I Conquered the World’s Biggest Fear, And You Can Too
Glen / 
29 Comments / 
March 19th, 2009 / 
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What would be the scariest thing I could ask you do to? What’s the one thing you would like to avoid at all costs? Answers to this of course will vary, from diving with sharks and being up heights to more extreme responses such as the fear of flying or even death.
Sadly, I’m not going to tell you all that I cheated death. I did however, conquer what is thought to be the world’s biggest fear: public speaking. There’s something about getting up in front of a crowd of people and forming some words that literally scares the heck out of people, so quite naturally I had to give it a try.
Throughout school and college I think I’ve done around five speeches in total, dreading each one even more than the last. And, I wasn’t alone. Friends would literally skip classes, call in sick or just read directly from their notes in order to make the situation go away or slightly more bearable.
Public speaking has always been something that really bothered me, but it’s always been something I wanted to no longer fear. They say on the other side of your greatest fears is your greatest life, so I decided to find out. About six weeks ago I joined a local speakers club and last night I was officially made a new member, having made 3 successful speeches.
Every speech I’ve had to do so far has been completely unplanned; the majority of speakers are only given a topic to talk about once they actually get up on stage, making it that little bit more challenging. Now, instead of public speaking being a fear lurking in the corner of my mind, I really look forward to the events as I’ve met some amazing people and have minimal hesitation about getting up on stage and speaking in front of an audience.
If I hadn’t gone out there and faced this fear, I wouldn’t have been living up to my own motto, which is ‘be who you want to be and live the life you want to live’. “I want to be the kind of person that is scared of public speaking and then joins a speakers club.” That was, in all honesty, the last line of my first speech and is the kind of mentality I want to carry throughout life.
Why is this so Feared?
I have no doubts that public speaking can be a daunting task. Before my first speech my heart was pumping so hard and fast that I’m sure I was moving people on the seats next to me. But why is it such a problem, why does it bother so many people? Why did I get nervous before giving a talk?
Some of the most obvious points that come to mind are:
- You are the center of attention
- It’s possible that you’ll forget what to say, or even faint
- There’s a crowd of people that are ‘judging you’
- We literally force ourselves into a hot-seat for criticism
I think it’s safe to say that all these fears that go with public speaking all link back to one thing: caring what people think. After all, I’m sure you could easily get up on stage and speak if you knew that nobody was there to watch you, it’s only a problem when there is a crowd.
I have written an article on how to stop caring what people think, but I won’t lie, it isn’t an easy task. On top of that, it’s not something you can change instantly unless you down a few tequila shots or pop a few beta-blockers, none of which are a great long-term solution.
Personally, I think the best way to get over fears like this is to literally get out there and face them head on. In a way, you are forcing your body into something, as if to say “I don’t care if you want to do this or not, we’re doing it.”
In fact, I now enjoy this huge fear of mine and millions of other people so much that I’m joining another speakers club next week so that I get to talk more regularly.
You Can Do it Too
Most of the following points can be applied to any fear that you have, but because public speaking is the basis of this article, the points are related to this subject.
- Realise it’s not that bad – What’s really the worst thing that could have happened to me by speaking on stage? I faint? OK, then what. My mind goes blank? OK, then what. No matter what happens, it’s still highly likely that I’m not going to die, but I’m going to benefit from my experience.
- Focus on the benefits – Don’t see facing a fear like this as potentially losing something; see it as an opportunity with everything to gain. There’s no doubt that public speaking helps you become more confident, more social, and more comfortable around others. You also get to pick up a new skill which is never a bad thing.
- Find a Local Club – The most popular form of speakers club is of course, Toastmasters. They have clubs throughout the world and you can find their database of locations here. I actually just did a search for ‘speakers club [my area]‘ in Google and found two local organisations as toastmasters don’t have an event in my area.
- Drag Yourself Along – If this is something you really want to do, you’ll do it. I really wanted to face my fear, and I’ve received some amazing benefits for doing so. Once you’ve found a club, give them a call, find out when the next meeting is and turn up. You probably won’t even have to speak the first time if you don’t want to and you can just get a feel for what it’s all about.
If public speaking is a fear of yours and something you would like to conquer like I have, then complete the four steps above and I promise you’ll thank me afterwards. By no means am I a great speaker, but I certainly don’t mind being called up to stage to speak about a random topic either, something I couldn’t have even imagined doing in the past.
So, are you the kind of person that has a fear and faces it head on, or has a fear and allows it to control their only lifetime on this amazing planet?
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“I think it’s safe to say that all these fears that go with public speaking all link back to one thing: caring what people think.”
I’m still afraid Glen and I’ve never tried to conquer it, because I don’t need to that bad. I try not to care what people think and yet I’m still afraid of public speaking. However, I think you have hit the nail on the head here with regards to caring what people thin. I’m going to write an article about courage soon because it is something that holds so many people back from achieving things easily within their reach. Most of our fears are unfounded and yes what is the worst that could happen?
That’s fine Stephen, it’s not something that everyone wants to cover, but they certainly can. If you don’t care what people think, but are still afraid, what do you think it is that is holding you back? (I’m genuinely interested)
I think it is still because I do care what some people think to some degree. It’s probably more complex than that but I think this is surely part of it. I “try” to not care what people think and most of the time I truly don’t. If I did, I wouldn’t do half the things I do
Genius. At this point public speaking is not a problem if I just barely know the topic. It’s true I’ve never spoken to a +50 audience (no without something memorized).
