Know Who You Are
Glen / 
28 Comments / 
March 9th, 2009 / 
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We view the world through our own perspective, and this perspective is based on our knowledge of our surroundings and things we believe to be true. In other words, we each view the world through our own lens, and we act in situations through our own self made image. There are over 6 billion perspectives for every single situation, each one of them unique.
An industry conference for marketing agencies might be an exciting event for someone that loves meeting new people and socialising. Yet, for someone who has social phobia, the situation would be horrific. The situation is exactly the same; it’s just someone’s perspective that perceives it differently.
We are all unique and each situation can have many different viewpoints: right vs wrong, good vs bad, fun vs boring, safe vs dangerous etc. And while you are unique, do you know why? Do you know who you really are?
I’m sure if I asked any of you who you are I would get an answer similar to the following:
“My name is Glen, I’m 19 years old and I live in the UK. I run a number of websites, my favourite being my website on personal development which aims to help people see their true potential”
(Of course, substituting your details for mine)
On the face of it, that description looks quite accurate. Taking a closer look, however, is it really who I am? Actually, no, it isn’t. The above statement tells you about me, but it isn’t me. The words might point you to my current situation (things will change, such as my age) but they don’t point you to who I am.
Why don’t we change directions for a second and look at who (or what) you aren’t…
Who You Are Not
I covered what you aren’t in the post 10 Things You are Not, but to save you clicking over, the article consists of items such as:
- You are not the car you drive
- You are not your job
- You are not the countries you’ve visited
- You are not the size of your bank balance
- You are not your relationship (contributed by McSilly)
You might have a flash car and if that is something you’ve wanted for you and you’ve worked to get then that’s great. Material possessions can bring a sense of comfort and excitement into our lives at times. When I say you are not your car, I simply mean that owning a nice vehicle or having a lot of money shouldn’t make you think more of yourself.
Having a nice car, an attractive partner or even a cleaning job are all things that you may have or own but they are not you. You are not a cleaner in the sense of it being who you are; you are a cleaner in the sense that it is a role you play to earn money. If you see yourself as more for having anything you value then it’s very likely you are living through your Ego and you would feel major loss if anything were to happen to these things.
Who You Are
If I were to tell you that you are an awesome person, you’re friendly, you’re smart or anything else, it may apply to you; but it doesn’t make it true. In reality no words can describe our true identity, the true meaning behind who we are; we just…are. Anything else is just added mind-made thoughts that are ever changing.
If you would like a better answer, you are actually whatever is left when everything else is stripped away. Take away your material possessions, your relationships, your achievements, whatever is left. Just to be clear, I’m not saying it’s bad to have nice possessions, relationships or anything like that, you simply shouldn’t identify with them as who you are because they are not you.
Can you accept that statement, or do you find yourself resisting it? Either way, you are the acceptance or the resistance, whatever is left.
Making Sense of All This
For some people this post will help them see they are not what they thought they were, and there’s a nice sense of relief and relaxation after arriving at this truth. For others, you’ll be quite confused as to what I’m saying or why I am saying it. If that’s you, don’t worry, it took me a while to get my head around this concept, but once I did, I had nothing short of constant epiphanies.
Let’s see if the following examples can help clear things up for you:
1) John has just came into some money at the young age of 21. He’s bought himself a brand new Bentley and now sees himself as a flash, young, rich guy with the world as his oyster. A week later, he writes off his Bentley in a crash and gambles away all his money due to depression caused by the accident. He’s left upset, distraught and back in the same financial situation he was in previously.
Did he ever change, or did only his situation change?
2) Sarah is a 44 year old widow who hasn’t really left her house in around 2 years due to depression and social anxiety. She decides enough is enough and visits a hypnotherapist who successfully helps rid her mind of all the issues and negativity; she feels like a new woman. In fact, she feels so confident that she goes on to become a public speaker and regularly speaks in front of crowds upwards of 2,000 people.
Is Sarah shy or confident? Did she change or did her situation simply change?
John and Sarah never changed, underneath the layers they were always the same people as before certain events in their lives unfolded. They just identified with different things, whether it be personality traits or possessions.
I think there are two key factors to having a rock-solid core and a strong reality:
- Knowing who you are
- Having values and sticking to them
As soon as you stop looking to define yourself through accomplishments, possessions or anything like that, the suffering that comes with them completely dissolves. Not only that, but a sense of contentment and peace also starts to inhabit your body. If someone insults you, they insulted you. That is it, nothing more and nothing less. Of course you can respond if you like, but their comments make absolutely no change to who you are.
