Oftentimes, I write a lot of these blog posts as a way to remind myself of certain truths to living that I’ve neglected or have forgotten as I’ve moved forward in life.
This isn’t one of them. This is a post made purely to help you – because I know of the things that you might be going through right now, or might be going through in the future.
This isn’t a post that I want to go viral (actually, I never really care if my posts do go viral), nor do I care if a billion people on the internet read it and link back to me.
My goal? To help one person out. That’s it.
Growing Hurts. A Lot.
If you frequent here and some other awesome blogs on improving yourself, being radical, and living a truly remarkable and awesome life – my personal favorites are by Ashley, Tyler, Chris, Colin, and Diggy – you’ll hear about how awesome it is to break free from the system, become self-sufficient, have awesome adventures, and truly live the life that you want to live.
While that’s true to an extent, there’s one thing that gets lost in the shuffle:
Making changes – especially ones of the magnitude that you want to make – is very, very painful.
They don’t tell you that when they tell you how glamorous it is to quit your job, rebuild your identity, and travel around the planet (if you’re into that sort of thing).
Just the sheer act of stopping your reliance on others to feel good and to truly take your life into your own hands is very radical, and can cause a lot of pain. Why?
Before, if you didn’t stand out much, you will now. And standing out – as per the Tall Poppy Syndrome – will cause a lot of criticism to come your way. Your new way of living will be under assault from people – especially the people who you are closest to, since your new choice to live life in a new way will impact them the most. You’ll be different – which will make them feel uncomfortable.
I know what this is like. The problem is, you might be left with no choice but to cut those people out of your life and replace them. In this way, the self-improvement journey can be incredibly lonely. I know it has for me – in fact, it was borne out of loneliness. Odds are, if I hadn’t hit rock bottom and lost a few friends, I wouldn’t be where I am today.
You will end up feeling like there are two sides of yourself – the “good side” and the “bad side”. Actually, it will be more of a war between the “old you” and the “new you”, and you don’t know which side to trust. You’ll feel like you have a split personality with crazy mood swings, and your good days and bad days will be unpredictable.
When you’re facing your fears on a daily basis and truly making radical changes, this is what life can be like. You lose friends, you lose connections, you start to wonder if anything really matters anymore, or if what you’re doing is even right. You begin to doubt that the struggle is worth it, and why you can’t go back to how you felt before.
What’s worse is that, oftentimes, things seem to fall apart in your life – things that used to be constant. Things that you used to be sure of… Well, you aren’t so sure of them anymore. Overall, life becomes one giant question mark, and, for many people, the uncertainty can be extremely painful and stressful.
Even though life can be difficult when you’re going through this stage, whatever you do – do not give up.
The uncertainty and the anxiety do not last forever. In fact, you should relish experiencing them.
Because that period when you’re not feeling at your best, when your world seems upside down, is when you’re experiencing the most growth. Putting yourself through the fire, day in, day out, will make you stronger in ways that you could never imagine.
If you’re feeling like this now – great! No, seriously. You’re on the right track. Keep doing what you’re doing, because you’re moving to a much better place. This phase of anxiety, insecurity, and strife is only a transition on your way to a better life. Trust me.
Better yet, trust yourself. You can make it, as long as you keep taking action to expose your fears and make yourself feel more alive every single day. As long as you keep moving, you’ll be alright.
You’ll make mistakes along the way. Those are cool too. Don’t let them effect you and realize that everything that happens to you is just part of the process.
I know what this feels like. You probably won’t believe me now (and I didn’t believe the people who told me I’d be okay either), but you’re going to be okay at the end of this, and the story of your transformation (everyone has one) will be one that you can tell your kids. Just don’t let it define you when you’re on the other side of the chasm.
Above all, though, work your hardest to make your dreams come true. Because, honestly, the life that you want, if you’re reading this post right now, is within your reach. Dreaming is great. Chasing your dreams and taking action is even better.
Even if you’re stuck in that painful transition stage right now, keep moving and keep doing work to forge the life that you want and deserve.
Because, truly, if you weather the storm now, you’ll reap the rewards later.
If I helped you with this post, let me know in the comments! If there’s any other way I can help you just ask or contact me at my email – BrettPluginID at gmail.com.