Wow man , Absolutely awesome post!

It’s crazy strange because I just finished writing a post very similar to this, going to publish it on my blog soon!

We all would like to reach an age of 80 years or older in good health, but in reality, we all have a set amount of time and that time can be up in the next 5 minutes or in the next 50 years.

That is why it is so important to be true to yourself, to follow your own desires and passions and to do what makes you happy.

I do not entirely agree with your example of the alcoholic, because even if drinking does make him happy, often alcoholics are a slave to the habit, and they are unable to resist drinking, even if it is killing them slowly. Sometimes they may just wish they could stop drinking, but they can’t.

But doing what you love, so that at the end of your life you can look back on it and say “man that was awesome”…that is how life should be lived. Take, the chance…

I heard a quote a while ago, “you are not afraid of dying….you are afraid of living”.

So go ahead and live

Amsterdam baby

Peace
Diggy

Hey Glen
Great post (I love that show by the way).
My husband has a saying similar to your end question: “If you had 24 hours to live, who would you spend it with?”. We both agree, we spend time with people we want to (mostly), which is a good barometer of how we are living. There is some tweaks I would make in answer to your question…I would spend my day being happy, not worrying about the silly things I worry about sometimes, and enjoying life with my loved ones

I think you maybe missing the point with a number of things in this post.

“They just take their kids to school in the mornings, enjoy 2 weeks of holiday per year, work the 9-5 and constantly wait for the weekend so that they can ‘enjoy life’. But honestly, is that living?”

Having a family is one of the most challenging things to do in a life and as with everything the more you put into it the more you get back. This is demonstrated on a daily basis with kids. I know that’s not quite your point but in terms of furthering ones self, communication, life skills and all round tiredness levels, having a balanced work – life pattern is rewarding.

The Gene Simmons interview is interesting but a better interview would be the one he did with Dr Pamela Connolly http://www.channel4.com/programmes/shrink-rap
this brings to the fore, reasons (possibly) why he led the life he did. One that is attractive on the surface but may have subconsciously hidden unhappiness far from the outsiders observing eyes. The alcoholic in question may have an underlying reason why he drinks, resolving that is far more interesting that accepting he is happy to pass on.

Great blog by the way, keep up the good work.

if you were already dead, and you had the opportunity to live for one more day, how would you spend that day?

I would hang out with family and friends at a barbeque while having a few to many drinks, oh and lots of music 

I have thought about this on an off over the years, especially when George Best had the transplant and still went back to drinking.

I think my take on it is pretty simple, enjoy life to the full, do whatever you want to, whether its drinking, smoking, whatever fulfills you or floats your boat, as long as we are not hurting anyone as a direct result of our actions then who are we judge?

Our lives should be lead how we want them to be, good or bad and not as the publics’ perception of what is an ok way to do it.

Linz

Damn good post Glen. I think most people are waiting for retirement, even if they know there’s a good chance they’ll not live that longer (am I negative?). I don’t know why television and government don’t push the idea of living more of the present moment instead of torturing people with wrong beliefs.

the problem is, ‘who pays?’ who pays for that alcoholic to waste his life, drink himself to death, be hospitalized and eventually die? Because it surely does cost someone something.

Don’t forget the NHS – that which was founded to help us is now a stick to beat us with.

Glen,
You argue we can become happy by following whatever rules we want, but then you slip in this comment: “Of course, I’m not going to advocate that if beating people up makes you happy you should stop reading this and go out and do it, but on a core level, I don’t feel that would be a true desire for anybody anyway.”

But what if it is? Look around the world and I’m sure you’ll recognize for far too many people, that seems to be exactly what makes them happy. On one level, I do in fact agree with you. What makes me happy won’t necessarily be what makes you or anyone else happy. But I also believe many behaviors lead everyone to unhappiness, even if they don’t realize it. As a physician who treats alcoholics I can attest that they are uniformly unhappy (realize that pleasure—eg-drinking—and happiness not only aren’t the same thing but are sometimes mutually exclusive).