In this state, you can find a deep sense of peace which I’m starting to enjoy on a regular basis and you stop seeing the world for all its negativity. In fact, as soon as you have this strong sense of reality, the world becomes your playground.
If you enjoyed this post, I would appreciate if you share it on Twitter, Facebook or Delicious!
I’m enjoying reading this blog as an escape from all the negativity that’s abounded for the last few months! When I understood that I was not all of these material things, I was given the freedom to do whatever I wanted without worrying about how my actions would seem to others.
And also the freedom to focus on what really matters.
You’ve got it Joely! Well said, I can’t put it any better than that
Glen,
Nicely put. I wrote about the same exact thing and consider it to be the most important question you can ask yourself.
Looks like we think alike
Keep it up bro.
Thanks Sunny!
Spot on insight. Uncovering the essential truths about ouselves is hard these days. We live hectic lives – beset from all sides with problems and issues. We seek validation from social networking sites, we twit more than we think, we blog more than we write. We are constantly plugged in to the net, but we rarely make a connection to our inner self. It’s hard to maintain a healthy balance and perspective amid this noise. I’m glad you brought this up. Stops any thinking individual dead on his tracks so he can reexamines what really is essential to him as a person.
Thanks for your comment Jan, I’m glad you could relate to this
This is a great post. Knowing who you are is essential to having the life you want. Until you know yourself, you cannot know what is important to you or how to be happy with your own life. I really liked your examples.
Hey Frances,
Thanks for stopping by, I loved your post on how you stop depression, simply but useful!
Baie Dankie (thank you very much)
Good article as always Glen.
But today my questions goes….. What other websites do you work on?
And Sunny, nice site you have there, interesting articles, I just glanced at them, but I will read some of them later
Hey Nicolai, thanks.
Most of my websites are affiliate sites and they make me far more than any of my other projects (especially this site). I would rather not share them due to competitive reasons, I’m in a number of highly competitive niches.
I do run PluginHQ which was an internet marketing blog I started when I was 16, although I haven’t updated it for a while, it still has around 1,000 subscribers.
P.S. None of them are on the same server nor have my name associated, just incase you wanted to try to find them
Great stuff here. I have been writing a little on perspectives and streams. Mainly how the “mainstream” has fooled a lot of us into thinking that it is the one perspective you should have. This also relates to my idea that moving pictures ruined reality for our generation. But, we CAN reclaim it! Nicely done Glen.
Interesting concept Alan..
That’s actually very possible. TV + Cinema definitely try to show a one sided way of how things should work out.
In the 1920′s girls with small chests were seen to be the perfect form now it’s the complete opposite (mostly). The media do a lot of influencing that we all tend to follow, unless of course you notice it.
Terrific post. We are all radiant, amazing beings. I believe we are made in God’s image, and that we are all capable of creative, world changing activities.
I really enjoy the positive way you write and encourage people. Thanks.
This is what I love most about the world, that we each have the ability to do amazing things. Sadly, not everyone sees it
Thank for your comment
I just entered the world of internet marketing, and I’m exciting and was therefore impressed of your little ninja trick you pull off in this post: http://www.pluginhq.com/case-study-10000-visitors/
Absolutely fantastic move.
I have a college graduation in offline marketing and strategies, but when it comes to online, I’m off track, your other site is just what I needed. Even though there are houndreds of those sites these days, many of them manage not to keep me following them. Except John Chow of course, his brilliant. And yours seems cool as well, I’ll surf it for posts one of the coming days.
But the case is that I have A LOT to learn about online marketing also about wordpress and the tools I use to maintain a proper site, like Aweber, google analytics etc.
So if you have any good links to sites, blogs etc. don’t hesistate sharing
Hi Glen
Another great article. Keep it up.
It took me a while to get my head round this I won’t lie, actually had to read it a few times over, I think I understand it now, and understand how it can help.
It’s just you know the little voice in the back of your head, the thing that makes me such a pessimist as it happens, I can’t seem to get it away. I am working on it, I have just started to ignore it, act on my first thoughts and instincts and don’t let my conscience change it, whether that is the right thing to do I have no idea, but it seems that I can’t get that voice of doubt to go away, so I just have to ignore it as hard as it is.
I am moving forward though thanks to all of your great articles, so please keep it up, I have already started changing things for the better with my life all thanks to your blog, I have quit gaming from yesterday as you can read on my blog,
To some that might not sound like much of an achievement, but for me it is, I gamed semi-proffessionally on a top level, and whilst it is a shame to let that all drop, it was getting in the way of my life and especially my college and any chances of getting into university, so for me it is a really big step to quit, I keep having temptations to play but I am holding it off, I am just trying to keep in mind that it is only as hard as I make it. All there is to it, is to stop, and I have for now.
