I have a confession: I used to think I needed to be fixed. I used to view personal development as a cure to my imperfections, a blue print to all my woes. You know what happened when I held those beliefs? I remained in a never ending cycle of neediness. I remained in a perpetual cycle of misery. And I know I’m not the only one who has done the same.
This may be somewhat surprising to you, but there’s no other way to say it. You don’t need fixed. I know that there are hundreds of books and blogs telling you otherwise, but I’m here to tell the idea of needing to be fixed is bullshit.
Does that mean you’re without fault? Does that mean you shouldn’t strive to improve? Of course not.
Maybe your health isn’t where it needs to be and you need to begin exercising and eating right. Maybe you lose your cool a few times too often and need to develop patience. Or perhaps you have the all too common tendency to be too hard on yourself and need to work on your internal intimacy.
We all have areas of our lives that need work. But thinking you need to be “fixed” only hinders your potential to grow. The more you try to fix yourself the further you become from being whole. Being whole doesn’t mean to lack imperfections but to instead synthesize both your good and bad qualities and reveal yourself in your rawest form.
The Personal Development Trap
Falling into the personal development trap is dangerous and self defeating, and many of us fall into it without even being aware.
The trap? Believing you need fixed.
Because the world of personal development is a place of endlessÂ opportunity, Â it’s very easy to get caught up in all the things we “need” to change.Â The problem is, living every moment of your life like you have to improve, does nothing but produce a consistent state of unhappiness. I’m all for being the best person you can be, but part of growing is knowing when it’s time to rest andÂ celebrate your success.
Growth doesn’t occur on a linear scale. Some days are wonderful and some days are poor. The problem lies in the belief that if you’re not “growing” 24/7 you’re not ‘good enough.’
Often times we automatically assume that, “personal development” is always a good thing, yet in reality it can sometimesÂ suffocateÂ our life from within.Â I can’t tell you how much time I’ve wasted thinking about all the cuts andÂ bruisesÂ I could fix instead of justÂ appreciatingÂ the present moment and learning from the lessons that come with doing so.
When personal development becomes an addiction in which you need to justify living fully, you know you’ve fallen into the trap.
The Illusion of Being Fixed
I write and talk about self improvement not because I want you to think I’m better than you, or for you to think less of yourself, Â but because Â I want you to embrace personal development Â from an empowering perspective . And believe it or not it’s impossible to grow consciously if you always think you need to be fixed. Thinking you’reÂ scratchedÂ is a waste of time, because being fixed is anÂ illusion. Thinking you need fixed is like a dog chasing his tail.
So often we Â pursue personal development as a means to ‘fix’ something that is wrong with us. But when you pursue personal development from that state of mind, you’re missing the point entirely. The only way you can become fixed is byÂ realizingÂ that you can’t be. You can’t be whole without your faults.
Now let me make it clear, reading personal development blogs and books can change your life. I know, because it changed my life. The personal development journey is a wonderful one no doubt; but sometimes we rely far to much on the techniques of change rather than tuning into the only true source of transformation: Ourselves
Conscious growth occurs from the desire to better yourself not your addiction to repairing your problems. Becoming aware of
You Don’t Need Fixed
Personal growth should add to your life, not keep you in a perpetual state of Â thinking you’re not good enough. I’ve spent years of my life thinking that reading the latest book would help heal the problems that I thought I had, but I soon realized it onlyÂ perpetuatedÂ the only thing that needed fixed most, my mindset.
Again, pushing yourself and getting out of your comfort zones are important. Striving to better yourself is an admirable goal, but believing you are broken only cements your wings when you hope to fly.
Don’t live life thinking you need fixed. Operate from the mindset that you can and do choose to grow.
You don’t need fixed. This moment is right where you need to be.