The Speech That Never Was: This Is It
Glen / 
26 Comments / 
May 25th, 2009 / 
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Something many of you will know about me by now is that I really try to make the most of life and take advantage of this opportunity I have on earth. Part of making the most of life, to me, is facing your fears and really going for what you want, even if it scares you. That is something I did around 6 months ago when I joined a public speaking club.
A meeting at the club usually involves 4 people each giving an 8 minute speech and then 4 other members evaluating them. After that, everyone else who would like to speak is given a random topic which they have to speak about for 2 minutes.
Being quite new to the club I had yet to make a longer speech, but my chance came when I was asked to put together a talk for the next meeting. Originally, I had written a speech about making goals and being able to achieve them; something I like to think I’ve been successful at. Within a few days I had put the whole thing together and just needed to start practicing it.
Around four days before the event, I was putting the finishing touches to my presentation and recording my efforts. It was at this time that I received a phone call to let me know that my gran, who had been in hospital for a few weeks, had sadly passed away.
It was at that moment that I decided to change the topic of my speech, aptly entitled: This is it. The meeting where I was supposed to give my talk ended up being cancelled so I never had the chance to present it. Therefore I’ve decided to share the talk with you all in this blog post in the hope that each of you can take something from it.
I have modified the speech slightly as text for a speech is quite different to text for a reader, but the main messages should still come across clearly.
Without further ado, here is the speech just after I had explained about my choice of topic…
I didn’t want to speak about death for 8 minutes; instead, I want to focus on problems – the things that usually seem so small in times of serious matters.
In order to talk about problems effectively, I decided to look at the three phases of time that our perceived problems come in: the past, the future, and the present.
The Past
Something highly obvious, but often forgotten about the past is that it is nothing more than a memory in your imagination. You can only ‘relive’ the past by thinking about it; you can’t go there, you can’t change it, and it will always be as it is.
Yet, while the past is nothing more than part of our imagination, it still has a strong hold on people in this present moment.
First of all, people define themselves by their past. Someone might say: “people made fun of me at school so I must be a loser now” or “I’ve never had a boyfriend or girlfriend so why should I be able to get one now” or even “I’ve had no lucky breaks come my way so why would that change”. We use the past to create limiting beliefs thinking that we can’t do such and such now because we’ve never done it before, and so on.
Secondly, we hold on to problems of the past. Some people who have had a hard childhood never seem be able to forget about the struggle that they’ve went through and it makes them miserable. Even something more recent, like having an argument with a colleague a few days ago, can still bring us down in this moment. This happens simply because we’re thinking about it and those thoughts can bring the exact same emotions as the actual event.
Thinking about the past or letting the past control our present isn’t the only thing that holds people back. There’s also the future.
The Future
If the past is nothing more than a memory of what has happened, then the future is nothing more than some projected thought of what might or should happen.
There are two aspects to ‘future’ thinking that people allow to control them and create problems in their lives. The first is that we worry about a possible event. When I had finished my speech I was getting worried about the possible reactions and how well it would go. I was comfortable and in my home, with nothing bad going on, yet there I was creating negative future projections and letting them bring my mood down in that moment. I was getting stressed at nothing more than mind made projections.
Secondly, we hope for salvation in the future. We tell ourselves that the future will bring happiness and wealth and fulfilment or anything else we desire. We use the future as some kind of scapegoat. Thinking that as soon as a certain event happens that we can be at peace or start enjoying life and being happy. We spend this moment now waiting for good things to happen in some other moment.
The Present
If we cling to the problems of our past, and worry about what might be in the future, where do we find happiness and live problem free? That’s simple…this moment, right here, right now.
Before I get into that, I want to look at our tendency as humans to label and react to things. Without trying to cause too much controversy, my personal view is that every situation is completely neutral.
To help you understand that, let me ask you a question:
If a young girl gets hit by a car, is that positive, negative or neutral (neutral meaning it is what it is) ? The obvious response to that is that it’s negative, the girl should not get hit by the car, it just shouldn’t happen. Now what if the girl getting hit by a car allowed doctors to find a tumour that they would haven’t of otherwise found out about and managed to save her life. Is the car crash still negative, is it positive, or is it…what it is.
Regardless of your answers to that, what I’m getting at is that it’s completely up to you how you look at and react to things. You can see things negatively, which we tend to do, we can see things positively, or we can accept things as they are, and deal with the things we can deal with.
Even today, there are probably so many irrelevant little incidents that got each of us in a bad mood. The learner driver in front of you was going too slowly, your boss gave you a task to do that you didn’t like, your child made a mess when making breakfast and so on. We resist these things, we resent people and we constantly complain internally because we’ve already labelled the thing or person as ‘bad’.
