You Don’t Know What You Truly Love
Glen / 
27 Comments / 
September 24th, 2008 / 
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I realised something quite profound the other day, something that instantly clicked. These types of realisations are what inspire me to continue my pursuit to help others plug into their identity and find the real them. Knowing that there are going to be more ways to share certain ideas and more experiences I go through that give me a clearer understanding of the world is a great feeling.
It all started when I was dancing in my living room, nothing special you might think. But then I thought, “6 months ago I absolutely hated dancing, what’s changed?” And then it hit me…
My Realisation
If you don’t know much about my story so far, then I’ll quickly share my path. Up until I turned 18 I had been living a very scripted life, doing college courses I hated and working in a dead-end job. I quickly realised that I didn’t want to live like this and something had to change. To cut a long story short, I flew across the world to South Africa and took a job at a large internet marketing (something I love) company.
The reason I say this is because since the start of this ‘journey’, a lot of things have been clicking in place for me, things such as:
- Understanding my emotions
- Realising that social conditioning has really held me back in some areas of my life
- The breakthrough that I am not my mind and I can be who I want to be
- Living consciously and being aware of what is going on and where I am headed
Most of all, my biggest change has been realising that I can be whoever I want to be, and live the life I want to live. That realisation actually came on the same day that I started this website, and the running message to this day has been no coincidence.
Dancing in my living room
When I wondered why I had started to enjoy dancing, it soon noticed there were three things that had allowed me to go from never dancing to really enjoying it:
- I don’t care what others think so can dance how I want to dance
- I’m simply expressing my feeling at this time and not changing for others
- I’m enjoying my life and living fully consciously in this moment
Those three things are the same three principles that can be applied to your personal situation. Asking yourself whether you are doing these can be quite the reality check.
Finding What You Love
For many people, knowing what they love comes to them naturally, for me it wasn’t quite as easy. I have shared ideas on how to find your core passion but as I mature and evolve I’ve also realised something else; there are certain boundaries that stop us truly connecting to this passion.
In fairness, the title for this blog post should have been more along the lines of ‘You Don’t Know What You Truly Love [Unless You Do these three things]‘ but I think that is a bit over the top. If you do know what you truly love, good for you. Take the steps to being able to do it on a more regular basis because life is too short not to enjoy every minute of it.
I’ve outlined the three principles very briefly above but I’m going to cover them a little more now.
1. We care what others think
When I was in England and going out to nightclubs, I would rarely dance and let myself free unless I had drank a lot of alcohol. The sole reason for this is that I cared what others think and feared being judged if I started dancing.
The same goes for other passions; we often don’t go for something because we care what others think about us. Whether it is trying to be an actor/actress or wanting to start a band. we often hold back our desires from others for fear of their negative opinions and disapproval. Sadly, this is one of the quickest ways to start giving up on your dreams.
The paradox to this is that if you start truly believing in yourself instead of being semi-confident about your decisions, people will start to see that and you won’t actually be judged or viewed negatively like you may think.
2. We hold back from expressing ourselves
I’ve never told anyone this, nor have I ever blogged about it, but I love acting. I’ve never acted in an actual sense, but I can tell stories that are completely untrue with a very straight face and it amuses me no end. If I was being fully true to myself, I would actually give acting a go and that would mean I am expressing my desires and living congruently with them.
My aim is to live a life that is fully through expression, so if I want to dance then I dance. If I want to write a blog post on a certain topic then I’ll do it (coincidentally, blogs are a great way to express yourself) and if I want to talk to a random stranger then I’ll do it.
If you are afraid to express yourself fully, you may miss the biggest opportunities in your life and fail to realise that something you didn’t think you would like is actually something you’ve been needing to discover.
3. We aren’t living in the present moment
The present moment is also referred to as ‘The Now’ and also links closely to living consciously. When you are fully immersed in the present moment, your past conditioning and future projections are far less relevant than when you are thinking about them. If we have failed at things in the past then we tell ourselves whatever we want to do will probably fail as well.
If we haven’t been able to achieve much based on past desires then we will project a future in our minds that isn’t very enticing. When you are living in the now, you realise that you can do what you want to do and be who you want to be.