How often do we pursue an activity thinking it will make us happy only to discover it has the opposite effect? Drinking may be pleasurable, but for an alcoholic, it inevitably causes the destruction of life in all its dimensions (not just physical). Just like our hearts all pump blood the same way, I believe happiness, at its core, appears in everyone in response to the same core behaviors (eg-compassionate action toward others, creating meaning and value on a daily basis) and not from certain others (a life spent in hedonistic pleasure, caring for yourself only). If we want to become happy, it seems to me we should strive to awaken wisdom in our hearts that really will lead us toward it. An “everything goes” attitude, while appearing on the surface attractive, isn’t likely to accomplish that, and from your own comment, I wonder if you don’t secretly agree.

Thanks for a thought-provoking post!

When you start a post with ‘this alcoholic is just doing what he loves’, then it’s always going to be controversial…

My initial reaction was to totally agree. We shouldn’t be a slave to other people’s ideology and we should define our own happiness. That’s a given. Your alcoholic example was interesting and ballsy.

The problem with using an alcoholic as an example (and I speak with some authority here) is that he is as much a slave to routine as anyone else with a 9-5, two holidays a year, whatever. It’s just his routine involves the pub and copious amounts of liquor.

I see the point that you’re trying to make. It’s wrong for people to judge other people on what happiness is to them. People should define their own happiness.

And you’re right in that regard, if the alcoholic says he loves drinking, then let him drink.

Unfortunately, I don’t necessarily think that individuals KNOW what makes them happy and what they SAY they love compared with what they ACTUALLY love can be two totally different things. I think the ‘once you know what it is’ portion of your post is very important. What some (most?) people think makes them happy, actually contributes to their continued, underlying misery.

I know it’s true for me. My booze/chocolate/consumerist binges provide temporary pleasure but are, on the whole, masking deeper unhappiness – usually to do with how I’m feeling about whatever creative project I’m working on at the time.

In the same way, I’d imagine if you took the alcoholic’s booze away, you find that he gets very unhappy very quickly.

True, intrinsic happiness comes from a positive self-image. If someone is truly at peace with themselves, they can find happiness in any given situation and not tie it to a particular set of circumstances (big house, lots of alcohol, tons of cash, steady supply of heroin, etc.)

I totally agree with the main thrust of this post, though. The time I spend worrying about my projects (and covering up this worry with binges) is wasted life. We’re dying one day at a time and we need to just get on and do what we want to do.

We just need to make sure that what we want to do is really, genuinely what we want to do.

Great read today! Brilliant way of putting things in perspective and this post reminded me of doing things that makes me happy instead of doing what other people want of me. Live life to the fullest within your own rules, love it!

Love this post! Thinking about the question you posed — having one day to go back and live again — has been so great for me today. It’s important to think about life — and how we want to be living it — and remember how short it is. Thanks for this great reminder and motivational post.

Hey Glen,
Good point about people who criticize. It’s so true that the biggest critics usually have a narrow view about how life should be, and it’s usually a view they aren’t following themselves. Criticisms themselves are indicators of what’s going on in the critic’s mind and not what’s wrong with external circumstances.

I know someone who is a proclaimed hardcore Orthodox Christian. During the week he parties like it’s no tomorrow, drinks like crazy, and goodness knows what. Yet he is quick to turn around and criticize anyone who is not living straight-lace. There is nothing wrong with his beliefs or his behavior on their own, if that’s what he wanted to do. The problem is he’s confused about his own happiness and his life.

Great post.

Great post! You just listed a number of the thoughts behind several of my key values, and a good tough question at the end.

I like to think that I would do something to make someones life better. Spend a day working at a soup kitchen, encourage someone that is downhearted, do something inspiring.

The man may have been doing what made him happy, or maybe he was doing something that just made him numb. I would want him to see how much of a difference one day of life could really make. Actually I’d love to learn how to do something that powerful every day. I’m gonna see what I can find, and put a post on it.

In the words of “Donald Shimoda” –

Your only obligation in any lifetime is to be true to yourself. Being true to anyone else or anything else is not only impossible, but the mark of a false messiah.