Did you know, most car accidents aren’t caused by drivers who are under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Most car accidents are caused by drivers in emotionally charged states. For example, their football team may have just lost, they might have had an argument with their partner or something else that gets their adrenaline pumping before stepping into a car. They can’t let go of what has happened and be in the moment and instead hold onto their problems.
It is this kind of holding on to the past which causes fatal accidents.
Instead of holding on to incidents and let them control you, try to be here in the moment, as often as possible. Take in this situation, this moment, right now. You’re safe, you’re probably indoors and there are no problems you can have right now. You might think you had one 2 minutes ago, or you might think something will come up in 10 minutes, but right now, there are no problems. (See post for more info)
What eastern philosophy and spiritual teachers have been trying to tell us for a long time is pretty simple: now is all there ever is. Now is the only constant, it is never not now. I have practically eliminated “problems” from my life by trying to live in the moment as often as possible and not letting my thoughts bring me down.
Instead of holding onto problems of the past, instead of disregarding this moment because you think happiness is found in some perfect future – come back to this moment. Take in your environment, be in it, soak it all up. You’ll be surprised when you find peace and happiness in the most simple of situations.
Just like with my gran, we never know when our time is up. Make the most of this opportunity that we call life: this is it.
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The Power of Now.
My second favourite book
What is the first?
Psycho Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz, it has sold around 40 million copies now and for good reason. They are on two very different topics though.
Great speech Glen. Too bad you weren’t able to give it to your group, they’d have gotten plenty inspired!
Now you’ll just have to settle with inspiring 100k or so people online, I guess.
Hey Joshua, great to see you over here on the blog and not just on Twitter
100k? I would be very happy with that figure
Thanks for your comment!
Damn dude.. ten years from now you are going to be standing on stage giving your speeches to millions.
“What eastern philosophy and spiritual teachers have been trying to tell us for a long time is pretty simple: now is all there ever is.”
What a powerful quote.
As sad as your Grandma’s death may be, I’m glad you learned something from it. About a year ago, I witnessed the death of my friend in a jet ski accident. I had a similar transformation in my thinking. We should never take tomorrow for granted.
Love your style man. Keep inspiring. You will go far.
In all honesty, I was not close with my gran, but her passing helped to put things into perspective for me.
I’m sure that would have had quite a strong impact on you, especially being so young. Thanks a lot for the kind words Bud!
I have some exciting plans to take this “inspiration” a step further when I start travelling so stay tuned
Wow. You pretty much summed up what has been on my mind for the past few weeks as well, ever since reading Steven Taylor’s Making Time book and few other articles related to living in a moment.
Also, if you’ve not seen it yet here’s an excellent speech on the same topic: http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/matthieu_ricard_on_the_habits_of_happiness.html
That’s great to hear Sami, thanks a lot for your comment. I love the TED talks so will definitely check out the video
– Glen
Wonderful post! It’s so important to live in the present moment (and positively if you can). I actually wrote a post not too long ago called “this IS it” that you might find interesting: http://positivelypresent.typepad.com/positively_present/2009/04/this-is-it.html
i used to hate public speaking. then i started loving it. specially impromptu ones. like a freestyle rap
taught me so much.
really cool choice of topic…
i like the way you put the past, so many ways to put it but as a memory is super true and to the point. and elegant.
…and translates to the future analogy really well.
the girl getting hit by a car example was super interesting. made me stop and think for a second. interesting annecdote i remember about beliefs from a varsity course was that most people get a belief from society or tv or whatever – they take it on – and THEN they make up reasons for having it. like they get the belief and THEN think of reasons for having it. crazy.
…althought i guess it’s easy to just say the past is a memory, but when you remember “this is it” you don’t have to see the past as anything because you’re not in the past, you’re in this. this is it.
power stuff. super inspiring.
alex – unleash reality
Shame you didn’t get to make the speech Glen, but I’m glad you chose to share it with us.
I think from time to time life dishes up something that makes us pull up short, to stop and think. For you it was the loss of your Gran, for me it was the loss of a friend, and I hope you don’t mind me sharing the post here about Boatman Pete:
http://www.mikeslife.org/content/why-you-should-do-it-now-story-boatman-pete
That is a motivating post Mike, thank you for sharing it and thanks for the comment
Hi Glen,
This is a great article and I believe it will also be a great speech. Most of the time returning to the present will make the problems we face seem small. Because I believe that as long as we are healthy and living in the present, there is no problem.
Cheers,
Vincent
This is a very nice article Glen. I think I first read this idea about problems not existing in the present in a book by Dr. Robert Anthony. It was a little strange at first glance but I think I finally got it.
Hey Stephen, I can relate to that. I remember the first time I came across this concept I completely dismissed it and couldn’t grasp it at all.
