But in the midst of it all, sometimes I find myself in negative aspects high school again, which I often find the mentality of Facebook as a whole to rest. But not completely.

Someone from high school said that today he’d like everyone to post song lyrics on his wall. After I got off of work, I did. It was a song that is hip enough to not reflect badly on me, and yet, it does mean a lot to me.

I noticed that the friend “liked” or commented on every lyric post except mine. Even those after mine. I suddenly felt very self-conscious. I felt very sad. I was not accepted. I found myself thinking, “well even if he didn’t like it, he could have commented. Even something to the effect of, “interesting” would have been decent for participating in his little game.” But to be publicly and noticeably unacknowledged, it was a little humiliating. So I removed the post. I couldn’t take it. It seemed to be a blatant non-approval.

Then, I tried to figure out why I felt so badly. Was I seeking approval on… Facebook??? What the hell?! Why was my ego so fragile? Was it the public aspect? Was it just being left out, as sometimes I was left out as a teen? Why didn’t I have the guts to just leave it there and let it stand on its own? It’s a kick-ass song, after all.

*sigh* So I really appreciate your post here. It does make sense to me that I just need to stop! I think I was using Facebook for approval and self-assurance. That’s so weak. And so disappointing. So, if you’ll excuse me, I must go pick my face up off of the floor, brush it off… and find a more authentic existence.

This is a fantastic path, albeit one that requires tremendous diligence. The mind is a stubborn little bitch and loves to hold on to old baggage and have you revert back to the self loathing mantra.
I have been on a similar crusade as you over the past year and there is no question in my mind that Self Acceptance, dropping Validation Seeking, People Pleasing and living a more authentic life is the way to not slip into the hell of Self- Rejection. Self Rejection is what we do to ourselves when we are living an inauthentic ass kissing, people pleasing, phony, existence.

Truly amazing that humans don’t come with an instruction manual given how hard it us to unearth these deep truths….I think the ideas shared in you article are the closest thing to that “manual” in a society where we are bombaded with messages of “Not good enough”…If we hand over the joy stick of our minds to others we succumb to psychological slavery. Here Here to psychological freedom.

That’s the thing with unconscious thoughts and feelings – they’re UNCONSCIOUS. You just don’t know about them until you’ve reached a level of awareness. Until then, it’s just a headache, or dull tension, or subtle uneasiness that is always there, sometimes ignored.