What’s wrong with taking my kids to school, working 9-5 and taking 2 weeks vacation a year? Seems like you are implying you can’t “enjoy life” on that schedule.

Just like there are some alcoholics that probably really love what they are doing, there are surely some working 9-5 that truly love that as well. It seems like you dismiss that possibility with your statement, however.

Interesting read Glen.

I don’t think your main point was to focus on the alcoholic per se, but rather to use his ‘reality’ or perception of a ‘happy life’ as a comparison to those individuals who have their own ‘slow-death’ lifestyles.

In my opinion of course, I see such behaviors (in both cases) stemming from a point of ignorance. To quote Charles Haanel:

“Our difficulties are largely due to confused ideas and ignorance of our true interests.”

They say ignorance is bliss, and in this case the ignorance of an alcoholic will result in him finding his bliss in the bottle. The same applies with most of us in some form or fashion. We stop destructive habits or change our lifestyles only after illumination. Those of us that live the rat race lifestyle more often than not have no idea that we’re in it. And even if we do…there’s the problem of trying to find a way out.

Death is inevitable, and life can be wasted it seems. But to add to your point, it is the advance of death that can cause much introspection. Introspection results in acquaintance with power, and it is this power that causes us to change.

Keep it coming Glen.

I really loved this. Everything you said has some way of connecting to me. I agree with what you said though. For me, the life I live is approved by others, but on the inside, my parents don’t want to accept a part of me that I’m trying to release. I should not care. It’s painful that they won’t accept me for who I am but this is ME and I’m happy so why should I sacrifice my happiness for the approval of others? I need to practice this more. It sounds selfish at times that it’s all about how I feel and not others but this is the life I live and nobody should try to interfere unless I’m doing something really bad and I need help.

Also I need to try not to disapprove of others. My generation seems to be focused on having sex and doing drugs at such a young age. If they’re having fun so be it, I shouldn’t have to force them to stop or ignore the group that does these things. I may think it’s wrong but it’s their life to live.

It’s a bit weird though thinking differently of things that I along with many people find negative. Like the man drinking. I would find it sad and that he needs help. I’d have never thought he’d enjoy doing it. So thank you, you opened my mind further

I cant agree more. Life is too short to live by other man’s rule or view point. Every man should pursue his dream, provided its legal.

Know what to risk, and dare to risk. This has been one of my philosophy for some time.

Care less on what other people think, do what you can to achieve your goal and be happy.

However, drinking is not happiness. I see the man as wasting his life away because he is trying to avoid living his life. He make no effort in improving it because he is to the point of i don’t care anymore.

That’s how i see it. Make no mistake, every man is entitled to his own version of happiness, even giving up on his life. But people who give up on their life is never happy.

So, basically, every day we`re one day closer to our death Everyone has their own rules for happiness, even if they don`t live by them for whatever reason. Each mind is different, unique and complex, we shoulnd`t try to understand why some people are happy doing what we`d maybe never do. That`s just how it is, let`s just enjoy our differences and just do what we love, what makes us happy. I really liked this:
¨Life really can be taken away from us at any moment, so why waste a second of it?¨

Inspiring stuff

Great article! Honestly I think the man was drinking his problems away, but we will never know.

Second of all, I love the question at the end. Really something worth thinking about…

I’m at a point in my life where I’m trying to make some major changes. This blog is inspiring, so is Steve Pavlina’s.

Love the fact that you’re in internet marketing (VERY WISE CHOICE…I think we should all make a choice like that). I’m trying to get my ebusiness rolling too.

Keep this blog up! The word should be spread. I see so many people around me acting like VICTIMS and wasting their lives, really not acknowleding the power they have within to make anything possible!!!

Katya

Thanks for the reminder, Glen.

Yes, we should really treasure every single moment because who knows what’s going to happen?

