This is not the typical personal development post because it deals with questions that are fundamental to achieving true and lasting happiness. Most people who claim to be plugging into their identity have not answered these most basic questions. They do not have clarity of purpose and without that, one can never achieve what I call, being fully alive.
It Always Starts with Your Thoughts
If you are going to do anything worthwhile in life, you must start by changing your thinking. You must answer some very basic questions about what I like to call ultimate questions.
Ultimate questions are philosophical in nature and I propose that all people, not just philosophers, need to ask and then answer them. They are questions that every scientist must answer before beginning the work of discovery. They give us a framework from which to unlock the secrets of the world in which we live. These ultimate questions start with the most fundamental and move to questions of a more practical nature, “does anything exist”, “do I/you exist”, and “are there any absolute truths.” If we are to develop in our humanity and become “fully alive”, then we must first ask ourselves what we believe about ourselves, our world and our place in it. Many may believe that these questions are solely the domain of philosophers, and again, I would strongly disagree.
Philosophy… Who Needs It?
You see, all of us go through life operating under a particular philosophy whether we know it or not. You cannot do anything without it. What do I mean by the statement, “we all live by a particular philosophy?” Well, we all make some basic assumptions about our world and ourselves. We assume that when we wake up in the morning and stand on our floors that we will not fall through them, even if we don’t know why. We believe that things exist. It would be absurd to carry on conversations with people we didn’t think were really there. We also believe that things exist in the same way for everyone. We wouldn’t want to put ourselves in danger by driving down a road that we thought might not be fixed in time and space or may not exist in the same way for all of the other drivers. We know that there are physical laws that govern the universe and we all rely upon them to live in it. We all feel the effects of gravity and are certain that we will not float up into the atmosphere as if there were no gravity. Even the simplest animals understand this, if only instinctively. I believe that everyone to this point would agree with me. Stay with me now as I delve into an area that many will find very challenging.
The Ultimate, Ultimate Question
What is my Ultimate Purpose?
No, I didn’t accidentally type the word Ultimate twice in the heading above. I mean the ultimate question that trumps all others. That is, the first and most important ultimate question we must answer so that it is first and foremost in our minds is, “what is my highest ideal or most important goal and why?” It could also be called an ultimate purpose. What is it? Is it making huge piles of money so that I can live the life of my dreams, have anything I want and go anywhere I want to? Is it to be famous and loved by millions of people? Is it to help the most people or do the most good I can do while I am here on this earth? What is your ultimate purpose in life?
Can you answer that question without a hint of doubt? Can you be absolutely certain that it is the right answer? Absolutely! You can because of who you are. We are all called to answer that question unequivocally – without wavering.
Without answering this question we tend to go through life without a rudder. There is an old saying that goes like this, “if you don’t stand for something, then you will fall for anything.”
I would love to see you answer that question for yourselves in the comments. This is not an easy task and it will require much thought and above all, prayer.
This is unbelievable! I just came back from a park called St. Joseph’s shrine in Stirling, NJ where I prayed, and then I get back to the office and open my mail and read this! Whoa! If this isn’t a clue, I don’t know what is!
Sheesh. If you had ended the article with “prayer, contemplation, meditation or reflection” then I would have been more certain that your words had general application.
The last sentence knocked me down. Damn, this blog is getting irritating since the main author left. It used to be about personal development and it was great. Why do you involve god to personal development? Most personal develpment speakers believe in god, but they don’t involve him into the field. Why do you do that? When you are a psychologist and you write about psychology you don’t involve god. Here is the same. DO YOU REALIZE THAT THERE ARE POPLE THAT DON’T BELIEVE IN GOD AND STILL WANT TO DEVELOP AND BECOME A BETTER PERSON? Why are you so narrow? Come on, leave god for yourself. It’s unnecessary to use him writing about personal development.
@lukaszet: Because I mentioned prayer, you have me already pegged as narrow? Did I write about God in this post? No. But, what if I did? By doing that am I forcing you to believe in Him or challenging you to ask the hardest questions one must answer: for what purpose do I exist? whom or what do I serve? Do I serve myself? Do I serve others? Do I serve a deity? Do I serve God?
Should I leave God out of my personal development just because you have chosen to? What if I did mention God? What if serving Him, loving Him and getting to heaven is my ultimate purpose in life? Should I just leave that out? Isn’t it kind of important to be transparent when discussing one’s journey? I think so. I cannot leave God out of my development as a human being because He is the only reason I am trying to be a better human.
Should I be offended because you don’t believe in God? Of course not. And I hope you’re not offended because I do. We can debate charitably and even agree to disagree but I will not and cannot leave my ultimate purpose out of my personal development. And I hope you don’t either.
Cheers!
“Without answering this question we tend to go through life without a rudder”
For me personally I support this statement, for if we are not always searching for purpose and meaning to all this we are really just floating through life. I find myself thinking about this everyday to help me see past socialites modern day smoke screen that most don’t even take the time to realize they are in.
