Start Taking Your Own Advice
Glen / 
22 Comments / 
December 3rd, 2009 / 
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Note from Glen: Sorry for the lack of posting this week. I am now finally settled into my life in Amsterdam and absolutely loving it here. The people are so friendly, the nightlife is awesome and travelling itself is just an exciting experience. The only downside about this place is the price – I honestly don’t think I could save money on a $3,000 per month budget. But hey, I’m here to enjoy it, and I thank you all for joining me on the journey!
Some of you will know that I take part in a weekly mastermind group. We don’t actually think of it as a mastermind group (we call it a Fantastic Four) but it is still an excellent resource to communicate with like-minded people. Our ‘Fantastic Four’ consists of four people who are venturing into their own businesses, and we give each other advice from our own experiences in both life and wealth.
My own mastermind group involves a writer, a life coach, and a musician. Not necessarily people who are directly relevant to my own business insights, but people with a lot of knowledge to share and whom I have met in person. Each week, we will take it in turns to have our own projects and business ideas discussed.
The person who is going to have their business discussed makes it easier for both themselves and the group by filling in a little sheet before we start. This sheet tells us things like:
- What weaknesses this person has
- What strengths they think they have
- What opportunities are available to them business-wise
- What is a threat to their success
- And any other specific questions they might have
This sheet tells us a lot about each person and gives us insights into their current situation. It’s also beneficial for the person who is filling out the sheet to see an overview of their drawbacks, benefits, and what opportunities they have to grow.
Taking Your Own Advice
Around two weeks ago it was my turn to have my business discussed. At the time, I had quite a few ‘issues’ that were bothering me. The first was that I was completely overloaded with work and only had a couple of days to get a lot of things done before leaving the UK.
The second was that I had a lot of work to do whilst on my travels and I thought this would ruin my own journey around the world. Finally, I needed to improve my time management as, despite having a lot of work to do, I wasn’t getting much done each day (although I felt very productive).
The feedback from the group was amazing. (Although I’ve shared links to these guys, you can’t steal them). I completely changed my belief about the work I had to do while travelling at the same time. I received some great time management tips and I also took down pages of notes from the call.
Something that surprised me, however, was how much of the advice I received is something that I have said myself. Now, don’t think I’m disrespecting the advice I received, but it was very similar to what I have blogged about before or I would have said to someone in the same situation.
I realised then that it’s very easy to get wrapped up in looking for answers on other blogs, Twitter, Google, Yahoo Answers or in even less-geeky sources such as you family or friends. If you have the capability of getting great advice from others, take it.
What I’m saying is that first of all: don’t forget to look within. Assume that whatever problem you have now is a friend coming to you with advice for that same issue. What would you tell them? What should be their next step? How can they get over it?
I’m finding that time and time again that if I just start taking my own advice and putting it into action, things begin to happen. Things work themselves out. I get the results that I want.
I’m not saying you should go and ignore all of the other sources (such as blogs like this) out there but make yourself your first port of call. Don’t disregard the millions of things you have learned throughout your many years on earth.
P.S. Here are 1, 2, 3 and 4 pics from Amsterdam so far, if you’re interested.
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I love this advice… to look within and trust ourselves (and then DO it). It’s a bit like the old, “Do as I say, not as I do” adage. We find it easier to advise others on their issues and their lives, even though we may not be taking our own (often brilliant) advice.
Human nature, I suppose. I don’t worry about you one bit, though. You will definitely work it out.
You know what’s missing in that first picture? Rosa.
Hey Glen,
Great post! The suggestion to ask yourself “what if a friend came to me with this problem?” is priceless. I think most of us are better at giving advice to others than to ourselves (I know I am).
What I personally experience often, is that I somehow drop good habits. Down the road, I find myself with problems and realize that I actually already know the solution to them and have already applied it in the past.
Can I ask: How did you go about putting together the mastermind group? Were you already friends with the participants?
Lol, nice facial expression in the last pic! Anyway that’s a great point to follow at least our own advice.
Hey Glen!
Your advice on taking on our own advice is great – we should take our own advice a few times and run with it, not paying attention to others. If we succeed and turn out to be right? Great. If we fail? Well, at least we had faith in ourselves and can turn to friends or colleagues for their advice for any problems we have. The key is to trust our own intuition first, then seek help.
P.S. I think I see the claw in the 4th picture? I can’t really tell
Glen,
Right on the nose yet again. I seem to help out my friends a lot but sometimes forget to take my own advice. I will start looking with-in first from now on.
Vince
I’ve seen this shift happen in myself as well. I’m beginning to listen to myself more. Almost like I have the answers already. I know that sounds weird, but it works. Even though I am wrong sometimes, the key is taking action. Funny you posted this right now, good timing!
Hi Glen,
Glad you are enjoying life in the Netherlands!
As Vince says above, you are on the nose again. I suppose it is the old “practice what you preach” saying. Going to have to go back through my old blog posts and see what I can learn!