I really liked that quote by Gene Simmons. I think there’s alot to be said for living in your own reality. In fact I’ve heard many people sy the person who has the strongest reality wins. There are some people who probably think too highly of the fact that I spend 5 hours a day at the beach when I don’t have a job, but who cares. It’s what I love. This really resonates for me because I even recently wrote a post for DLM called “The Most important relationship you’ll ever have is the one you have with yourself.” Other than the lack of money, and being stuck at my parents house, most of my life is almost perfect right now. Great post.

Hi Glen,

It is important that we do things that truly matters to us. There are so many times where others decide how we should feel and cause us to do things their way.

“if you were already dead, and you had the opportunity to live for one more day, how would you spend that day?”

This is the question that we should ask ourselves daily to find things that truly matters. Thanks for the share.

Cheers,
Vincent

Hi Glen,

Thank your for the great post and thank you for reminding us to ask ourselves that question.

While I agree that we shouldn’t start judging people right away just because we don’t agree with the way they live, I still think that the alcoholic wasn’t either happy or seizing the moment.

It’s important to realize that quality is better than quantity when speaking about life, it’s important to do what we really, heartily want to do in each and every moment of our lives and probably most of us do all these less than that oversized-liver dude.

However, there is one small detail we tend to overlook. Yes, the alcoholic was following his path to happiness. Yes, he didn’t care that he was dying, he just wanted to truly live what he had left, to achieve that happiness, as alcohol is what he considered that will make him happy.
But here is the thing! We often follow dreams and ideals which are not our own! The alcoholic was indeed going for an ideal of happiness, through drinking, but I strongly believe that he borrowed this ideal from some one else or from the media. His kids probably made him happy, or enjoying a beer somewhere outside the city, surrounded by green. I don’t know what made that man happy, but I think he falsely followed the path of alcohol.
But this applies to most of us! We want to be rich, but why? In fact we look for the respect and love which we consider that money can bring us.
Why do we want what we want? If we have a good answer for that we’re on the right way, but otherwise I think it’s important to realize what makes US happy, as you have already mentioned in your post.

“it doesn’t matter what people think of your means to happiness. What matters is that once you know what it is, you follow it” – i think that’s the core of all this.

Thanks again for the great post!

All the best,
Traian

Hi Glen,

I’m going to have to disagree with you on that one (like that would bother you! )

There are two issues involved here:

1- Whose values do you live by?

2- Are these values congruent with your human nature?

I think we sometimes obsess about following our own values, we don’t realize when these values are actually harmful to us. While I believe every human being should consciously choose his or her own values, it doesn’t mean that *any* choice being made is valid and good for that person and his growth as a human being.

Eating junk food can make you momentarily happy, but it’s a bad choice, regardless of who makes it. Just because someone is eating junk food or taking drugs or drinking, despite what his parents think, doesn’t mean his choices are correct.

Good Post Glen,keep up the great work…

My thoughts to this post:

The level of your happiness depends all on your level of awareness and consciousness. Someone who is not very aware and caught up in his falsely conditioned beliefs will not know what happiness really means. A person with a low awareness will associate being happy with superficial pleasures, pleasures that deal with your senses. They are only trying to achieve happiness through the body. These moments of pleasure are momentary, and always have the opposite feeling. You party and indulge in your physical senses only to regret it the next day.

Pleasure is a drug because it is dependent on external things and based on physical needs. Happiness is different in that it does not depend on simple physical pleasures. Happiness deals more with satisfying psychological needs, not as depended because it does not need simple pleasures. Bliss on the other hand is free from circumstance, not depended on anything; it is your very being.

Once you transcend simple pleasures, you will learn to be happier. Your happiness will lead you to joy because you will have a happy mind. Acting from your joy which is spiritual in nature, will lead to your very being which is pure bliss. Reaching bliss means you have discovered the innermost part of your being, the part of you where the ego can’t exist.

What’s “correct” or “incorrect” aside, something to remember is that many behaviors are done not because we inherently LIKE them, but because they help us AVOID pain.

My guess is that the drunk had a lot in his life he didn’t want to deal with. We know that he had at least one thing: his condition, which no doubt caused him physical pain, and also caused the people he loved to suffer mental pain.