I just returned from a solo seven-month backpacking trip across Central America. Coming back home to Canada and our modern day North American lifestyle has made me come to realize a lot and well to put it in more basic terms, “to think outside of our box” or in my words “Societies bubble”.
Yes these are some strong words and no I do not call myself religious. But I do call myself searching and to me that’s what’s most important.
These are just my thoughts, take them or leave them. Or read more @ journeyofjusts.com
I agree. Great article and with an extremely important, fundemental question for everyone….not just those who believe in God.
Absolutely Kate. Whether or not you believe in God, without a purpose to drive you, your life becomes a mere sequence of events or just simply about seeking pleasure, comfort, money, celebrity. There is a vast emptiness in that as is evidenced in many people today that walk around with their heads hanging down or with a slack expression on their faces. I see it everywhere and it saddens me deeply because I know true joy and I want it for everyone.
Hi Adam,
Very thought provoking post. I don’t have any particular purpose but I would say that I want to get out of life as much as I can, and give back of course.
For me life is all about creating and experiencing variety.
You believe in God, that’s lovely. Has your belief helped you? Terrific. Are you a better person for your belief? Good.
I’m not going to try and convince you otherwise. I do worry that your articles won’t be so even handed though, so I have unsubscribed.
My beliefs have helped me but that’s not why I believe? What do you believe in? What is your ultimate purpose in life?
Adam: You assume that every reader of this blog is a believer and one of your advice for them is to pray. Isn’t it narrow? Come on. This kind of advice it’s useless for me and for many people. If you are so in God and you can’t separate him from personal development, you will never be a good personal development advisor. Moreover, most of your advice won’t be accurate. I’m angry because it used to be a very good blog… universal, for everyone.
Not making any assumptions like that. I was only using a common term that means many things to many people. I am not pushing my beliefs on anyone but merely suggesting that one should examine their life’s purpose and clearly define it as a prerequisite to embarking on a journey of personal development. What’s wrong with that?
good post Adam
i believe finding the life purpose is the first step a person should take if he wants to do something in life
Thanks Farouk. Your purpose drives everything – at least it should. Too many people are going through life without a purpose and therefore they lack meaning and true joy.
All the people who’re throwing a fit over Adam’s use of the word ‘prayer’ are clearly missing the point. Meditation, contemplation, whatever you want to call it, the point is the same. You’re engaging all the same parts of the brain in a search for what answers to the universal questions satisfy your ego. Whether or not any sort of deity fits into your conception of the universe is an intimately personal facet of existence and not something you should rely on others to proffer or be upset when they mention as their own conclusion.
In other words, get over yourselves. See the deeper meaning, not just the words on the surface.
Thanks Largo. Yes, prayer has many forms that include meditation, contemplation, etc. I am not trying to force any of them on anyone. I was simply suggesting that one needs to contemplate deeply what their purpose is. The best word I could find for that type of deep contemplation was prayer. If that word offends some people, then I would suggest substituting a suitable word for prayer when you read it.
Interesting article … so are the comments. Personally when I see a reference to “finding your” passion/purpose, etc., I picture a game of hide and seek like it’s here somewhere, I just need to look in the right place. I don’t belive life is all that black and white – I think that finding our “passion” is more like a great road trip … yes, you do need to do the work to get clear about what’s important in your life, but as you grow and change, so likely will the route, not to mention the scenic detours.
Thanks Marquita. I like that perspective. What I meant by ultimate purpose is something tangible that you can really sink you teeth into. Your purpose inspires your passion. Its what gets you out of bed in the morning. The particular road you take to achieve your purpose will change as you grow and become wiser. There will be many detours but your focus should be fixed upon your purpose lest you get completely distracted and spin your wheels.
first of all i don’t understand why anyone should take it as a personal offence what Adam may or may not choose to believe in. Nowhere in this post preaching to anyone or seeking to convert anyone, and as much as we preach that the religious should be tolerant of those who choose not to believe than i think that those who choose not to believe should show the same courtesy. Narrow is accommodating someone’s believes because they don’t necessarily coincide with your own. You could have easily ignored the last part and taken what you felt was useful for you, but instead you chose to attack a man’s character and his competency as a personal development coach. 2. Prayer is a word that can be interpreted in many ways isn’t necessarily confined to a god, but it is a deeper spiritual conversation with yourself. 3. Narrow is not being able to respect and accommodate the believes of others!!! and now to Adam…
Thanks for the Post, and while i may not be someone who subscribes the idea of god myself, i do believe that your post has a lot of merit. Purpose does keep us going. however like Marquita said, they change from time to time, depending one where one is in their lives, and sometimes it is necessary to let go of old philosophies to make space for new ones, and i found that to be one of the hardest thing to do. otherwise, thanks again.