Rich
As the writer in the four described above, I’d also like to say that Glen has already taught me so much, and his input on the calls has been wonderful.
We all met at a workshop, but on the day itself there was little time to get to know each other. Finding three other people who know exactly what it feels like to face similar fears, strive for similar goals, yet with completely different spheres of experience is fantastic. It’s also a great way to make friends
I also wanted to second the idea of treating your current problem like a friend – in the past when I have been beating up on myself, my best friend once said “If I came to you with the same issues, would you treat me the same way?” I was so shocked; when I reframed it that way I realised that I have completely different (and unreasonable) standards for myself, and a total lack of compassion. So treating yourself emotionally as you would a close friend can be a great companion to the search for advice from within too.
Emma – I really like your comment! You know, that’s something I struggle with a lot…being too hard on myself. Yet, I’m always SUPER supportive of others and concerned with how they’re doing. I guess I don’t treat myself the same way, which I should probably start doing.
I think that’s why a lot of people give up. They just don’t give themselves enough credit and are overly critical of themselves. Good advice there, thanks.
Hey Glen!
Yeah indeedeo, it is rather pricey here but so far its totally worth it:)
I agree with the fact that your own advice is often very good, but when it comes to crunch time, you can lose sight of the whole situation you are in and do dumb,illogical things instead of doing what you would say to someone else who is exactly in your position. I wonder why this happens.
Ciao!!!!
Hey Glen,
The reason it’s easy to give advice to others is we’re not emotionally invested. We can objectively look at the situation.
The strategy to effectively using your own advice is to try to be as objective as possible about yourself. However, it’s difficult because we’re so emotionally wrapped up in our own situation.
What has helped me is to look at my own situation immediately after I’m done helping a friend out. I’m still fresh in the objective mindset, so utilize that to look at my problem, or how I can improve my life/business/etc. I just end up applying the same advice to myself before the emotional attachment begins to creep back in.
How about you, Glen? Any tips for using our own advice? What method(s) have been effective for you?
Oleg
PS. Glad you’re enjoying your Amsterdam experience so far. From my too-brief visit a few years back, I too remember the people being laid-back and friendly. It was a lot of fun crossing the canal on that free ferry next to the train station and biking the Greater Amsterdam villages and farms.
Well, many have already said it, but this is something I find happens to me quite a bit – I’ve grown to accept that it often will take someone else telling me what I already know in order for me to see it; hence why I read blogs like yours – and quickly I add in that I’m not disrespecting your advice, lol, not at all, much new is found here too and even if it wasn’t, it’s invaluable to find someone, or a group of people who are able to say things in a way that ’speaks’ to me.
I think the mastermind group sounds great, something I love to get going for myself and others…
Have fun in Amsterdam – my sister lives there and seems to love it too.
I write a blog for artists on the business and marketing of art.
One of the things I tell artists is that to get good at your craft, you have to practice it daily. Something that all of our mothers told us!
I also tell them not to get discouraged when criticized, or when things go wrong.
Then I went on a writer’s retreat,and my writing was strongly criticized. I was despondent – and said “I quit writing! I suck! I can’t write!”
Then, I remembered my own advice to artists – Commit to your craft, Don’t give up, never stop. Keep on the path and you’ll find it.
It’s funny – taking your own advice is not as easy as giving it sometimes!
But, it was the right advice, and I took it, and I’m back on the path to becoming a 2x published writer….
Dear Glen:
Funny thing that you wrote this article, because I wrote an article on the exact same topic earlier on.
Taking your own advice kicks butt! Here is why:
– When we give advice to another person, we provide them with an outside perspective on their situation. Outside perspective is usually very valuable and can help the other person deal with their issues effectively.
Of course there are many other reasons, but outside perspective seems to be the most crucial.
Thanks for writing!
Best,
Tomas
Mate, thats an expensive place to live. Shift yourself over to Asia where it is substantially cheaper
I am
Guys are you serious? You really think A’dam is pricey? Some people here have to get by with a monthly salary of 1000-1500 euros per month.
About what you say, the advice you if someone is in the same situation.
What I’m saying is that first of all: don’t forget to look within.”
Perhaps you shouldn’t look within, but go out. Look from another point of view to yourself and see what you can do. You actually wrote a post on this one time I guess!
Interesting. Can i ask, where did you find this “mastermind” group? Are there any sites online where i could find people who are interested in that as well??
I agree though, sometimes what we need to do is take some distance, reflect a bit on the live we live and then actually DO the things we set out to do.
Nice post Glen.
I’ve seen Tom Hoobyar recommend the group coaching approach before for its great effects. Having group members from disparate industries also provides innovative solutions (which a single industry group may not consider).
Taking on board ’self advice’ is a key element when managing reportees. I work as a project manager and often have reportees asking technical questions to me – the optimum approach I’ve found is to help them find the answer for themself. This form of mentoring encourages the self-starter mindset.
Rod
Well said! Something I’ve been working on following myself. We are, ultimately, our own greatest source of inspiration and information.