We know that heroin addicts begin because they enjoy the rush, but after a while they start needing a “fix” not to feel good, but just to not feel bad. It’s a downward spiral caused by a behavior that in the beginning was positive, but turned into mental and physical decay and a life devoted to little besides the needle.

Living for the needle, or the bottle, or the dollar just doesn’t seem like a life-affirming or ultimately satisfying course of action. Then again, I’d rather be motivated by the fact that I woke up alive again this morning rather than the fact that I’m gonna be dead one day.

Hi Glen,

I like your post for sure, it is thought provoking and for me begs the question: does the alcoholic know better?

Like you I have been to Cape Town and work in Personal Development, and one of the things I have found is some people will drink and take on many addictions simply because they don’t know other ways to find happiness or self-actualize.

If I relate this thought to your article I wonder if that man knows any other way to cope and if he could transform his life and do something else, would he?

We all must answer the question and figure out whats most important in our life as long as it doesn’t hurt anyone else, is the alcoholic in general not a problem to one’s self and society?

In the end I think your article is thought provoking and interesting!

Faramarz

Thankyou for that. Very thought provoking and insightful.

Interesting post mate. I worry that not only is the state getting more ‘nanny’ in its outlook, but society as a whole are. The general population believes more and more it has right to influence other people’s life choices. People say “You should do…” rather than “In my opinion…”.

Thanks a lot!This article makes me happy.I may consider my life again and change some things which can’t make me happy！
Thanks again!

Why did my comment disappear?

I’m really touched by this post and I can particularly relate to the part where you said “Life really can be taken away from us at any moment, so why waste a second of it?” due to the recent near-death car crash experience that my best friend got into. It also reminds me of one of your posts titled “8 things to stop doing right now”, where you mentioned something about stop caring about what/how other people think/look at you. I might not be able to give constructive comments like the rest of the others did above, but i really want to say thanks for reminding me again about how precious life is and to start living it to the fullest.

-Tiffany-

Glen, I agree with your article on many levels. I think many people go to school, get married, get a job, and have kids not because that is what they want to do but because they think they are supposed to do it. BUT for some people this conditioning makes them think they “want” to do it. Then they come on this blog and say it makes them happy. Do you see my point?

There is a difference between what I think makes me happy in the short-term and what really brings me happiness and well-being. I think this is part of the point that Haider was trying to make. NOBODY can make decisions for what you should do and I 100% agree that you should not accept what society, your parents, your partner, your friends, or anyone else thinks SHOULD make you happy.

But I also don’t think you should just do whatever you feel like doing. Sometimes we have to resist our urges. I don’t think you are saying anything different, but I want to make sure my position is clear. I take time to reflect on what I am doing and I often do things I regret because I realize it made me happy for a few hours but leads to my overall detriment. Some people don’t think and are doing things that make them unhappy. I’ve done it many times, but I’m getting better at knowing the difference.

Love this post. Several people in the comments are missing the point about what is happiness to them may not be happiness to others. I’ve had this conversation many times.

As an extreme example, I often got into long discussions with a bodybuilder friend who insisted everything anyone did that wasn’t working out 2-5 hours a day in the gym and taking macro-biological care of their eating was an inferior being who was just stupidly killing themselves with junkfood or smoking or drink.

He never could get past the simple fact that to me and maybe some other people, the idea of making our lives last a few years longer (even a decade or more) by living the way he did would mean an even longer life lived in a horrible way, which I was not interested in doing.

He could not understand why anyone would not want to live at the absolute epitome of health (which ironically many health experts would argue that he was actually doing it wrong anyway).

If I had to spend 2-5 hours a day in a gym every day and only eat broccoli and chicken breasts, I certainly would not want to live that way for 10 years longer than I would live if I ate tasty junkfood and played fun videogames all those years.

By the same token, it wasn’t for me to tell him he was living his life “wrong” either. It wasn’t something that would make me happy, but he seemed to enjoy it. I have no business telling anyone how to live as long as they don’t tread on me.