Thanks Lerato! Everyone speaks of tolerance these days but very few practice true tolerance. As you said, true tolerance is respecting and accommodating the beliefs of others, even when you don’t agree with them. You are quite welcome for the post, Lerato!
Ah! The ultimate question of life – “what is my ultimate purpose?”. Haven’t we all wondered that at some point in our life, I know I have. On the flip side, has asking this question ever lead you to doubt, frustration and over-analyzing everything and accomplishing nothing? I sure have.
For many years I’ve struggled with this question, I always thought that perhaps there was some higher purpose to me being here that I needed to “discover” or “reveal”. You know what I mean right? That ONE THING I should be doing. Well…
… I’ve come to the realization that the philosophy that I live by now is rooted in this following statement:
“there is no such thing of a ultimate life purpose other than the one you choose to follow”.
In other words, life isn’t about FINDING yourself ( don;t waste your time trying to figure that out, its a futile attempt), life is about CREATING yourself ( now that is something you can sink your teeth into with a well defined plan and actionable steps to creating something)
Adam makes a good point when he says “Without answering this question we tend to go through life without a rudder”. You need to have some sort of definite purpose, but be forewarned it isn’t something that will fall from the sky upon you one day, it is something you have the freedom to choose for yourself.
So, go ahead… choose your purpose and design a plan for achieving it.
All the best…
Jason
Ultimate question indeed. Not all has the answer or can answer.
Hi Adam,
Thank you for being so transparent and crafting a thought stimulating post. I appreciate it.
What do you think is the toughest part about answering the Ultimate Question?
I’ve found that most of us know what our life’s purpose is, or at least have a strong feeling of what they should be doing, but it’s life current circumstances, past mistakes, emotional instability and the lack of a clear plan that tends to stop people dead in their tracks.
Does this mean our purpose isn’t aligned with our true intent?
Maybe the answer to the Ultimate question is one that we don’t quite understand yet. Either way, your post has made me think, but more importantly, you’ve created an opportunity for everyone to stop and just reflect, which most people rarely do.
Highly valuable post.
Thanks Adam
Sigh…I wish people wouldn’t overreact when other express their beliefs on their own blog. This isn’t a public school or anything, its a blog. What else are you supposed to write about if not what is important to you?
Purpose drives me so much I can’t even explain it! Thanks for the honest post and the reminder to stay true.
By the way, I wasn’t a subscriber, but I am now
hey Adam
am visiting often these days
waiting for new posts
“Prayer” is just a word. And lots of people apply the word generally to include meditation, etc. I don`t think there`s much of a difference, personally.
I think people definitely need to have some purpose directing their life. Not necessarily something mystical, but they have to be clear about what their values are and what things are important to them in life. Have a clear sense of that will draw your focus in on things that may become your main purpose. Those things can be more specific than “help people” or “serve God” or whatever. It can be like “Build a company that values and rewards employees more than any other company”, or “Contribute to and help build the musical culture of our city” or “Help raise living standards in the inner city” etc. Everyone`s purpose or mission will be different.
You made me think deeply about what my purpose in life is and for that I am very grateful.
THANK YOU
Most people are missing the point. Adam is not trying to convince you to become a Christian, or Buddhist or Muslim or any other religion for that matter. He is merely stating that he has found his personal purpose in life through his chosen religion. If your personal belief is not to believe in anything other than your own existence, that is fine. He is only poking you to think about your purpose in life – whether it is making money, having fun, traveling, helping others, conquering Mars or whatever. Stop attacking him because he is giving an example of how he dealt with this issue. Again – WHAT IS YOUR ULTIMATE PURPOSE IN LIFE? (Apart from attacking everything you do not believe in – which is beside the point in this case).
Thanks Jan! Wow, it is great to have people understand that rather than attack those that believe differently from you, one should be focused on doing some very deep thinking and arriving at purpose and meaning.
Adam this is amazing..I wish more people would spend time exploring their purpose more…It is important to know your ultimate purpose because than every single task you perform becomes fun and exciting because you know that you are living your true values…
When you are living your purpose work is play:)…
Thanks for sharing..
Cheers,
Nabil
Hey man I really don’t know you as you barely took over the blog, but I think the writing style is great it sounds very natural, and very energetic.
I had a question
“if you don’t stand for something, then you will fall for anything.”
Its not really literal but what exactly does it mean?
Does it mean if you don’t’ have a goal in mind, and take action then you won’t’ achieve anything supposedly?
As easy as it sounds, and as much as we’ve all heard it thousands of times in our lives, living from a purpose always works better. The ultimate purpose? That’s definitely better! For me, the vehicle seems to change, and I do that consciously, but the ultimate goal and the reason behind it all remains the same. The cool thing is, there are many ways to reach my outcomes! (which are to learn, love, experience, teach and learn more)
true Adam
without a life purpose life will have no meaning
thanks for the post