But seriously, I cannot thank you enough, sorry for the long essay, but not many personal development blogs I have read in the past have done much for me, but I think for myself and perhaps many others, your articles are really helpful in so many ways, so thanks.
Howie.
Awesome Howie, I appreciate the mentions on your blog.
How about, just for a day or two you accept it. Just let it be, whatever you resist persists. It isn’t real. It’s great that you can already tell they are seperate.
There is YOU, and then there is the VOICE. You are the ‘I am’ in the statement ‘I am’
.
Congratulations on giving up gaming, obviously you shouldn’t simply filter out enjoyment in your life, but it sounds like you’ve realised there are more productive things that can take its place.
Thanks again mate!
Yes, there are definitely more productive things that can take it’s place. Due to my gaming habits, I stopped going out quite a lot and doing the things that actually meant something to me, including socialising with friends, so it has really taken it’s toll.
Rebuilding connections with my friends and sorting things out is definitely a reward in my eyes for giving up, I regret ever forgetting the things that actually meant something in my life, but I am fixing it now, and already making ammends.
So would you say that acting upon my first thoughts/instincts would be sensible? I mean I think I understand what you are saying, that is not to resist it, so I would think that would be to act upon my thoughts before I doubt them, because essentially, any small amount of doubt inevitibly leads to resistance, and it’s funny enough, even though I have seen this, I have let it take control so many times in my life now that I look back on things, including relationships, work, and just general oppurtunties that I had with things but lost because I doubted… well, resisted.
I am just thinking though, sometimes I wonder if doubt is a good thing, but I just get confused more then, because I start to think ‘ah, but maybe I am just thinking doubt can be a good thing because I am resisting the idea that it isn’t good’. Not sure if that makes sense and it is probably silly, maybe I am thinking about it all too much within itself haha.
In the past, I resisted a lot of things mainly out of fear of the results, a good example would be in the direction of relationships, telling someone how I feel about them (maybe this is a bad example, I am not sure), but I would resist telling them out of fear of well, what if it goes wrong.
But I am starting to understand now that a lot of things are caused by doubt and resistance, and that I should live in the moment, I should have just told them, if it went wrong, well it went wrong, but I could have moved on from that, and lived in the moment.
Again sorry for the long essay again, I am just starting to see things in a much bigger picture now that I am stepping back, clearing my mind and thinking about it.
But it is for these reasons I am kind of understanding what you mean now, I should just stop resisting, I won’t know the answer to anything if I don’t ask, be it a job, relationship, or just any general oppurtunity, by resisting it, I just reduce any chance of anything happening, so I am going to start from now, going to just act on my instincts and see how things work out.
Thanks again
Hiya
I enjoyed reading this insightful post and it reminded me of the time I realised that everything I was, was created from my environments. Anything i gave my attention to literally became a piece of my identity. The more I gave to it the greater the value or cost i placed upon it. All obvious stuff really but it was a shock to me in my younger days.
Eventually I meditated and realised there is a whole lot more to me and everybody else too, which has nothing to do with these environments. For me that is very cool. I agree we all have the ability to do amazing things and it’s wonderful that we are encouraging one another to be creative and loving.
thanks Glen
Jens
You’re welcome Jens, thanks a lot for your comment.
I really responded to the idea that people can say negative things , but it doesn’t change who you are on the inside. I never really thought about it that way before. You are 100% correct – at the end of the day, you are either happy with yourself or you aren’t. No person can change that. The only person that has to live with you 24/7 is you. Being your true self on the inside should give one a sense of comfort and strength.
You are 100% correct – at the end of the day, you are either happy with yourself or you aren’t. No person can change that.
Exactly, well said Alyss, thanks for stopping by!
Hi Glen, wonderful post. Your article has made me think deeply about who I really am.
Thanks for sharing, Glen.
Nice post. It’s a wonderful gift not to respond to insults or rudeness in an angry way. It’s a gift to everyone.
Being self-aware is inherent if we want to turn off the autopilot and live out our dreams. There exists, however, a trap in self-awareness in that we can spend so much time figuring out who we are we forget to actually do anything and spend all our time thinking and talking.
I highly doubt, however, that you’d ever fall into this trap Glen.
You would be surprised Alex, but I’ve definitely improved
Glen Great article!
You’re right!
But what will be your statement in stead of about you… who are you!
Hi Renchi, thanks!
I am