Are you going to sit around, waiting for the world to fulfill you?
If you’re going to try and make so much money that you’ll be fulfilled, you are mistaken. Money, no matter how much you make, will not fill the gaping hole in your heart.
If you’re going to try and accrue so many possessions to fulfill yourself, you are also mistaken. No matter how many things of “value” you surround yourself with, no matter how much you think they improve your life, you will not feel fulfilled.
If you’re going to go through the motions every day, putting minimal effort into the job you say you hate (or, worse, feel ambivalent about), you will definitely not feel fulfilled.
No matter how many books you read, countries you visit, social gatherings you attend, tests you pass, or degrees you earn, you will never feel fulfilled with those things alone.
Being Fulfilled Is a Choice
In fact, being fulfilled is a choice. You choose, with your attitude, whether you’re going to live a fulfilling life or a one completely devoid of any meaning. It is you – not your environment, not your job, not your family – that is the cause of your unhappiness and emptiness. It’s your responsibility, not anyone else’s.
Luckily, this also means that you can turn your life around. In order to live a life of fulfillment, you must surround yourself with things that mean something to you. You must do things that bring meaning into your life. But doing things that mean something is the subject of a whole ‘nother post, friends. I’m going to turn to something else, to turn to something far more important than doing things with meaning.
How can something be far more important than doing things with meaning? Isn’t the act of doing things with meaning the most important thing in life?
Well, not when the thing I’m going to talk about is…
THE BIG LIE
The Big Lie is this: right now, you are incomplete. Because you are incomplete, you don’t deserve to feel good. You don’t deserve to be confident and you don’t deserve to walk with a swagger and a smile on your face, because you’re missing something, anything.
It could be money. Friends. Love. A skill of some sort. That shiny new iPad or smartphone. A nice house, or a penthouse apartment in Manhattan. It could be anything that you don’t have – but your ego will find it, point to your lack of having it, and say, “Listen, buddy, you’re incomplete. You don’t have this, so your life sucks. Period. Once you get this, you can feel good.” Your ego bribes you: it makes you chase after things you don’t need, just so you can feel happy again.
Can you guess what happens when you acquire the thing – money, fame, “love”, amazing writing skills – that you’ve wanted for so long? Your ego asks for more, and you begin your blind pursuit of something you think you’re missing, putting your happiness off once again to please your ego.
The thing is, of course, you’ll never be complete. You’ll be trapped in the ego’s rat race forever, and no matter what you do, you’ll never find the Holy Grail that you’re seeking.
Isn’t this insane? This is why The Big Lie is called The Big Lie. You actually are complete as you are. The things that you pursue and acquire in order to feel more complete don’t do anything for you because they are extraneous. They cannot get you closer to completeness because you are already there.
You may lack all these external, material things, but you have all you need inside of you.
Not receiving enough love or friendship? Give more love, everywhere you go, and you’ll find more love headed your way as well. The love is always inside you; you just need to coax it into existence.
Feel like nothing has meaning? Try looking at things in a different way, a way that gives your life some meaning. Ask yourself what you find fulfilling and try creating that wherever you go.
So, what’s the answer to the question that’s the title of this post? You know it. You’re just afraid to admit it to yourself. Say it.