmail.com
Here’s mine arathunku at gmail.com I’ve sent you a message
My first reaction Bud, is there is a whole book in this post it’s so significant. Points like Slow Down and Stretch would be brilliant chapters and the advice to stay away from the news is alchemy. It’s a sensationalistic over dramatised horror film on every day. Could you expand this into an e-book because I believe it would be a winner? I write on the simple ethic and this is true simple as it works on many levels for everyone. Excellent, well done, loved reading it.
Thanks for the kind words John. Perhaps sometime in the future.
I still feel avoiding “News” is a bit of an ostrich, head in the sand approach. As well as newspapers, radio, occasional TV, I have news feeds on my google/ig home page! Been engaged in the world around, in society at large, I feel is part of being complete as an interactive human. To me happiness is a side effect of doing what is worthwhile and meaningful to us, not something you can strive for in itself.
I do a lot of work on through Amnesty International, writing letters to help free prisoners of conscience. I could not do this if I didn’t allow myself to hear about their very negative, depressing stories. I’m probably happier knowing I’ve done something useful to try and help, rather than pretend they don’t exist.
Hey Dave. Some good points. I’m not for turning your back on the problems of the world. But in all honesty how many times do you have to hear there was an earthquake in Chile? How many times do you have to hear about the latest celebrity drama? How many times do you to hear about all the negative news in the world? Where’s all the stories of people doing great things?
Look at CNN right now and I can bet you that nearly 75 percent (if not more) of the headlines have a negative connotation. Because it SELLS. Excessive? I think so.
I maybe check news once a week at most and yet I still find myself more informed than most of my friends/family who check everyday. When you cut down your news time you will focus on stories that actually matter, not one’s that are simply trying to scare you or sell you something.
Again, I’m not suggesting we turn a blind eye.. but at the same time we have to focus on the love aspect before we can begin to create meaningful change.
P.S That’s really cool what you’re doing with Amnesty International. Respect.
Good post, Bud.
I think it is very dangerous and irresponsible to tell people to stop watching the news. I think a critical flaw in your argument is the assumption that all news is negative, sensationalized, or repetitive. The news comes in more forms than just CNN. I tune into the news every day (partially because I’m a journalist and partially because I am a self-proclaimed news junkie) and I find myself saddened, but also empowered with the information that I learn.
Perhaps an alternative suggestion would be to “refine” the news you choose to expose yourself to. It’s easy (especially with the internet) to become overwhelmed with repetitive stories or entertainment-style news, but with the right filters and honest, credible news sources, reading the news can actually be enjoyably and fulfilling.
Some news sources that I follow that I personally think are better than CNN!
BBC News – http://www.bbc.co.uk
The New York Times – http://www.nytimes.com
The Los Angeles Times – http://www.latimes.com
The Huffington Post – http://www.huffingtonpost.com
Time Magazine – http://www.time.com
TreeHugger (Environmental News) – http://www.treehugger.com
Foreign Policy (International Relations News) – http://www.foreignpolicy.com
Vicki.. You bring up an excellent point.. About refining which news you read. Obviously, again, I’m not suggesting we turn a blind eye on the problems of our world, but over indulging ourselves in the news won’t do any good.
Do you really find yourself empowered by reading the news? Just curious.
Bud,
Yes, I do. While reading the news may seem like it would make one feel helpless about all of the problems in the world, I instead think that every fact or opinion I come across diversifies the way I see the world. As Immanuel Kant once said, “Have the courage to know!”
Vicki
Great blog – I really like your suggestions. Slowing down is something few people do these days – as technology advances, there are more and more demands on our time! I also find a great way to be happy is to regularly practice gratitude – be grateful for the things we have in life and spend time reflecting on great experiences we have had in life.
Hi Bud,
another great article, but it makes me wonder at what age can you expect to be able to understand it.
I have a pretty good gut-understanding of the points you make, and the only real thing that keeps bugging me is my 10 year old son. I try to teach him these principles of happiness but somehow I am not often getting through and he picks actions and attitudes that make him rather unhappy. Could ten year old be too young? Otherwise this guy is pretty darn smart (I know, all parents believe this of their kids
but somehow that simple idea that he has a choice how to react to a situation seems incomprehensible. Any ideas?
Cheers,
Merlin
Let him find happiness himself.
So true!
and if he does not this time around that would be fine too – it just depends on how I perceive it, right?
happiness is how we organize our mind. Just keep your goal in your subconscious.. you’ll be good to go
As they say: obstacles is what you see when you take your mind off your goal!
Okay. I’m very upset with Google. I didn’t see the trackback for this until I was just scanning my Analytics. I’m beyond honored for this mention, Bud – with some great company here. Especially dig Maren Kate & her gig.
To comment on your article here, would love to emphasize the point you made about get outside–it’s something so simple, but something we’ve been doing less and less, and without really realizing the impact, I think. The internet is such a powerful tool, but I think we’ll be seeing it altering us in ways we can’t even imagine in the future.
Fresh air? Good idea. Go get some.
Don’t be mad at Google.
Thanks for the comment Ashley. Big things in the future.
Okay. I’m very upset with Google. I didn’t see the trackback for this until I was just scanning my Analytics. I’m beyond honored for this mention, Bud – with some great company here. Especially dig Maren Kate & her gig.
To comment on your article here, would love to emphasize the point you made about get outside–it’s something so simple, but something we’ve been doing less and less, and without really realizing the impact, I think. The internet is such a powerful tool, but I think we’ll be seeing it altering us in ways we can’t even imagine in the future.
Fresh air? Good idea. Go get some.
I must definitely agree about going out for at least one hour. When we are really young are moms and fathers are spending a lot of time with us out of home. But when we are getting older and starting to use a computer or TV then we forgot about how important it is. We should also make some movement – not only sitting down.
The other thing that I have personally noticed is about TV News. You are absolutely right – there is no need to watch it. Almost all newses are about bad things that happen in the world. Let be honest: what would you get for knowing about the train or plain crash? Or about that stock market is going down (if you are not involve)? Our life should be much happier than what we can see in news. Every day people are dying so we should spend more times with them instead of spending in front of computer.
in fact,i agree with all the points,especially mingling with amazing peoeple.eventhough am married i realized that there peoeple i have met b4 i married that i can never get,that even wen my hubby make me angry i call them to be happy.infact i sometime regret why i didnt marry one of them.
nice post