Whatever it is you are passionate about, you fully open your life up to that, there are no mind-made limiting beliefs that are going to hold you back because your past and future don’t matter.
Before you think you know what it is you love, make sure that you are doing what you want to do, fully expressing yourself and immersing yourself in the now. Only then can you find your true passion and be comfortable in sharing it with others.
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Horatio Alger mythology plain and simple. You are not your mind? Then what the hell are you? If I dig out your mind with an ice cream scoop, whats left? Let me guess, your immortal magic soul? Awww.
I’m so tired of extremely luckier and irresponsible people trying to get others to be the same. I don’t have to pay rent but I’m not trying to tell everyone to quit their job.
Some of us have families, we can’t just hop a plane. Some of us don’t have passports. Some of us are broke. Some of us are disabled.
News flash, not everyone can be president when they grow up. And to suggest its just a matter of trying is insulting to everyone trapped by circumstance.
I can see why you love marketing, I’m not buying.
“I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability.” - Melvin Udall
First of all, thanks for taking time out of your day to try and spread a negative message, I hope it is working well for you.
Secondly, you might want to read my ending paragraphs on this post: http://www.pluginid.com/you-are-not/
I’m so tired of extremely luckier and irresponsible people trying to get others to be the same. I don’t have to pay rent but I’m not trying to tell everyone to quit their job.
Why am I lucky? I’m grateful, but I wouldn’t say my position is one of luck. It’s actually an extremely big risk to go to a country where you don’t know anyone (one of the most dangerous countries in the world I might add) and start a job in an office environment in which you’ve never been exposed.
Some of us have families, we can’t just hop a plane. Some of us don’t have passports. Some of us are broke. Some of us are disabled.
Very true, at the time I couldn’t afford to hop a plane either. If you must know I worked hard for 2 years without making any money to make my name in a niche. When I was offered the job all expenses were covered, I made the opportunity for myself, it didn’t just happen because I was ‘lucky’.
I could be in a wheel chair right now but it wouldn’t stop me from writing inspiring blog posts that help others with their lives.
Make your choice, either continue leaving negative blog comments and be angry at the world, or decide what you want to do and take action. If you want to be angry at the world, at least don’t take it out on others.
Cheers,
Glen
And just to add, I love marketing because it allows me to be creative and network, both of which I enjoy.
Cheers,
Glen
“First of all, thanks for taking time out of your day to try and spread a negative message, I hope it is working well for you. “
“First of all” I don’t consider countering a touchy feeling self deceptive and ultimately self serving article negative. People are unhappy and unfulfilled for real concrete reasons the world over stemming from global materials economy issues. This self help tripe about it merely being a choice is absurd and insulting to people who have real problems. Your article is kicking a whole lot of people while they are down. Why don’t you go give your precious marketing tips to the homeless and tell them how much of a loser each and every one of them is, because thats the point you’ve made.
If it were so easy to be happy we wouldn’t have a multi billion dollar a year anti depressant market, not to mention the illicit drug trade.
Your kind of willful ignorance is disgusting.
“I’m grateful, but I wouldn’t say my position is one of luck. “
Of course you wouldn’t, you have to feel like you earned it, because if it was luck then you might feel some responsibility to those less fortunate, Instead you feel you earned your place, and they theirs and thats that, anything you do for them now will be pure emotional profit. With this outlook you could hand one guy one sandwich and feel like you just killed starvation. Do you even know who Horatio Alger is?
“Very true, at the time…(blah blah blah)”
Again, more about how all the worlds poor and unhappy are merely lazy. You’re the one with the negative message.
“I could be in a wheel chair right now but it wouldn’t stop me from writing inspiring blog posts that help others with their lives. “
The only people you “help” are other yuppie white collar parasites like yourself to feel not so bad about being parasites. I freely admit I’m in the same boat, I don’t make things that save lives, all I do is talk as well, but at least I don’t have the nerve to pretend I earned everything I have when some people are born without eyes and hands. Grow some perspective.
“(choice)”
I’ve made my choice, and I attack real problems, I use every bit of my higher faculties to locate and attack the problems which keep people down, and you my friend are part of that problem. I sleep like a baby, and when I look back at my life from death’s edge I’ll go knowing I did right, and the world was a better place for me having been in it, and it wont take a lie to make me feel that way.
Enjoy the last word, you’re not worth any more of my time.
Enjoy the last word, you’re not worth any more of my time.
Shame, I enjoy a good debate. Anyway, I’m too into psychological stuff so I know that you will read this response. Here goes
This self help tripe about it merely being a choice is absurd and insulting to people who have real problems. Your article is kicking a whole lot of people while they are down.
Who am I kicking, i didn’t mention anybody. I think you are reading a different blog post and commenting here.
If it were so easy to be happy we wouldn’t have a multi billion dollar a year anti depressant market, not to mention the illicit drug trade.
Once again, I never mentioned it is easy to be happy, this post is on the subject of doing thins for yourself, not saying how easy it is to be happy *confused*
Of course you wouldn’t, you have to feel like you earned it, because if it was luck then you might feel some responsibility to those less fortunate
Earned what, I’m just a blogger with a few readers. You are acting if I’m a millionaire or something. I’m very grateful for what I have in life but I’ve also worked hard to get where I am. Deny that all you want, you don’t know me or anything about what I have done.
I don’t have the nerve to pretend I earned everything I have when some people are born without eyes and hands.
Once again (4th time now) you are making things up to try to make your argument stronger, next time actually pick out things I say or claim. Making pointless assumptions really wont get you anywhere.
Again, more about how all the worlds poor and unhappy are merely lazy. You’re the one with the negative message.
I mentioned that…oh yeah…never.
I sleep like a baby, and when I look back at my life from death’s edge I’ll go knowing I did right
Awesome
Glen,
It’s an important message that people need to take a good look at where they are and what they truly want in life.
And then they need to make a plan to go and get it.
Great post!
Jeff
It is extremely frustrating to feel stuck in circumstances that keep one looking outwards with envy and resignation. However “simple” and unrealistic the words may sound urging us to “just go out and conquer the world”, the effort is enormous, requires incredible bravery, faith and will power. The impediments are from the outside, the ability to change is internal, a willingness to choose living differently today than we did yesterday, then moving forward one simple step (or wheel) at a time.
Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn’t. But like I always say, no matter what you do over a time period it is going to pass anyway, you may as well make the most of it.
I know some people strive off of working hard and pushing themselves to their limits.
Thanks again for the comment Kip
I had a friend who asked me earlier in the day, when he was about to go for a job interview, that whether or not he should take up the job as he wanted to find something that he really love to do.
Which I told him to just go for the job first.
Kinda relates to your post.
I do like this part where you wrote:
“The paradox to this is that if you start truly believing in yourself instead of being semi-confident about your decisions, people will start to see that and you won’t actually be judged or viewed negatively like you may think.”
Be totally true to ourselves. No worries needed to find out on what we exactly love.
I think that is some good advice Daniel, at least he has opened his horizons on what options he has
Thanks for the comment!
This was Such a wonderful read.. and touched me, share via email through a friend.
We are All, everyone of us..struggling to make
ourselves happy. Sometimes, it is “right there”
in front of our eyes… and we don’t even realize
it. It helps to do every little thing.. every
single detail with love.
take care, thanks for sharing a piece of your life.
Liz aka lil monkey
Awesome Liz, I love comments like that. Keeps me feeling like I’m doing the right thing
Thanks for sharing it as well!
I’m glad you are aware what you love. Many many people don’t know, and don’t know they don’t.
Joy is right here and now, coming from within. Thank you for showing it in an authentic way.
It took me a long time, but I know what I love and what I’m going to do about it. Thanks for a great post, Glen.
P.S. I know I’ve said this before, but you are beautifully young to stand so wise.
Thanks again. Funnily I used to think of myself as really cool because I’m young and I make money online etc. In reality, that is just my ego talking, now, unconsciously I don’t even think of my age at all. I just do what I do
Thanks for the kind words!
Hi Glen. Thanks for stopping by my blog and leaving a comment.
Some people are not “lucky” enough to discover what they enjoy doing because they choose be believe that life dictates to them and they must follow. I smile as I write this because this is only what I know, not what I practice.
I’m “lucky” enough to not have a family to take care of as I’ve not worked in a year and a half after being laid off. I finished a self-employment program in August and am now living off my savings. I am determined to NOT run out and find the first job. I’m pushing the envelope on this situation.
Blogging has reminded me of how I enjoy to write and express myself. Writing is my PASSION. I express myself better through writing than speaking. I’m working toward the goal of working as a freelance writer and a life coach. I hope to see you back at Loving Pulse.
Freelance writing is definitely a career option that can be profitable. I know of a guy who makes around $11,000 per month just writing articles for companies and he works from home
Digitalpoint forums are a good place to start, there’s a lot of freelance writers there who offer advice.
Hey…it is nice to dance around the room. I do that very often with my kids! Sometimes, we even hang scarves on ourselves so that we can twirl around in style. Lots of laughter. Not a care in the world. Just us dancing!
Hi Glen - I really like your statement, “I’m simply expressing my feeling at this time and not changing for others.” If you can keep this attitude, you’ll do great. It’s when we start mirroring others or letting them mold us that problems begin to arise. Be true to yourself and you’ll be a great success.
Thanks Barbara, and you are welcome for the comment, I try to be active on the sites as others, especially people who comment here.
Thanks for the comment, I’m definitely trying to live my life exactly like the statement you quoted.
What amazes me Glen, is that you’re 19 and have all this self-awareness. I was pompous and terrified and unwilling to pursue what I really loved (writing) out of fear of rejection. It took until I was 36 to break out of all that and finally pursue my first love.
I agree that finding happiness is not easy and I will say it’s all a choice. The external things that happen to someone are not a choice (like disease and systemic poverty) but one’s reactions are a choice. A person can choose to grow and look for happiness, or choose to react negatively - of course putting a caveat on this that some things are MUCH harder to find the happiness in than others (like extreme poverty or war). But most people who have the privilege of reading personal development blogs on the web aren’t in extreme positions, I’d say.
Cheers,
Alex
Hi Glen I just came across your site from Daphne’s Joyful Days site which I found via Zen Habits! Daphne has your plug in on her site and I just wanted to say how useful your personal development list is - I’ve just twittered it!
It was also interesting as I live between the UK and Cape Town so it really caught my eye that you moved over there. Where abouts are you based?
Your blog is upbeat and refreshing, you are right, it is important for people to get to their important stuff and find a way to do what they love. Yes, that’s not easy at times for a lot of people, hence some of your negative comments you’ve got. But we can only control our responses and reactions to things, not what people think or say. And, like you also point out, that’s all part of learning to worry less about what people think (and dance more often …!) because everyone’s entitled to their own views and no two people ever view things exactly the same way as they’re coming from their own unique perspective based on their unique set of circumstances.
Thanks again for the great list.
Hey Tamsin, great comment. I’m glad you enjoyed the list.
I’m actually based in Woodstock for the next few months before I go home, don’t worry, it is a nice part of Woodstock
A great post about finding what s important to you and not getting distracted by hubris.
That’s the problem these days. People are so focused on finding their own happiness, they end up arriving at the completely wrong destination.
http://woganmay.com/2008/09/being-the-passenger/
I’m so glad I’ve finally blogged that.
Hey Glen, the blog looks good so far, grats!
I see the 3 points you mention have much truth. It’s interesting to see your posts, they seem really like a personal journey. Wow, I even wonder if my posts get to un-personal
Hmmm… anyway: I’m commenting because of the comment-discussion. I think the important point here is that regardless of circumstances, the question is always “how do you interprete and deal with it?”. Interpreting events holds the meaning to the events for you. These can be empowering or disempowering. In both cases it is not the event. It is not pre-defined how you react. This is the choice.
And, you move to a strong position if you take this responsibility for yourself. Yes, many of us have situations that are problems. It’s not unusal. How do we deal with it to move past them? From there comes action. So I think both ideas from the beginning comments have a point, they are suggesting to take action to improve situations. Self-awareness and reflection is the first point here anyway.