It really depends on how it is explained to you though, and I recommend The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle if you’ve never read it.
Hi Glen, that’s a very consciousness-raising speech. It’s a pity you didn’t get to present to the group – I’m glad you got to share with us though. You are spot on when you say many do not live in the present moment (I get caught up in the past/future myself too) – I find meditation helps quite a bit in getting me to be present.
I’m sorry to hear about your loss too – I hope everyone is coping well with it.
“Like the grains of sand in an hourglass…these are the days of our lives”
hehe:)
Life is right now…this moment.
Learn from the past, plan for the future, but live in the present.
Anything has the potential to be good or bad, like the example with the girl. I guess this is not really your topic, but if you take the chaos theory, then one tiny action can have a ripple-effct of consqequences, like the girl being hit by the car might cause the ambulance that is coming to fetch her crash into some important lawyers car and kill him in a fatal accident, which would cause a mass murderer to escape with a mild sentence and create much destruction. Or maybe the opposite and the girl getting hit by a car could have a ripple effect of positive actions, but you never really know because you cant compare reality with what could have been.
I think it was in the Black Swan, that Taleb gives the example of an official implementing the idea that every commercial airliner should have bulletproof doors installed for the pilots cabin the day before 911. Was this the case, then 911 may never have happened and many lives would have been spared due to this idea, but…because nobody died, the bulletproof doors idea was seen as a huge waste of money. Very paradoxical.
Anyhoo, great post glen, you’re very good at writing!
Have an awesome day!
Great comment Diggy, it was interesting to read your thoughts.
I’m sure there is some ripple effect to all events in life. Just like the possibility that bulletproof doors could have been installed, 9/11 wouldn’t have happened and we wouldn’t know they were worth having in the first place.
Thanks bro!
Hi Glen,
I love your speech and totally agree with the message of it. The moment is all that matters and I truly believe that if you give your all to the moment, you are lead in the direction that will bring you joy. Because moments that are lived with full power can only reap results that are equal to that passion.
The past cannot be changed and the future is unknown. So all we have is the now. “The present is a gift and that is why it is called the present”. I forget who said that quote but I think it is true.
Hope all is awesome!
Nice speech. I also joined a speaking club in the past 2 weeks. We must be physco. I hope the folks in your group get to hear your speech soon.
Sorry about your grandmother. Keep at least one good memory in your quick recall brain cells of the people who have been part of your life, and who have passed before you; even though we must move forward and go on. Be blessed.
Congratulations on making the move and joining a club, you won’t regret the decision.
Thanks for the kind words.
Hi, and thanks for this piece. Alan Watts gave a talk once about time. He talked about a boat in the water that leaves a wake behind it. It’s a little like our past. We can see where we’ve been.
His point was that the wake does not drive the boat. It doesn’t determine where the boat goes. But humans allow their “wakes” to drive their lives.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5z6NNR-7E6A
Alan Watts did a talk on time. He talked of a boat and its wake. And the fact that the wake doesn’t drive the boat. Seems to me you’re saying the same thing above.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5z6NNR-7E6A
Many people can grasp something more clearly if its negative is offered. I talk to people about “now” and they nod and say “yeah, i get it” but I’m not sure they do.
So now, I present it exactly as you’ve done. I call it “never not now” In fact, that’s what I typed into Google and I found this blog!!
Also, the comedian Bill Hicks once said this:
“The world is like a ride at an amusement park. And when you choose to go on it, you think that it’s real because that’s how powerful our minds are. And the ride goes up and down and round and round. It has thrills and chills, and it’s very brightly coloured, and it’s very loud and it’s fun, for a while. Some people have been on the ride for a long time, and they begin to question – is this real, or is this just a ride? And other people have remembered, and they come back to us. They say ‘Hey! Don’t worry, don’t be afraid, ever, because, this is just a ride.’ And we…kill those people. Ha ha ha. ‘Shut him up! We have a lot invested in this ride. SHUT HIM UP! Look at my furrows of worry. Look at my big bank account and family. This just has to be real.’ It’s just a ride. But we always kill those good guys who try and tell us that, you ever notice that? And let the demons run amok. But it doesn’t matter because: it’s just a ride. And we can change it anytime we want. It’s only a choice. No effort, no work, no job, no savings, and money. A choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourselves off. The eyes of love, instead, see all of us as one. Here’s what you can do to change the world, right now, to a better ride. Take all that money that we spend on weapons and defence each year, and instead spend it feeding, clothing and educating the poor of the world, which it would many times over, not one human being excluded, and we could explore space, together, both inner and outer, for ever, in peace.”
You can see him here performing it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMUiwTubYu0