5 Lessons I Won’t Forget from 2019

I didn’t originally start PluginID just as a way to help others, but also to document my own progress in life on the path of being who I want to be and living how I want to live. I’ve managed to document how I make dreams a reality, how I made $20,000 in 4 months and even 8 things I have stopped doing as much as possible. Since launching this site I’ve quit my job, worked for myself for almost a year, and moved to Amsterdam in the Netherlands. It’s amazing what happens when you actively track a journey, so now I want to go back over the last year and pick out some of the most important lessons that I have learned.   If you have your own to share, I more than welcome you to share them in the comments or even make this a blog-meme and write a similar post for your own site.
  1. Realise You Enjoy Being Unhappy
I’m not talking about some fictional ‘you’, I’m actually talking about you sitting right there and reading this. You enjoy being unhappy. You might not believe it or even like the thought of the idea, but based on my experiences, this is true. I’ll need someone smarter to explain the science behind this, but it’s an interesting concept I want you to try and observe: people don’t like changing their emotions. Whatever emotion we are in, we want to stick to it. Therefore, on a very core level, you enjoy being unhappy, nervous, miserable, stressed and of course…happy. Have you never spoke to someone who just did not want to admit they are wrong or even just get over a situation? Have you never turned down an event that sounds fun just because your negative emotions have totally taken control of you? How long did you stress about the boy / girl you like or your last break-up? Once we are in a state, we like to stay in that state. This means that whenever you are feeling down or miserable then you need to proactively work towards getting yourself in a better state. You need to realise that this change won’t happen naturally (at least not anytime soon) and consciously sculpt your own feelings. If you still don’t quite get this then try to observe it around you in every day life. Look for the times when people have a clear opportunity to solve a situation and get out of their negative mood and simply don’t take it.
  1. Focus On What You Put Out, Not What You Get Back
The saying “give and ye shall receive” and other permutations of the same message have been told thousands of times so I’m not going to repeat them here. What I will say, however, is that you should practically eliminate all caring about what people or the world give back to you. I fully appreciate all of the recognition I’ve received for my work and what I’ve managed to achieve, but I don’t work towards it. Next week I’m being featured in the 2nd biggest newspaper in the UK, but I didn’t work towards that happening. Instead, I just completely focused on what I put out to the world and it turns out that what I got back was quite favourable. When I go out to a club at night, I can only control how I act towards a girl that catches my eye, not how she reacts to me. When I write a blog post, I can only see whether it meets my personal standards to be published, not whether people are going to love it and share it. Your focus should also be about the value you are putting out into the world, and not what other people are pushing on to you.
  1. Nothing That Happens Changes Who You Are
When I first planned to move to Amsterdam with a friend, we decided that we would make a number of personal development videos as we both own websites in the industry. Certain things about the idea meant that it was put on hold (although we have taken hundreds of videos) but a specific video I want to talk about was in regards to making friends in a new city. Both of us know it’s easy to make friends wherever you go and we wanted to show that on video — moving to Amsterdam was ideal for this project. We do have some clips we may share in the future, but the main way we make friends is to simply approach people on the street. That means literally walking up to people in any social setting, probably surrounded by lots of people who can see what you are doing, and starting a conversation. As you can imagine, some people aren’t very receptive to this and you get what we call “blown out”. Other people are very friendly of course and I’ve met tons of awesome people in Amsterdam, but it’s blowouts which are ‘hard’. It’s not a nice feeling to be totally ignored or rejected in front of a lot of other people, but it’s this feeling which took me to a new realisation. Rejections, blowouts or being ignored should mean absolutely nothing to you. It’s out of your control. Even if you get “blown out” 1,000 times which all resulted in public humiliation, you are still the exact same person. You’re still you. You’re not dead. Your ego just took a little battering, that’s all. You’ve managed to overcome every single hurdle that life has thrown at you so far. You can overcome every single hurdle in the future, as well.
  1. The People That Matter Don’t Mind
One of the best quotes I have read this year has to be “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind” by Dr Seuss. I like this quote not only because of its simplicity, but the message that it promotes is similar to points 2 and 3 from this post. One of the biggest things that holds any of us back in life is the fear of what other people think. Public speaking, karaoke, sharing your thoughts in a business meeting and even deciding what clothes you want to wear that day can give you negative emotions if you place too much emphasis on how people view you. Instead, realise that the people who have a problem with what you do in life deserve no real estate in your mind. Instead, those people who don’t really mind about silly things you do or things others might judge are the people who should really matter to you. Maybe I just find the whole idea comforting, but this is one quote I won’t be forgetting in 2020.
  1. Release As Often As Possible (The Sedona Method)
2019 was the year I fully discovered and got involved with the Sedona Method. I had used it for a short while in 2008 but only this year did I dedicate hours of my time to the program. There are two things I quickly want to say about the Sedona Method before we continue:
  1. This program is very intense but also quite expensive. For that reason, I won’t link to the product with an affiliate link. If you buy it, I don’t get anything in return — this is a genuine recommendation.
  2. If I ever released a full personal development product with hours upon hours of content then I would want it to be this. I would be proud to have my name behind this product.
Releasing is very much what it sounds like: releasing all of the feelings and emotions inside of you until you are at a stage of hootlessness (where you don’t care what people think or how something will turn out). This feeling of hootlessness is better described as ‘meditation on steroids’ in my opinion. With the Sedona Method, I can get into a deep meditative state within minutes and easily hold it for up to an hour. Despite 2019 being a year full of achievements and success, there were still times that I was miserable, unproductive, or in denial. Each time, releasing with the Sedona Method helps me to get over any negativity and allowed me to feel totally content with my current situation. I have nothing to do with the product or the company that makes it, but 2020 will be a much tougher year if I don’t release regularly. Now that I’ve shared lessons I won’t forget, I would love to hear some of the most memorable things you learned in 2019!