Grasping This Concept Will Massively Impact Your Life

I’ve been in Amsterdam now for around 6 weeks and I am absolutely loving it here. The main reason I wanted to visit Amsterdam specifically was for the party lifestyle that such a big city would allow me to live. You can trust me when I say I’ve been making the most of it. I’m a big advocate for having your own reasons to do something and one of the big reasons I wanted to make a living online was simply to party as much as possible. It’s probably a motivation shared by very few people, but it’s what motivates me.

Irrelevant Rejection

Millions of guys around the world go out every single night to party, have a good time, and hopefully meet women. Their plan of attack for doing this usually involves drinking as much as possible to get their liquid-confidence levels high and then starting to dance or speaking to people around them. When myself and Diggy go out, we’re usually the opposite. We always try to bring the party wherever we go by dancing and socialising – usually without any alcohol. As typical men, we also like to meet women and see where we can take our interactions. Three days ago we were walking around town (which was totally dead) when a promoter eventually convinced us to get out of the cold and into his bar. The first thing we see when we enter is two cute girls sitting on a black leather couch, so, naturally we go and sit next to them. Diggy introduces himself first and…nothing. The girls barely even acknowledge we are there. Assuming they just need to lighten up a little, we continue talking to them. Still, nothing. The girls wouldn’t even say a word. (As we were leaving, they did the same thing to another guy).  When you experience something like this for the first time it can be very awkward, but we literally go out every single night of the week so as a result of repetition, it doesn’t bother us anymore. Last night was pretty much the same. Every club we usually go to was completely empty (due to people going back to work) so we chilled in a bar for an hour then started walking home. On the way back I spotted two very attractive girls walking towards us. It looked like they were also disappointed with the lack of atmosphere, so I walked up to them and simply said “You guys look like fun, let’s go find the party”. Boom. That was it. We each grab a girl and let’s just say, the night turned out how we wanted it to.

Finding Your Moment

I don’t want to sound egotistical, but I rarely see guys like myself and my friends who are willing to do things that put you on the line. It could have been so easy for those girls to ignore us or just stay by themselves. Instead when I’m usually out I see guys relying on alcohol or standing on the edge of the dancefloor just waiting for things to happen. These are the same kind of guys who would probably feel humiliated if they were ignored by the two original girls like we were.  I know this not only because I see it on a daily basis, but this is exactly the type of guy I used to be. The reason we fear certain things is rarely because we’re worried about something going wrong, it’s because we’re trying to get something from a person or situation. (I’ll be the first to admit that this may be contrary to anything I’ve written in the past but is likely to happen as I grow as a person and learn more about the world.) For example, the reason people get nervous for job interviews is usually because they want to make a good impression on the interviewer. If you prepare as much as you can for the interview and then just completely accept whatever the outcome is, your anxiety will diminish greatly or even disappear altogether. When I think back to the best moments in my life or even sometimes when I’m just sitting by myself, the feeling far surpasses what anyone else can give me. I enjoy being out with girls in clubs, but they can’t ‘give’ me anything more than I already have. I enjoy making money, but beating an income record does not change me as a person. I would say that some of the best moments in my life so far have been:
  • Being featured in a book that is sold worldwide
  • Seeing my niece for the first time
  • Having a roof party in South Africa with everyone who mattered to me there
  • Releasing with the Sedona Method (presence)
Even this moment right now cannot really (we’re talking on a very core level here) be topped by success in any form. This is a good example article if you need understanding this concept.

Practical Application (The Important Part)

To help you really connect with this, the first thing I recommend you do is think about the best moments in your life. Do they include a birth? An anniversary? A present? An achievement? Whatever your best moments are, just become aware of them. Now look at best moments from the perspective of getting something from other people. Unless you’re very material, the only thing you get in these moments is the presence of the event or the situation. Yet in the majority of times where you feel anxious, lower value or out of place, it’s simply because you’re looking to get something from the situation. You want the job, you want the girls (or guys) phone number, you want people to like you and so on. If you stop looking to get things from life and realise that your best ever experiences have just been the total presence of the moment, all negativity and doubt just drifts away. This doesn’t mean you don’t try for things or make changes in your life but that you genuinely don’t care whether someone likes you or what is going to come out of a situation. You just enjoy the fact that there is someone and a situation.

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