In the end, it always has and always will come down to the simple fact that each of us has to wake up each day in our own skin. It is up to each of us to live in a way that we find best. We can learn from others, we can try and experiment with things we *think* will make us happy. We can grow and change our tastes as time goes on. But ultimately, we are the only ones responsible for ourselves, and we have to live how we see fit for ourselves.

(“Illusions” mentioned above is one of my favorite books too. Highly recommend it. I read it every few years and get something new from it.)

Hi Glen,

I’ve been a reader for several months now, and have thoroughlu enjoyed all of your posts. I’m a bit shy with commenting, but this post really inspired me. I think everything you said is spot on, and this may be the best post I have read.

So, thank you for the motivation and inspiration you provide on a daily basis!

Glen, I’m really starting to dig your style. It was the Cigarette article that first showed this kind of approach, and it was shockingly good. Now with this one, you added upon it.
You say your opinion with such a cool voice, and it’s not about not caring but it is true.

Keep it up with this style, I like it And not just this one.

Well Glen you have to think about it this way – most people who live out a normal life are dying but the thing is that this is happening in a natural normal way. On the other hand the guy in the bar is choosing to an extremely accelerated expensive painful way to die.

I think “living” means doing things that are productive and that you enjoy etc. It doesn’t have to necessarily mean partying every night.

Wow Glen,

This post is excellent. Your points are well made in a style that challenges peoples’ beliefs and actually causes them to think and examine their values.

In this busy world of distractions and internet/blog information overload that’s exactly what we need. This is the most refreshing blog post I’ve read in quite a while; it moved me to deep thought. Most of what I read on blogs (albeit good content on many very good blogs) can be digested easily and forgotten, and I move on to the next, but this post takes some chewing on to swallow. Well done, I love when something I read challenges and motivates me.

At any rate, I won’t be forgetting this post for a long time to come. I like your style, and am glad I discovered your blog… you’ve got some great stuff here.

Cheers,

Miche

Wow, this post sure sparked an interesting discussion! I have to admit that I didn’t read all of the comments (most of them though), so forgive me if I repeat what’s already been stated.

The way I see it, the problem here is that you don’t address ethics in this post.
On the one hand, of course everyone should do what makes them happy and what they really enjoy, but there are certain limits to this. Where the lines dividing ethical and unethical behaviour lie is, of course, open to interpretation and there are libraries filled with tomes on this very subject. What we probably all can agree on is that it becomes problematic as soon as what makes you happy somehow compromises someon else’s life and happiness.

As an example, I find it appalling when someone drives recklessly in a care, because then they are a threat to others (especially if they have passengers). But when someone rides a motorbike recklessly, I don’t mind so much, because bikers tend to only kill themselves in an accident.
I would say that the “ethics-scale” goes from one extreme – believing that it’s not okay to think or say certain things, condemming sexuality etc. – to the other: Believing that ultimately we’re just a biological coincidence on a small speck of dust flying through space somewhere in one of billions of galaxies and whatever we do or don’t do couldn’t possibly matter.

I really like some of the complexities that were pointed out in the comments, like “who pays?” and “does he really love alcohol or is he just addicted?”. I guess it’s often a question of finding some kind of balance. I don’t know what that would be for the alcoholic, but the guy who likes to beat people up should look into Kickboxing or MMA.

Anyway, before I ramble on any longer, let me just say: Thanks to Glen for the post, and thanks to everyone elso for the interesting comments!

Hi Glen – I think you’ve highlighted a big problem with believing death is inevitable – what’s the point of looking after yourself if the guy with the big flyswatter is gonna get you anyway? People into physical immortality, who believe death is a choice (usually an unconscious one), tend to embrace life-enhancing scenarios with more enthusiasm, because they see themselves being ultimately successful.
Cheers – Robin

you cant really enjoy life if all u have is yourself and no one else because i have spent my whole twenty six years of life completely by myself i was not blessed with a loving family or let alone friends so that saying life is only what you make it thats totally not true32