This post made think and I doubt to say this, but I have no fear. Not in the traditional sense of the world
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Hey Ivan, I hope life is good!
You don’t strike me as someone that would be shy, but having no fears is pretty impressive
Haha, that’s amazing Glen – well done for that! =)
Hey man I’ve missed you, shoot me an email. Are you back in CT yet?
Glen, I myself really don’t care what people think/feel about me. Obviously there is social awareness – don’t act like a pratt if it is going to really disturb someone. When it comes down to it, I am myself; unique!
I am very impressed that you managed to conquer a fear; I am yet to find something that truly bothers me, and I don’t say that to look good.
I can see why people are afraid of public speaking, looking at the reasons as to why but once it’s done, it’s done and once it’s conquered it’s conquered.
Hey James, it’s great that you don’t have anything in life which would bother you, I wouldn’t mind being in a similar position
Public speaking was quite a big hurdle for me, and faced by millions, but I’m definitely over it now.
Thanks a lot for your comment!
Like most people I was nervous about public speaking, but now I do it for a job. I still get nervous sometimes though. I want to give a good presentation and so I get nervous about doing a good job. But I think that’s a good thing – if you don’t care about how your presentation will be received then you’re not going to put much effort in and you’ll most likely be boring!
That’s a great point Julian, it’s important to care at least on some level that you give a great speech and you entertain the audience.
Thanks a lot for your comment.
I joined Toastmasters in 2003. In my experience, it has been thee most powerful and effective personal growth “system” I have ever found! Of course…overcoming our greatest fears leads to our greatest learning and growth. I am sooooo glad you posted about this, thank you!
Ilana
Hey Ilana,
Congratulations for joining toastmasters, I would like to have one in my area but I’m really happy with the speakers club that I have found. I’m glad you liked the post, and you’re welcome!
Well, public speaking was one of my biggest fears too, but at the age of 15 “I’m almost 18 now” I used to be an exchange student to the US 06/07 and I had to give some presentations about my country, see, what made me defeat my fear of public speaking was that I talked about something I was passionate about, and also knowing that most of the people that are listening to me are doing so because they were interested, and of course I try and get people involved by asking them questions, telling them funny stories about Egypt, what made me comfortable is that I thought of the audience as if they were a part of my family sitting around a table waiting for dinner or something, I love giving presentations about things that I’m passionate about, I like sharing my knowledge with others, public speaking does make the world a better place, great piece Glen, keep rocking!
Thanks a lot for your comment Ahmed, that is a great story and I like that visualisation exercise that you’ve shared.
Thanks again!
Heeeeey:)
Congrats that you did it man!
I wouldn’t mind doing it but right now its not really on my list of priorities to join a public speaking class.
I think the trick is to treat it like you would a topic with your friends. Whatever it is you are supposed to talk about, just imagine its you and a whole bunch of friends and you just say what is on your mind, and even if you do say dumb stuff, it doesn’t matter, you will become better over time:)
Glad to hear you’re starting to make good money from online, I was a little demotivated and did nothing for about 2 months, but have started again this week and going to carry on with my online stuff:)
Have an awesome weekend,
Ps. i love how you come up with so many ideas for posts all the time, very creative:)
Cheers!
Hey man, thanks a lot, I knew we used to talk about it quite a bit. You’re right, you definitely get better with more practice.
Yeah man, things are working out very well in terms of $$$, almost ready to start travelling. You too Diggy, keep in touch!
Hi Glen,
It is great to hear your success! I find that if we tell ourselves that we are going to do it regardless of anything, the possibility of doing it is higher. Great article!
Cheers
Vincent
Personal Development Blogger
I just want to say thanks for this excellent text.
I was invited to a radio show in a bar some weeks ago but just couldn’t do it. I already fainted twice and just thinking about going there made me so nervous I couldn’d eat/sleep/do anything for days before. I finally decided not to go, and I feel bad about this.
I knew nothing about Toasmasters and I decided to get some information about such club in my city. I don’t know how things will turn, and surely my big problem is precisely that I care too much about what people think, but I am sure something good may happen because of this.
Again, thank you for writing this text.
Hey Louis, you’re very welcome.
Make sure you come back and let me know how Toastmasters works out for you, I think you’ll love it!
This is a great post.
I’ve always been quite fearful of talking to, and in front of, strangers. I’ve gotten better talking with people I don’t know by joining networking groups, but I still haven’t had the experience of speaking in front of groups of people. I’ve known of Toastmasters for years, but this post has regained my interest in it and I intend to look into the local chapters here.
Thanks for the number of great articles you post each week. I’ve found many of them very helpful.
Hey Aaron, thanks a lot for your comment, I’m glad you’ve been finding the articles useful!
I definitely think you should go ahead and give it a try, you can’t have been more nervous than I was before attending, but I certainly don’t regret it. And neither will you!
Great job conquering your fear head on! I think we forget most of the time that we are our own worst critics. If you make a mistake, unless you are obviously upset about it, no one will even notice. It’s almost always an internal battle. Would love to see some clips of your before/after progress!
Public Speaking is EASY!!! If it’s your first ever speech it’s understandable to fear it. But why it is the world’s greatest fear is beyond me. As I said, IT IS EASY!!! Inform me, please, if you do enter any competitions, I’d really like to see you speak and show me that you can prove you have conquered your “inner demon” of speaking. State Level speaking is a whole different kettle of fish. Now that, I would understand as a fear in the bottom 1000 of the worlds least feared things.